*eats weed by the fistful*

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Took me long enough.

+8000 follower raffle, bitchez.

How to enter!

1. Like or Reblog the post! Each counts as a vote in your favor. :)

2. Gotta be following me. It’s a follower raffle.

3. Doing it on multiple accounts seems a little cheaty, so don’t do it.

While I could just write a proper ending, I instead decide to use the last installment of my series to teach everyone a lesson about narrative: if I made a story where the characters, say, only talk about eating tofu, all day, for hundreds of pages, without ever resolving any of the issues that the story previously set up, that would be Bad.

So, since I am the most cleverest boy in all the world, I do exactly that. In the last installment of my series, the epilogue if you want, I have all my characters drop everything to only talk about tofu: “see how Bad it is?”, I say. I am a genius.

People do not like my epilogue, and they say it is because it is Bad. You wretched dunces, that was exactly my point: I taught you a valuable lesson about narrative! It is not a lesson anybody asked for, no one forced me to write about tofu, I decided of my own accord to make the story Bad so that everyone could see how Bad it would be if I had done that.

Nevertheless, as many people valiantly point out to defend my epilogue, the lesson is still technically true: Bad thing are Bad, and it is advisable not to make a thing that is Bad. That is why I made it Bad.

powerful

Rat

named

Charles

Entertainment

Millions of Dark Pain Death Orbs Pour Into the Los Angeles Reservoir to Destroy even more Water Amidst Drought

On his cue of “balls away,” Mayor Eric Garcetti released the final 20,000 dark pain death orbs into the reservoir on Monday in the city’s effort to destroy even more water and ensure the pain and suffering of water drinkers amdist the city. Los Angeles is the first city in the country to use dark pain death orbs to destroy its water.

*puts on a cowboy hat*

<|:)

“The guy got on the roof of his van with a crazy look in his eyes I’ve never seen before, as if in his universe there was only him and the Skywhale. He hurled the broomhandle like a harpoon, got it right through the eye.

“We all clapped and cheered, not like we hate the Skywhale or anything but it was just unbelievably cool.”

It then took several hours for security staff and onlookers to disentangle Ahab from the corpse of the Skywhale which had slowly but majestically fallen directly on top of him, like a heavenly blanket with massive breasts.

The sculpture, a hot air balloon depicting a whale as it may have evolved if it lived in the air rather than the sea, has had a mixed reception since it was first launched in 2013. Critics of the Skywhale cited its outlandish appearance, large breast-like appendages and ‘dumb, smug whale face’.

…

Artist Patricia Piccinini, who designed the sculpture, has asked that charges not be pressed against Mr Ahab, claiming that she was “invigorated” to see the public engaging with the artwork on such a meaningful level and that she couldn’t ask for a “more fitting way for a big balloon that looks like a whale to complete its lifecycle in the public eye.”