certified dither fish: designated chiller

cop pulls me over little does he know my drivers license is written in elf hieroglyphics & blinds anyone who reads it

The really unfortunate thing about mental health progress is that sometimes you realize you've made it in the form of "wow, I haven't felt this bad in a fucking while"

On the one hand it's a bit of a pick me up in a dark place to know that this will pass because it has passed before on the other hand sometimes it isn't entirely a pleasant thought to go "wow, I used to feel like this all the time. That was pretty fucking bad. It's pretty bad right now too also."

Someday your current baseline will be the sort of thing you consider A Really Bad Day. It does get better.

all the best weed in america comes from a single farm run by the last bigfoot in existence

this website is always finding new and exciting ways to prove this image true

Quite possibly the only person in the world to injure their knee while watching a play

Happy pride month to all non-binary people who don't/can't medically transition yes you are allowed to call yourself trans yes you are allowed in trans spaces and if you do choose medical transition you are not "stealing resources" from "actual trans people" because you ARE an actual trans person

we need to bring back the phrase "what business is it of yours" in a big way i'm serious

i know you can just say "none of your business" but phrasing it as a question with a jarringly formal tone is the ideal way to shoot an overfamiliar unwelcome overture dead in its tracks and force the person making it to confront the boundaries they're taking for granted + it would really piss people off which is funny

&also it allows you to experience the joy of talking like an autistic vampire, which i highly recommend