WEBHEAD

"What, aren't you happy to be back? Learn to relax a little, won't ya?"

“a little hard to relax in this line of work if i’m being completely honest. especially not now. not when avengers are getting blown up, and x-men are picking fights in times square.”

"The way you scrinch your face up kinda gives it away, you know. My wife says I do the same thing. Did it make me stop doing it? No, no of course not. But I recognize it in other people now, which is fun I guess."

there’s a beat, a moment of silence before he reluctantly lets the muscles in his face relax, forces himself to return to a more neutral state. “oh yeah? really curious to learn what other peter-isms we all share,” his tone is dry, but any ounce of remaining sarcasm seeps out of his words as he gives the other peter a tired, half amused smile.

"Oh." Peter's lips flattened into a straight line and then he nodded in understanding. "May always used to say I wasn't a very good liar— I get it now. You alright?"

peter swallows harshly, giving the other a tired nod to mask the quick once over he does in a panic at the feeling of wrongness that he can’t shake, “ha, yeah sure. no, i’m fine. promise, dude.”

"Yeah." Kaine gave Peter a light shoulder squeeze, then cleared his throat and backed away. "It's like your senses have to re-calibrate, right? It's a huge pain in the ass."

“god yeah, you have no idea. and so much has been happening, i’ve barely had time to stop and think. i mean, mj and i haven’t even –” he trails off.

"Did you also lose your ability to lie when that spider bit you?"

"did you lose your ability to understand sarcasm when you– when you- turned blue? have you always been blue? i have no idea."

"oh really? wow, that's just great! guess i'll just take my team and fly back into space! since we're not needed or nothin'."

"i don't know if meeting my sarcasm with more sarcasm is the best idea," there's a tired exhale, the smallest inkling of a smile as he speaks, "i'm floundering here a little bit, man."

“You’re doing a shitty job at convincing me, bro. You’re doing this weird thing with your jaw as you talk like everything’s not great.”

there's a pause as he unclenches his jaw, "got it. message received."

It didn’t take her long to uncork the bottle and take a long swig straight from the neck before she practically slammed it down onto the counter and swallowed thickly. “I’m not like.. imagining you, am I? You’re seriously here? Because I swear to God, Peter, if you’re some kind of Spider Force Ghost or something right now I’m gonna kill you all over again before this mystery bomber does.”

"you know, you're gonna need a hell of a lot more of this if you really wanna get me drunk," he let out a tired chuckle, but the amusement was completely genuine.