12/30/2023 - handwritten note titled "things hugging inside"


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@phasdraw
12/30/2023 - handwritten note titled "things hugging inside"

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a song dedicated to the memory of the abdominal ectopic foeti
have you guys heard oft this drawing thing. you can make beautiful women
i need to be alone
remeber when life gets you down at least there's higgins

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2025! what a year! i feel like i'm still not exactly consistent, but there's pieces that i really adore from this year. a lots happened, too! overall, very happy with where we are right now
(template from CanineThistles !)
bells & whistles
birthday c:
hussie is fetish farming and i'm providing my largest and most beautiful turnip up on a silver platter like its nothing
which could mean nothing

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bounny
7 14 19 shari :3
7. What is an aspect of their appearance that you like the most?
i love ! their hair swirlies :3 those big uh side bang things idk what the word for that part of the hairstyle is but i love it, i think it's exactly what they need to convey their character & fits the sf style very well ! fun to draw too, even if they tend to block things :'D other than that, i just like their face
14. Do you have any quotes tied to the character, either from the story itself or from another source that fit them?
i went a through a bunch of pieces to look for something else but i always give the good lines to fang, apparently... so the one that comes to mind anyway is from a talk with ken, 6-era
19. What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?
it's hard to understate just what shari's done for me! their whole concept has taught me a lot about myself and made me a lot happier! their design is a little weak, i think, though, and over-complicated in places
ill take MEAT WONDERFUL for 2, 3, and 5 🥩
would you like fries with that 🍟
2. How long was the process before the character reached its final version? (or a version that would be clearly recognizable as the character?)
meat sprung fully-formed from my brow, dewy and sweet, in the middle of the night as i awoke from dreaming. here's a screenshot from march 2021 of the note i made! the indent in his hair for his nose actually wasn't intentional, but drawing on my phone made the shape happen and i went with it
the only part of his design that's really noticeably evolved is the addition and refining of his collar, which wasn't present in his original sketches. it was quickly added, then grew in size and shape until it took up most of his shoulders
Dec 2020 / Feb 2021 / Feb 2021 Mar 2022 / Jan 2023 / Jul 2025
i've refined how i've drawn him a bit, but he's never actually had any major design changes! his personality hasn't changed all too much, either
3. What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?
related to the the above screenshot, his appearance and personality came about the same time (4:06 am), then name, then his role in the story got sort of poured into place! lute was actually made after him and shoved next to him, which is funny given their whole deal. the original drafting of this looked something like them trying to return him to thorn (princess didn't exist conceptually yet) and being prevented from this by circumstance
5. How did you choose their name and why? Was it simply based on vibes or is there any specific meaning behind the name? Are the reasons behind their name different in- and out of universe?
i honestly have no clue if the words "meat wonderful" came from anywhere in particular, but i do know that the idea for a name structured like his (i.e. nonsense, noun-adjective in a grammatically nothing combination) was inspired by a lot of my friends being fans of lobotomy corporation at the time. the abnormalities have similarly odd names! i never played it, but iirc that's in part due to the original korean studio falling victim to a scam when outsourcing the english translation. so the not-really-names like Shy Look Today, We Can Change Anything, Behavior Adjustment, Nothing There, etc. really captured me and i knew before i made him i really wanted something named like that.
in canon, there's no given reason for his name to be MEAT WONDERFUL nor any reason for the proper capitalization, the same way there's no given reason for his cartoonish vantablack structure or stark white skin or disappearing mouth or size, all literal facts about him that people recognize as other and strange, not meta stylizations or visual metaphors. the meta thing is the intentional choice not to provide or even fully conceive of an explanation, the point is that meat is both different in a way that's not understood and as much of a person as anyone else.
GIMME 20!!!!!!!!
20. Bonus question: share any additional thoughts, art, favourite scenes, anything you've been waiting for a chance to ramble about
