oil me up, daddy

Someone give me their Disney+ info. I’m not motivated enough to have a third streaming service but I want to watch the Hamilton pro shot. I already have too many possibilities.

Okay I’m ready to not be a fucking shut in!!!! Who needs friends?

I took a shower at night so I wouldn’t have to tomorrow when I wake up at SEVEN AM and now my power is out and I’m going to sweat my balls off and have an oily ass head. Why am I literally the female lead in a romcom where everything goes wrong but then I meet my soulmate and am I going to meet a handsome man tomorrow who sees through the grunge and pursues me or am I a straight man who’s trapped in quarantine?

A power outage in this weather is like a free trial to Hell.

Why do sex toys have to be fun colors? You’re not going to look at them.

Guys, what the fuck? Heads up penny luck is real.

@sunflcwerss We should start a business together. You’ve got lady foot lovers covered. I have the man foot lovers covered.

I’m just saying that you don’t have to be a foot fetishist to profit off of photos of your feet.

Plot call. Plot caaaalllllll.