i did a running once

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

the soft animal of my body wants a spliff and four pints of cider

soft animal of my body is up for a kebab

it’s rotten work. to me if it’s me.

i drinka the coffee i get big

when the spring evening sunlight hits and you can be productive at six in the evening instead of dissolving into goo. fine. i guess the sunlight is powerful or whatever.

my body is a machine that turns normal situations into psychological horror