Bruce, introducing his kids at a family Interview: This is my eldest Dick, my second eldest Cassandra, then my son Jason, my second youngest Tim, and my youngest Damian
Bruce: That's my daughter-in-law Barbara, and my other daughter-in-law, Stephanie
Tim: ??? Steph and I broke up forever ago?? How is she your daughter-in-Law?
Stephanie: I may not be dating any of you anymore but I'm the State of daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law is not a family title, it's the friends you make along the way
Jason: I'm not high enough for this shit
Golden boy Dick Grayson: Me fucking neither
Bruce: ??? What do you mean she's not my daughter-in-law anymore?? I was counting on her marrying into the family :C
Steph: Sorry B, unfortunately your son would rather kiss superbitch than me
Dick: TIM IS KISSING WHO NOW
Bruce: >:( We'll talk about that later, right now-
Tim: I don't think that's necess-
Bruce: We'll talk about that later. Right now can't any of you date her?? Jaylad, you're sin-
Jason, already on his second blunt: You're so funny, old man. I'm literally co parenting my best friends kid. I'm literallyyyy be gay do crime. Haha.
Dick: YOURE WHAT WITH WHO NOW
Bruce: CAN ANY OF YOU JUST DATE HER
Cass, slowly raising her hand like in Hunger Games: I volunteer
Bruce: This is why you're my favorite daughter 🥹
Cass: Father, I'm your only daughter
Tim: Untrue. I did drag one time, that has to count
Steph: Does this mean I have a girlfriend
Damian: This family is a disgrace
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