Drag Direction

Day 2: Louis breaks his leg. No one is surprised.

Barely two weeks later Liam gets a fever. Things are not going well. (This is foreshadowing. Liam and Louis are the weakest links.)

...then Zayn gets a fever. Probably should have stayed away from Liam. Even in the Oregon Trail Zayn's hopelessly in love with him.

Fucking Louis. (Also look, we've made it out west! We've left behind the green green grass of the plains and we are officially in desert territory.)

Niall masturbates a little too violently and breaks his arm. At least we have scenic mountain views.

Really Louis?

We made it to Soda Springs and everyone enjoys a quick dip in the springs (except Louis who is busy being sick probably.)

Nobody gets sick or breaks anything for like a month and then we get to Snake River crossing and meet a Native American made out of racist pixels.

We decide to caulk the wagon and float across.

Spoiler alert: never fucking caulk the wagon.

GOD DAMN IT LOUIS. (I'm pretty sure Liam jumped in and tried to save him. He died a hero.)

A morose group of three makes it to Fort Boise. (Zayn is crying over Liam still.)

"Snakebite" or "moping over Liam's death"? To-may-to, to-mah-to.

Anyway hooray we make it.

One Direction claims a spot in the top ten (though its not really One Direction without Louis and Liam fucking caulked wagon I swear to god.)