~ ily ~

where are all the sugar daddies at im tryna get spoiled

I can’t believe they removed Tumblr from the app store because you were all mean to me

This is obviously sarcasm, but the fact that you’d even make this joke considering the massive amounts of blogs being deleted because of this incident shows how massively overinflated your ego is.

they had to be deleted to make more room for my ego

This would so cool. May I have one please?

This should be interesting

🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲

the first true utopia

If you’re a man and you don’t love your girlfriend a lesbian will

Consider it a Threat AND a Promise

Every time this is on my dash, it’s an automatic reblog.

*uses lol lmao and rip as punctuation*

I feel like getting my college degree will be simultaneously a relief and extremely underwhelming

This is the best part of having a dog :)

My heart busts a nut every time someone tells me they saw something and thought of me

im so glad i didnt die before i saw this

out blazing

… a trail for the other pioneers.  tomorrow we head west, in search of fame and fortune.  the oregon trail beckons us forth.  on ye oxen and ye settlers, let us claim our destiny

I’m trying to find this girls social media rn

I’m her gay friend in the front seat

I CAN LITERALLY RECITE THIS LINE FOR LINE, THAT’S HOW ICONIC THIS IS

iconic

omg it was actually “John in Detroit” and not “Jonathan’s” i had to listen to it again to pick that up