HUMAN TORCH.

"Spontaneously combust? Shite, mate, take ten steps back." Elsa shook her head. "You've always had to worry about vampires, you just didn't realize it."

Rolling his eyes, Johnny just shook his head and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "It's not exactly spontaneous anymore. You're fine." He stilled though at her next words as his lips downturned into a slight frown. "Always?"

"Hey, that's normally my line. Although, I don't mind autographs. It's nice to not have to be camera ready."

"I'd sing the riff from Wicked, but I won't subject you to that." Johnny joked back, smiling at the woman in front of him as he raised his eyebrows and chuckled quietly. "You know what they say, stay camera ready and you never have to get camera ready." Who was they? Why was he being so weird? Johnny paused then, holding out his hand as he took a deep breath. "Sorry, I'm being an asshole. Johnny Storm."

"Look at us go. Here, high-five." MJ held her palm out. "You mean Reed Richards, right? He seems like a pretty good metric to go off of."

Johnny obliged, reaching out to give her an enthusiastic high five before slowly closing his hand down to his side. "Yup, that's the one. He doesn't get freaked out by much, but this has him stumped."

"Oh, is that how it is now?" The smile that crossed her tired face was genuine. Johnny — at times — had been a headache. Susan hadn't expected to have to parent him while she was still growing up. That didn't mean she would change anything, though. She'd agreed in a heart beat to be his sister even though it meant light nights and falling asleep studying as exhaustion weighed her down. "Do I look selfie ready? Anything in my teeth?" She flashed a quick smile.

"Susie, hey.." Johnny hadn't been expecting his sister to roll up unannounced, and he couldn't help the grin that he broke out in at her question as he leaned in and pretended to ponder her question as he looked at her teeth. "Yeah, you've got spinach. Tons of it." His grin slowly faded into a regular smile as he tilted his head at her and raised his eyebrows. "What's up? Don't tell me I'm late for another team meeting that I totally knew about."

"Is this code for you're hungry? I can make you something. A break won't kill me." It was easy to slide from the role of researcher into big sister. Johnny could make his own food. He had before. She just needed to feel like she could do something in the midst of feeling powerless.

"Yes. Please, make me something. And maybe take a nap afterwards."

"Thanks for the permission. I was really wondering what the blonde haired, blue eyed, spandex wearing teen who lives in a big fancy tower thought of me. I prefer getting opinions from real people, not walking advertisements for what society thinks super powered people should be like."

"Woah, ouch. Having half a million instagram followers doesn't make me not a real person." Johnny couldn't help the playful smirk he gave her, even if his skin was prickling with annoyance. "And I'm not a walking advertisement. The Fantastic Four is a fully fledged team at this point. Like it or not."

"Being a mutant is my Tuesday, Monday, Wednesday, and so on. You get the picture. Some of us catch on fire like you, others move things with their mind like me. We're not the only people with powers, but they love Captain Marvel and hate us. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me."

Johnny paused when she mentioned that there were mutants that caught on fire like him. And that she could move stuff with her mind. "If you ask me, your powers sound ten times cooler than mine. But... yeah, you're right. That doesn't make sense. Maybe it's the marketing behind it all? Not that that's your fault, obviously... People just suck, I think."

"You don't need to apologize. I did not ask you for anything." Crystal wasn't quite sure a selfie or an autograph was. She also was unsure of who he even was, or why he'd warrant attention.

If his sister was around, she'd tell Johnny that he was being rude. He could practically hear Sue chastising him for letting their newfound notoriety get to his head, but he couldn't help it sometimes. "Right. You must want to talk to one of the others if you're here."

"Well, aren't you lucky?" America's lips twisted downwards. Before being wrenched away to Earth-Prime, she had been pretty close to considering Earth-199999 her new home. Her actual home remained as inaccessible as ever. At this point, the Parallel and her mothers may as well have been a dream. Watching him eat her pizza with a slight frown, America tugged a new slice onto her plate. "People freak out if they can't get the right kind of milk for their coffee. Of course they're gonna freak out about something this big. All I'm saying is that the freaking out won't actually help, so maybe save the breath. It's been months since we got here. Have we made any progress? Nope."

"Very." Johnny quipped back, a hint of sarcasm to his tone as he spoke with his mouth full of pizza and swallowed it down. "My advice? Sit back and let all the smart people and wizards figure it out. I'm sure Reed's gonna crack it any day now." That was a little optimistic, but Johnny really did have faith that someone was going to figure out how to get all of these people back home. He also knew that that person was not going to be him. Pausing after another bite, he raised his brows at the girl in front of him. "This is really good pizza."

"Woah, dude! I'm just joshing with you. Aaand I'm now realizing that you probably have no idea what the hell that means.."

"Last I checked, I had signed up to hunt monsters, not traverse the bloody multiverse. Pardon me for not being super chuffed right now. Does anyone even know where the vamps hang out in this godforsaken reality?"

"You're telling me that not only do I spontaneously combust, but now I've gotta worry about vampires too?"

"Those flames don't scare me nearly as much as you think they do, man." Johnny quipped with a playful raise of his brow, letting a few wispy flames come out of his fingertips for a second as he threw up a fiery peace sign.

"No, I'm not a furry. Yes, I happen to have fur, but I'm not — hey. Eyes on my face, not the tail."

Johnny was absolutely staring, and not just at the tail. He had to reel himself in after a few seconds to fumble through a reply as he cleared his throat. "If you're looking for Reed, or my sister, they're out of office right now."

"If you were expecting a rant, I don't have it in me today. Most of the people in this reality haven't even heard of the Inhumans. Wait — have you?"

"I wanna say yes, but.. no. I don't think you guys exist here.. No offense."

"Hey, don't look at me. I may have a reality stone in my chest, but I had nothing to do with this. Do you think I wanted to be displaced and trapped in some bizarro New York?"

"I mean.. I think it's a logical conclusion for people to jump to. It's kinda hard to ignore the giant red glowing stone that also happens to alter reality. But I'm not displaced, so I won't give you a hard time about it."

"I may be new to actually being a superhero, but I'm not new to the world of capes. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this reality jump is a big deal, right? It feels like a big deal."

"I am also new to being a superhero, but I gotta say this is a first. My rule is, if Reed is freaked out by it, I'm freaked out by it."

"I'm not feeling particularly lucky right now, and that's saying something since we just left a reality where we were quite literally in the middle of going extinct."

"Oh, yeah. I heard about that. Wasn't the island called Cocoa or something?"