Dracula ships ranked by a sad caffeinated queer:
Mina/Johnathan
The OG goth spouses. No adpatations go in depth enough about their relationship and PTSD and it really fucking sucks. Like, if you want to make it Horny just add some healthy sex between them, maybe even them trying to navigate their boundaries after all the Dracula stuff. Also I’m always there for the AUs where Johnathan does join Mina in undeath. 10/10
Lucy/Mina
Extremely blessed, good potential for hurt/comfort, lots of food for Lucy lived AU where she and Mina bond over trauma. Horny stuff should be handled carefully not to make it fetishistic (don’t be Coppola). Also if you make some respectful take on Lucy being a hypersexual survivor I will actually kiss you. 10/10
Dracula/Renfield.
A complete dumpsterfire. Beautiful in a “fucked up greek tragedy” way. The kind of a ship where: “What if they actually loved each other?” makes everything worse. Would love to see Renfield struggle to choose between the only bright thing in his life and protecting people he barely knows. Would love more Everybody Lives AUs where Renfield tries not to go back to that relationship. So, SO horny (seriously I need some content on 1977 version, I beg of you) 10/10
Van Helsing/Dracula
The grandpas are fightiiing. Not my cup of tea but I see the appeal. Also really like the AUs where they’re bitter exes making everyone uncomfortable with their decades old gay drama. Might have a nice shade of: “How could you turn to darkness”. Hatefuck vibes. 9/10
Arthur/Lucy, Quincey/Lucy
Good and sad, though kind of bland and straight. Would love me some Lucy lives AUs where they have to deal with their undead girlfriend. 7/10
Seward/Renfield.
There’s barely any content on this and for a good reason. Should be tackled with care. Sexual abuse of patients is very much a thing that still happens and if you can’t write about it tactfully, then don’t touch it at all. However I do think it would be inetersting to see the Crew of Light react to the fact that Seward could do something like this and be one of the reasons Renfield joined Dracula. 5/10
Dracula/Johnathan.
Don’t like it, sounds too much like 2012 fujoshi shit. Probably supported by Stoker’s original notes, might have bad biphobic vibes, if your Dracula is the only male character attracted to men in the whole narrative. I’m only on board with it if it’s shown as horrifying, the way Mina’s assault was. 3/10
Van Helsing/Seward
Nah. Helsing doesn’t sound like the type to fuck his students. The only way I dig it is if it’s just Seward having an unrequited crush and Helsing trying to be friends and low-key panicking, because, boy, this kid has Issues TM. Nothing horny though. 0/10
Quincey/Seward, Arthur/Seward, Lucy/Seward.
I’ll keep saying that. I know you want your quirky mad little scientist to ship people with, but like, please, choose movie!Herbert West or something. Seward might not be Dracula, but he’s still very much an ablist creep who brought a fucking scalpel to his proposal, went: “I’ll be very sad if you refuse” to Lucy and experimented on Renfield for shits and giggles. Nobody needs another narrative where a person perpetuating psychiatric abuse gets into a happy relationship and faces zero reprecussions for what they did. 0/10
Dracula/Mina
No. Don’t. -999999/10
Dracula/Lucy
Don’t. -9999999/10
