Personal Shit N Pics

If you want Roe v Wade overturned, but don’t support:

Comprehensive sexual education in schools

Easy and affordable access to contraception

Access to adequate and affordable prenatal care

Paid parental leave

Subsidized childcare

CHIP (Children’s Health Insurance Program)

WIC,

Maybe it's because I started reading horror at a young age, but I learned pretty quickly that if a book is too heavy or graphic or whatever for you, it's alright to recognise those feelings, and either stop reading it entirely, or take a break. Do something that helps you calm down. Re-engage with comfort media. Give your pets a lil kiss.

So many parents I've encountered, when discussing what media they show their children, have this standard: if it upsets the child, they weren't ready for it. Ah, they cried watching the Lion King, so I should have waited until they were older. It's SO STRANGE to me and I'm at a loss to know when we got like this. You are supposed to cry watching the Lion King. I do.

One Crazy Summer is supposed to upset you and challenge you, shock you and make you angry. When we were reading it, and the kids needed extra time to process something, we'd just pause and either discuss it or just wait until we could all collect ourselves again, and then continue. My son struggled with the subject of anti-black racism for weeks afterwards. I took that as a sign that he HAD been old enough to grapple with the themes of the book, and connected well.

Like, I was more scared by the transformation of the evil witch in Snow White than I was upset by the dwarves thinking Snow White had died. My parents had me watching The Sound of Music when I was a literal toddler and my takeaway was "Maria is funny" and "I really like the Confidence song," and I don't think I even knew there were Nazis in it or understood that entire subplot until I was in... middle school, maybe? But I saw a sad Bugs Bunny cartoon when I was nine where it looks like Bugs dies and fucking lost it, because by that time I knew what death was.

I read books with explicit mentions of sex – not implied, literally discussed out loud by the characters – in middle school, and was like, "Why is everyone in this story so upset at two people sleeping together? What's wrong with napping with someone else?" I didn't realize until I was like thirteen and rereading those books to even know what they were talking about.

1. Don't lie to them if you can avoid it. Water down truths at your discretion, but if you try to lie outright, a good number of them are probably going to pick up on your weird energy and figure you're hiding something. This will very likely come off as "adult who doesn't think we're real people", which is how you promote rebellion.

2. Listen to the problems they come to you with. Imagine they were your problems. If Brůnden at work stole all your pens and ignored your requests to leave you be, you'd be pretty pissed if your manager told you to "just use your nice words" or "let him get bored". Decide what you would want an adult to do, and form a reasonable response.

3. Let some of your weird (child appropriate) interests show. Odds are, when they see your passion, they'll take interest. I accidentally wound up teaching an intro to animal biology to a group of first graders in my after school program this way, and it became what they knew me for. Great for bonding, teaching, and bartering for completed chores.

4. Learn about things they're interested in, but don't force it into things. It'll help you understand what you overhear, and pitch in at the right moment.

5. Treats and stickers. They work on adults, and they work on kids. Make them take a little bit of effort to earn, but also pick special occasions where everyone gets one free. Once you get a better idea of their personalities, lives, strengths, and weaknesses, you can tailor this for personal growth.

6. Acknowledge their feelings. Verbally affirm that they are upset, they are frustrated, they are angry or sad, and encourage them to explain why, and work to find acceptable solutions. Staying perfectly calm and happy while they're angry might help to a point, but ignoring their obvious feelings will make them feel that you don't care or understand, which will make things worse. A lot of kids have a hard time figuring out how adults feel, and why, so empathy will need to be clearer.

7. Play with them on their own level. When you play a game they started on their own, follow their rules, and if you can't, explain why. Expect a few of them to try and mess with you. You're not as distant or alien if you can fall for the same things they do, or admit when you've been outsmarted or outclassed. Be aware that some rules may change at random, and don't go all out on winning.

8. Be honest in ways other adults won't be. When telling a personal story, mention offhand that you didn't like someone, or someone was mean for no reason, or another adult was rude or broke rules, they'll see that you think and feel in similar ways as them, and it can reinforce that yeah, sometimes life is unfair, no, growing up doesn't numb your personality, and no, you don't have to feel happy and positive and pleasant all the time. Sometimes things just suck, and you need to handle it maturely. It's acting on bad feelings that's bad, not the bad feelings themselves. And hey, sometimes adults ARE mean or rude or wrong! They're not crazy or dumb when they notice!

These past few days have been rough on American citizens. Stay Strong America. Spread love. Not hate.

Thank you for all the rides you’ve given me, jokes you’ve made with (and at) me, and friendship you’ve shared with me.

Also, to the friends, family, and loved ones of the victims in Orlando, you not only have my support and the support of thousands of tumblr users, but the support of the amazing @mishacollins and his army. Nothing will be able to fill the loss you feel right now, and I wish that you all have a friend like Callie to help you through.