i've been thinking recently about........ leitmotif................. my dream is to actually compose musical motifs for every main character, but i'm not very musically inclined. for now, i've just started with what instrument comes to mind for each of them! so for those i consider my mains:
mieras feels firstly like a xylophone, i've been listening to this song a lot recently and that plonky beat (i'm very bad at id'ing instruments in songs so that might be something completely different actually) reminds me of him. you'll find me really biased towards percussion probably, since i did used to play drums when i was much younger c: i spoke with verg abt all of these the other day too, and hy pointed out that it's probably bc it feels pretty oingo boingo, which i also tend to associate him with :p hy also suggested a theremin, which i can very much see in an audio sense but leans just a little too futuristic for him i think.
the biggest problem in creating a motif for him centering just one instrument would be the variety of ways in which he's presented. he starts the story as another villain in my mind, maybe even the very first, in a particularly scary way. i love writing him this way, with other characters terrified of him, a reflection of the very real fear of monsters in du Roi and the very real harm that he's embraced bringing to people. in his human disguise, he appears to most people as unsettling, foreign, and intimidating for his work, the fear only increasing as he reveals himself and his exact plans for any given person thrown his way. after he joins aster's party however, he becomes a lot more lighthearted, borderline comic relief, though he still has his moments
to me this necessitates something with a wide scale, which, again, percussionbrained leads me farther than one might think. overall, the slightly childish, alien sound of a xylophone (and i Do mean xylophone, specifically, and not a glockenspiel or marimba or bells or etc.) has a vibe that fits him as he is in multiple ways, across keys
meat wonderful strikes (🥁(🥁)) me as a bass drum, a little limited in tone, but deep, foundational, resonant, present, and again, intimidating. he's built on changes in rythm, not note, but that's not the only function of the bass drum, even - think whale song. i associate him with bass-heavy songs in general, too! verg suggested church bells for him too, which is an awesome pick and has a similar large, resonant, and intimidating vibe. the one issue i take in constructing something from church bells is actually something that still makes them fitting - their momentum. it's very hard to construct much with church bells, as once they're going, they're in their pace and hard to stop or change
draugr is a fiddle! verg suggested this before i told hym it was my choice, too! of course there's a whole strong southern vibe to his character, it reflects in a lot of music i associate with him too. the thing about a fiddle is that it mentally conjures a certain sound, a way of playing in these quick patterns, but it's really just another word for a violin, whose immediate associations are more refined, and, to me, melancholy. he embodies a lot of mixed interest and duality, so once again, there's this ability to construct multiple motifs for his own varied nature while keeping the focus of one common instrument played multiple ways.
i am actually considering vesker one of my main ocs atm given how much trouble he's caused me, and my first thought for him is a trumpet, though i'm not 100% sold on it. verg suggested a church organ, two for two on very specifically religious sounds, so i think we're doing okey dokey on consistent theming 👍 i like that angle, but it embodies his world more than him. immobile, huge, reverent, terrifyin-- do i really make all my characters that intimidating?? god. anyway, check out this video about organs and horror and come back and you'll get why it's the first thought for the godzilla guy. ignore the part where he says organists are feet people. or, uh, don't, since... well, anyhow.
the trumpet, however, is more personal. for one, this is another middle school band feeling but trumpets... are sorta annoying. to me, the sound of brass instruments on their own is almost always feels... awkward? they can be pretty abrasive. incredible in range, but i don't think jazz for him. i think military, but not necessarily grand. i don't have a good idea of where i'd actually land his melody because of that range, but well, he's not solid enough to be percussion, he doesn't have the flow of a woodwind, he doesn't have the movement of strings, i feel like he must be brass.
and then quick off the cuffs, stevie is a guitar (i thought electric, verg said acoustic, he plays both, both are right), valtor is a dulcimer, eliss ives is a didgeridoo, shari is... a lyre? maybe?? since we were just talking about mousetrap they're probably some incredibly specific small percussion, like some kind of shaker or fish

