Welcome, welcome

I wish I could go to a doctor and just list every single symptom I ever experienced no matter how small and unconnected they seem and the doctor is nice and patient and knows everything and they nod and smile and explain that every symptom I ever experienced is connected to like one rare and often overlooked issue that's sooooo easy to fix with like. a pill. and then I never have to worry about anything ever again.

my three favorite things are the oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities

love the phrase 'methinks'. me does think. thinketh me do.

answering my frone

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

damn this bus stop is perfect. now if we could just find somebody to stand upwind of everybody and smoke a decrepit cigarette they found in a tomb

bitching about outdoor second hand smoke while simultaneously being in or around a car pollution encased bus stop is wild when u consider for even a moment how much worse general car pollution impacts u compared to occasional second hand smoke like …. let’s pick ur battles

me???? tired???? sleepy??? yes constantly

I am consuming a media and you are going to hear about it

and the thrilling sequel: i consumed a media months ago and you are still hearing about it

and the cautionary conclusion: the media has consumed me

I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna b

(Smugly after failing at a task) and they said it could be done.

According to color theory, brown has more positive connotations than negative. Brown is associated with nature, stability, and warmth. Also a rich neutral tone goes well with most decor.

Shart rug at the public viewing toilet