“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

if we’re dating my name is baby

Nice racist joke dude! I couldn’t help but notice that your real political goals align with that though

does getting a septum piercing hurt?

there’s a friday ass vibe about this wednesday boys keep your wits about you

she pound me like a thwomp. EEUURRGHERHHGH

i love when someone says “that’s so you” it’s nice knowing i have a little vibe of my own

Scientists have found that if you get 8 hours of sleep and are still tired during the day it’s because your soul is cursed and your body doesn’t think you deserve happiness. There is no cure or treatment

maybe your cat is meowing bc it wants a cigarette