it sucks that deez nuts jokes aren't funny anymore due to the stigma they have now i really miss making them :\

Ms. Frizzle *in a star fleet uniform* “battle stations everyone”

We never violated the Prime Directive at my old school…

Yes this is exactly what I had in mind

I don’t know why, but reading “oil on saltine” just sent me

Nothing on tiktok is this funny

if I had a 450hp fan, this is exactly the sort of shit I would get up to

Why would you stop this genius system? Just start paying the raccoons and call it a day

Unionize the raccoons.

I love working at joann fabrics today a guy asked me to show him the fake fur and when I did he goes “noooo… this won’t do” and part of my job is giving advice for projects so I asked him what he was using it for and he looks down at the floor and quietly says “… I wanna make a yeti costume to scare people with when we go skiing…”