my darling, you can't live like this forever

His first thought of course is to use it for miss beard. Maybe he could just wish that he never blinded her in 1st grade. That it never happened. That she got to live on happy without the trama. the mockery. the hate she must have towards him. But he doesnt he spends 3 days driving himself mad thinking and wondering. What exactly would that mean. Does he change too? Would the entire timeline shift and world tilt just slightly more to the right. and the eventually... would she even want that?

What if randy ruins her life again in a different way. Him making a decision based on his own emotions and effecting someone elses life with damage so deep shed be worse than she is now and itd be all his fault again. The endless cycle causes him to fall ill for 2 days.

So the wish willow sits on his desk wrapper smiling at him every night mocking or enticing hes not sure. He has half a mind to throw it out. But he cant seem to ever bring himself to actually drop it into the trash.

Eventually he just tries to ignore it no one is pressuring him he doesnt have to use it. Its just good to have a what if? a maybe? like money stored in a safe.

It isnt until he starts at the bbbs he finds himself really thinking about using it.

And it has to do with his coworker.

With Benson.

A man so quiet in a way far different than randys. Not trying to fade into the background like prey frozen in a field. Its intimidating. A warning. Scatter and steer clear or be mauled by teeth and claws.

And randy is drawn to him.

Its started out innocently randy being bullied into loading the freezer and fridge items and do inventory by himself by Chris. It wasnt a big deal. Not really yes randy will probably have sore arms for a few days but hell live. Hes about to agree when benson speaks up right behind him. He jumps cause he hadnt even seen benson stalk up behind him leaning against the wall like hes already bored of the conversation. Asking Chris why he doesnt do it himself? Or is it cause Chris cant? not wanting to embarrass himself in front of all of them.

Its enough to have Chris glare at both of them as he loudly claims he can do it and faster than randy can hes stronger and hell prove it.

Randy isnt listening doesnt even flinch as chris shoves past him. Because benson is staring at him bright blue eyes under his cap. They dont say anything and yet it feels like something has shifted between them.

It devolved quickly from there randy becoming far more focused on benson than anyone or thing he has in his entire life. Including his own guilt and misery.

Because Benson is new something... different and difficult. And it consumes randy. A bird swooping closer and closer to the claws of a cat.

Randys will breaks after one shift of being to close to benson all night. Fingers constanly rushing against eachother silent glances the kitchen seems to keep getting hotter and randy is shaking from something hes never felt before. Hes trying to focus on prep for morning but keeps getting distracted by the sweat running down bensons neck to his collar to how his short tucked lets randy see his lean waist.

He doesnt even notice hes about to chop off his own fingers.

Until benson is gripping his wrist so hard it'll bruise staring at him with a raised brow.

They dont say anything. Randys heart is beating to hard to fast bensons hand is steady he squints his eyes a bit before he slowly let's go. And randy cant move even as benson walks outside. Hes staring at his reddening skin as a loud untamed part of him wishes hed grab him harder pinned him down and-

Randy stands in his room hands shaking as he holds the wish willow in his hands hed never gotten this far never actually taken it out. Neve thought he would but hes losing his composure cant reign and smoother his emotions like hes been taught like he always does. Hes wants for the first time in his life something someone so badly its maddening. And randy has tried waiting tried ignoring tried being nice and good its gotten him nowhere. Hes to awkward to weird its not cheating its just a little help everyones allowed help. Right?

He thinks about it a cold sliver of hesitation curls up his spine. But his mind is faster feeding images fantasy and intrigue all at once feeling more like an overheating computer than an organ.

The snapping is deafening in the silence of his room. His light flickers and for a moment hes actually scared wish frozen behind teeth. But the light stays on and panic seizes his heart. He doesnt want to waste this if it even works. and before he can really think of the consequences. He whisper out how he wished benson wanted .... needed him as much as randy needs benson.

1:A song you like with a color in the title

2:A song you like with a number in the title

3:A song that reminds you of summertime

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

5:A song that needs to be played LOUD

6:A song that makes you want to dance

7:A song to drive to

8:A song about drugs or alcohol

9:A song that makes you happy

10:A song that makes you sad

11:A song that you never get tired of

12:A song from your preteen years

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs

14:A song that you would love played at your wedding

15:A song that is a cover by another artist

16:One of your favorite classical songs

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

18:A song from the year that you were born

19:A song that makes you think about life

20:A song that has many meanings to you

21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

22:A song that moves you forward

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

24:A song by a band you wish were still together

25:A song by an artist no longer living

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love

27:A song that breaks your heart

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love

29:A song that you remember from your childhood