domeidkwhatimdoingLMAOpeopleO_O

If you're reading this please know I hope to understand and have better communication. I often feel like you're the most confusing woman I know with walls like plutonium. I can only be me.

I hate the pain you can make me feel and am grateful for it every day. To feel is to live.

Learning about my own deficiencies during this pandemic. I want more of myself and expect more of the life I am developing. I should take a carving knife out for the grizzle that is my own facade of what I have of value in my life. There is much of value but equally as much which is fake or inauthentic. Humans are complicated and the more value I genuinely place on their importance to my individual life rather than the collective of society the more I feel disappointment and disdain for my own self. Soft heart and thick skin is more in line with this but the trite statement itself lacks the depth of proper explanation.

It’s March

I am happy to say I am slowly coming to terms with my reality.  Being taunted for liking running as much as I do from a place that supposedly is all about running hurt, but I also recognize that with dissonance comes cliche clarity.  I overthink as much as the next person.

I keep to myself for these reasons

My one roommate is blasting the TV at 730am on a Sunday and the other is having loud sex. I can't take this anymore. My life needs change even if it costs me a few extra dollars a month

Im coming to be at peace with my decisions