I found it that time. You, my first evening star

them: i just don’t understand it. last week i airlifted an entire bus full of tourists to the top of a skyscraper and rigged every floor with fun, non-lethal booby traps. i wore my best cape, my tightest black leather pants AND i added 5 more flirty winks and seductive smirks to my monologue. how could i possibly have been more obvious?

would u like a him in these trying times

Reblog to plant a berry in the soft, loamy soil

i have a horrible misogynist rooster who only likes blonde hens so i always have to make sure i have 2-3 yellow hens around so he doesn't run anyone ragged. i didn't know this was a problem someone could have but i've had macklemore for eight slutty, slutty years and he's been overly obsessed with the blondness level of his lady friends for the entire time with no sign of slowing down so, like. props to him for sticking to his guns.

our spanish teacher was making us describe pictures of lots of weird objects in class and she put this pic on the slide