Honk Honk Self Indulgence For the Win

Warnings: kinda cringe? can't win em all. no specified gender for reader (i don't think??) uh possibly poor understanding on transformers lore. bumblebee is so fucking cute it's unreal. i know, reasonably, he's a seasoned soldier, but look at his wittle face omg.

"Okay, listen," Noah starts.

You're not at all listening, eyes flitting for an escape path in the darkened warehouse. It's impossible to listen when that is standing in front of you. What even is that??

The thing tips its head and lets out a good-natured chuckle, "Me? I'm an alien!"

Did you say that out loud? Totally did. Maybe you're saying this out loud too. You turn to stare at the silver and blue mutant porsche. He-it-stares back at you with a dumb little smile on his face. He whispers, "We can be boyss.."

"Okay, Mirage, shut up." He turns to address you, ignoring Mirage's mock-hurt scoff, "Listen, Mirage isn't gonna hurt you. He's fine, and we need to leave before-" Noah cuts himself off, and tilts his head as if listening. In the distance an engine howls, echoing off the buildings and growing louder by the second. "Shit, okay. Listen, just be cool. Cool?"

Before you can reply that no this is most certainly not cool, a bright yellow camaro comes screaming into the warehouse. It drifts to a stop, nearly bumping into 'Mirage'. To your dismay it starts a horrible whirring, and unfolds into another of these things, aliens? Mirage said he's an alien. Mirage also complains very loudly about possible scratched paint as a result of this new robots wrecklessness.

The newcomer doesn't dignify him with a response, just makes a pitchy buzz and does the 'talking' sign with his hand. It's got one big hand planted on a hip, resembling a backtalking teen girl more than a giant, terrifying alien robot. This one looks very different in general. The more you look the harder it is to stop.

"Bumblebee, dude, I think you broke the human." The porsche, Mirage, you remind yourself, accuses, pointing at you. Its name is Bumblebee. You turn to look at him, and are met with big blue eyes. Bumblebee. Your heart may give out right now.

"Hi." That's all you can manage to say, shocked into silence by a myriad of emotions. This is objectively a very dangerous thing, and you should be running for your life. Instead, you're staring up into bright optics. He’s got little antennae. Oh my god.

In a trance, you step forwards, craning your head back until he kneels down to get a better look at you. The robot lets out a tonal hum, almost like a 'Hello!' and holds out a hand, then a single finger towards you. "Oh my god," you mutter, grabbing his finger and giving it a light shake. Giant alien robot wants to shake your hand.

Mirage grumbles somewhere to your left, "Oh sure, she doesn't scream bloody murder when he does it."

"Oh my god." You repeat, stepping closer. You reach up fingertips ghosting along his cheek before you remember yourself. Cool metal meets your palm just as you begin to withdraw. The yellow bot leaning his cheek into your hand. He makes a satisfied whirr, and his optics flutter closed.

This is too much, and you squeal, "Oh my god! Look at you!" before launching yourself at him and wrapping your arms around his neck. Noah stares incredulously as you sob into the mesh of his neck, babbling on and on about his little eyes and his little face and his little antennae and oh my god he has little wings. Bro to bro, he thinks Mirage is pretty cute, but apparently no mech stacks up to Bumblebee.

"Noah," you say between peppering kisses all over the mech's face, "you should have led with this." Finishing your statement with a wide gesture to all of Bumblebee.

"What? Mirage is cute!" Noah replies defensively, Mirage pipes up with a little 'thanks, bro', "Also you're kissing on a fully grown man right now. That's a whole adult person that you're baby talking."

That is troublesome, or would be, if Bumblebee didn't make a sweet little 'beep!' to draw your attention. Then you're right back to cooing over him, completely oblivious to the self-satisfied look he shoots both Mirage and Noah.

The former of which runs a hand down his face and groans, "He's playing you! C'mon, man." Whatever, if it takes Bumblebee playing pet to keep you quiet about the Autobot's existence then so be it. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't at least a little jealous though. With his shit-eating grin in place Mirage turns to Noah, "Hey, bro, why don't you-"

"mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine.

"mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love.

"mine" not like possession but devotion.

not "belongs to me" but "belongs with me."

Was feeling not so good today, but then I was inspired by a certain page in my Book of Bill! This is incredibly self-indulgent lmao

Synopsis: You don't like the way you look. Bill decides to cheer you up in his own weird way.

Content: can be read as platonic or romantic, established relationship (timeline is unclear but like assume he's just living with you or something), OOC Bill Cipher, talks of dysmorphia and self-deprecation, attempt at comfort, mostly lighthearted and silly, Bill's advice may not work for everyone!! but he does mean well (or is trying to anyways)

Imagine Starlo trying to confess to you. He's clearly nervous, having taken off his hat and is currently wringing it in his hands, and his sweating having nothing to do with the Wild East's heat.

Imagine Starlo, at first, being unsure if he should even admit his feelings in the first place. After all, friendship is better than losing you entirely. But this isn't his first rodeo. He's already lost his childhood crush because he couldn't say anything, and though they're still on good terms, he doesn't want the same to happen with you.

Imagine that, despite it all, Starlo manages to muster the courage and tell you how he feels. His speech is rushed in some places, and sometimes his accent would slip thanks to his frazzled nerves. Eventually, the mask of 'North Star' seems to fall more and more as he goes on about why he fell for you, never missing out on any single detail.

Imagine that he stops trying to confess to you as North Star, Sheriff of the Wild East, but as Starlo Sunnyside, the dorky corn farmer who's fallen for you so hard he doesn't know what to do with himself.

Imagine his surprise when you reciprocate. Imagine his rays flaring out, and his teal spots brightening in a deep blush. He truly lives up to his namesake with how much he looks like a star right now.

Imagine Starlo stammering out a "really?", because he's not sure if you were joking. Imagine his lips rise into a wobbly smile, resisting to not let out several whoops of joy, and instead replying with a clumsy "th-that's great!"

Imagine that, when you both confirm that you two are 'a thing' now, he walks off with the biggest and goofiest grin on his face. When he makes sure that you're not in eyesight, Starlo jumps up and lets out all his pent-up excitement, loudly celebrating as he runs off to tell Ceroba about "The greatest thing that's ever happened to me!"