Be Good, Little One

Just for the records..... and personal ease

I redownloaded tumblr onto my phone and logged on for the sole perpose of writing out a text post about someone I dislike, because I can’t tweet it for a multitude of reasons.

Since I’m here I figured “hey let’s scroll through all my old posts” and boy were they CRINGE. Some of them are ok-ish, but others are like bro wtf. A few new things of my life since I’ve been posting last:

• Dropped old boy, he kinda dropped me but I really couldn’t have given less of a damn.

- I think it’s funny reading the posts I’d tag “him” in. I don’t recall any of these feelings towards him. Like, I know I was very infatuated with him, but I think a lot of it was because I was quite young, it was my first relationship, and I was more in love with the ‘idea’ of being with him and for so long. I don’t even remember missing him as much as the posts say I do while we were in our LDR.

- I realize now our relationship was unhealthy lol. He’s lowkey manipulative and an ass. Unintentionally but still. Also him being a bit older and I guess more “experience” made the relationship go way too fast in ways I didn’t really want it to. (Not like non-consensual though, I just didn’t realize what was happening and to was extent. But grew into it later.)

- The reason I realize that relationship was shit, is because I’m in a so much better one now. So so much better. He’s taught me so much about love and caring for someone and supporting someone and being there and how much fun and stress free and argument free a relationship can be. My last relationship was full of arguments. Just a couple months in we were arguing like crazy. With my now relationship, a couple months in we saw our futures together. And it’s exciting being at an age where it’s realistic. A year later and we still feel the same, but now even more so.

- Having no common interest with previous person took a toll on the relationship. Everything was so forced.

- I’m two years younger but sometimes I felt older just based off maturity. I feel so much better being a new person and out of that relationship. I love growing the way I have with my person now.

• I’ve grown. Literally. I’m just older now lol. College is cool. LDR is harder than I ever remember. (I think it’s because I like him more lol)

Basically I just wanted it to be in my tumblr record that things changed and I’m not with #n anymore and it’s so good that I am not. And, it is kinda sad, but I can’t recall the good feelings I had with him, I think it’s because the end of our relationship was so forced and inorganic.