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Mousetrap 1 6 20?
mousetrap is a fun one bc they're one i've had for a good couple years but haven't really talked about or drawn until recently c:
1. What was the original thought that led to the creation of this character?
mousetrap was less a conscious decision and more something that came to me - they're less a character i decided on and more of a memory, a sort of sense of self. regardless, they came with a fixation on the carmen sandiego 2019 series & one of my unwilling blorb-ing of a character that appeared in three episodes! you've probably seen me draw him even more, actually!
for some context, he's an operative of a criminal syndicate and acrobatic-contortionist, with a specialty in infiltration, working in small spaces, and evading capture. he's also very goofy :3 i tend to really like & connect with characters that piss me off, i think :p
consciously or not, i think they came to be designed as a good foil to neal, both mechanically given that their unique skill (they existed before fly trap did i SWEAR) is physically restraining targets while his strength is being impossible to restrain, as well as their quiet, depressive, and serious nature
6. What was the thought process behind their appearance? Did you go mostly for the aesthetic or are there other reasons they look the way they do?
mousetrap is one of my most blatant self-inserts, so for the most part, they just look like me! or, how i looked when i made them. short, long, straight, dark hair - their clothing is usually dark and gender neutral as was my preference at the time.
it's not present in the one drawing i've posted, but their design usually includes a black facemask, which was also something i preferred to wear (it was covid-times about that i made them i think, so that's a given), and, specifically, something they wear to hide their teeth, which are both appropriately mousey and something they're insecure about
the hat just furthers their otherwise very covered form, and giving them baggy and bulky jackets is another counter to neal
20. Bonus question: share any additional thoughts, art, favourite scenes, anything you've been waiting for a chance to ramble about
here's a doodle i haven't posted anywhere that's a better little reference of their normal appearance! i have a few scenes in my mind for them, but i also have a dream of actually presenting them as comics :3 so instead i'll talk abt how i find them interesting as a little time capsule of my sense of self and feeling from just a few years ago
mousetrap's entire story was that they failed as an agent, so when the syndicate tried their normal strategy of removing agents - a.k.a erasing their memories and sending them back out as a civilians - something malfunctioned and they lost their memories of everything except the syndicate, leaving them functionally with almost no personality and an inseparable tether to the organization and their work
that whole story feels a lot more reflective of my depression and lack of control over my situation i felt a few years ago, especially comparing them to my most recent direct self-insert, shari, who has their own problems but is also a complex and loved older adult with a career and community rather than a mentally-fried crime drone relying on the vague interest of someone else to drag personality out of them
Character asks!
These are more focused on the background stuff rather than the usual "what would the character do in XY situation" kinds of asks. I've been looking for something like this for quite a while and in the end decided to make my own. Feel free to use, go wild, enjoy
What was the original thought that led to the creation of this character?
How long was the process before the character reached its final version? (or a version that would be clearly recognizable as the character?)
What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?
And reverse, which one of the four things did you struggle with the most?
How did you choose their name and why? Was it simply based on vibes or is there any specific meaning behind the name? Are the reasons behind their name different in- and out of universe?
What was the thought process behind their appearance? Did you go mostly for the aesthetic or are there other reasons they look the way they do?
What is an aspect of their appearance that you like the most?
What is the origin of their personality? And let's be honest - how much of it is projecting?
How big is their role in the story? Do they make a frequent appearance or are they a character with little "screentime" but big influence? Or are they just a favourite background guy?
What is their main character arc in the story? Where do they start and how do they develop? Do they get a happy ending or is their story a tragic one?
Is there any existing character from other media that your character resembles? Was the resemblance intentional or was it a coincidence?
Do you have a playlist for the character? What songs do you associate with them and why?
Do you have a voice claim for the character? What do you imagine the character sounds like?
Do you have any quotes tied to the character, either from the story itself or from another source that fit them?
Have you ever made a moodboard for them?
Is there any memes or running jokes associated with the character, both in- and out of universe?
Are there any motifs or symbols associated with the character? How are they represented, in their design, personality or in some other way?
Does the character have other characters connected to them? Do you have a family tree and "offscreen" connections made up for them or do they exist in a vacuum purely for the purpose of the story?
What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?
Bonus question: share any additional thoughts, art, favourite scenes, anything you've been waiting for a chance to ramble about