BuffPeter

Dwarves at the carousel 🎠

first attack is kitty from @peterpant

Cicada sketches by Vincent van Gogh.

this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem

1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"

#he called a potato peeler “Knife to make vegetable naked” and Thorin and Bombur still haven't recovered from that one

Okay yes yes yes yes

Yes

Yes Bilbo second(fourth?)-language Khuzdul and Iglishmêk learner and the Company second(third?)-language Westron speakers is so utterly mo cupán tae [my cup of tea.]

Because imagine even just the sounds of it:

Bilbo can't roll his Rs like Dwarves, but can like Elves [as in Bilbo and as far as I know Sindarin the rolled R is /r/ as opposed to Dwarvish /ʀ/ or English /ɹ/. (Interactive IPA chart for those who don't know what I'm on about.)] and the Dwarves finding this mildy offensive. Or cute if it's Kíli and he's like he is in the movies.

Or the way the Dwarves speak Westron with those gorgeous /ʀ/ sounds. I don't know how Khuzdul does sound mutations and allophones: but say it's like German where consonants often de-voice at the ends of words; or certain English dialects where final K, T, or P can turn into ejectives; or anything like that and Bilbo finding it weirdly beautiful, or strangely harsh at the beginning and beautiful by the end because it's the sound of his Dwarves.

Imagine Bilbo using Westron phrases in Khuzdul and they not making any sense at all: á la how may grandad used to say "black with people" (a direct translation of the Irish "dubh le daoine" which means "very crowded.") Or visa versa: the Dwarves saying Khuzdul phrases in Westron.

Imagine Bilbo having that moment where he's like "I know what each of those words means, just no idea what the sentence means." Or him having to grasp new grammatical concepts that Westron doesn't destinguish.