Okay, so, not to sound stupid, but like….if I’m only sometimes turned on by hearts, & most of the time it’s more of a connection, intimacy, & comfort thing for me, does that mean I’m not a genuine cardiophile?? Or is cardiophilia a spectrum?
Because, here’s the thing, right? I’ve been into heartbeats (in both ways previously mentioned) for as long as I could remember. I genuinely liked them so much that I had my dad buy me a steth when I was like 7 and I used it on myself & all my friends for years because I didn’t realize that it was “weird” to most people. 😅
Like I said, always been into it. But, it was really only sexy to me when I or someone else was listening to mine, or when I was listening to someone’s else’s heart that I felt really close to at the time. Again, a connection thing. But, also, I’ve just always been into the heart’s reaction to things like postural changes, (turns out i have Hyperadrenergic PoTS, so my heart—who I’ve recently deemed Nessa, btw—her reactions arent normal 🤡) differences in breathing speeds & patterns, workouts, recovery from workouts, etc.
& honestly, I didn’t know that cardiophilia was even a thing for a long time, so I was ashamed of it because I’d never met another person so into heartbeats. But, now I’ve learned about the cardiophile community & I’d really love to meet some new people, make some new friends; but not like…horndogs 😭😭 yk?
But like…if someone were to ask me what I’m into? Girl, idk. 🥀 I’m still figuring that out, honestly 😅
All I know for certain is that I am not into resus & dark shit like that. It’s not because I judge it or anything. I just have health issues of my own that keeps me anxious ab my health as it is, & I don’t like being reminded of my own mortality more than I already am every day with my chronic illnesses.
Idk, maybe that’s just me, though.
I digress! I’m new to the community, so I wanted to use this post as an..introduction, I guess? But also just a genuine question, because I am quite curious as to where I fit in here, or if I even do. I dunno, though, I didn’t say anything too personal, so I’m not sure if it can be called an “introduction”. But that’s because this is a secret blog because I’m only just starting to explore this side of myself. I’d like to keep it kind of separate from my everyday blog for now.
