bruised & broken

          The dreaded press duty. Pax had no idea what they’d done to piss Wymack off enough to warrant being on press duty this time, but they weren’t going to complain. At least if they did pretty duty now, excited about a win, then maybe it wouldn’t happen again until later in the season or after a terrible loss like the last games. Pax thought the Foxes did well tonight and was proud of the team. They’d even managed to assist in a stopping the Jackrabbits from getting a goal. The Foxes just weren’t very far in the season and they were trying their best to remain positive. After sending a quick text message to Emma about being on press duty in case she wanted to watch, Pax headed towards where all the reporters were, hanging back to wait for Neel. 

          After a minute, Pax’s phone buzzed and they checked it to see a text message from Emma saying that she knew they’d do well during the press conference. Pax wasn’t entirely sure if that was true or not. Paxton was never good in front of cameras and was always nervous when they were the center of attention. They waited a moment and spotted Neel. 

          “Are you, uh, ready?” 

Location: Fox Tower Time: ‘Why aren‘t you asleep?’ hours Status: Open POTENTIAL TRIGGERS: Mental illness, panic/anxiety attacks

Summer couldn’t remember the last time he had a panic attack.

They’d been a staple part of his teenage years, where they took place in toilet cubicles at school or at the end of the garden where no one could see or hear him. He still had outbursts; fighting on the court and snapping at teammates and what have you, but the anxiety he’d carried with him his whole life had near enough disappeared at Palmetto; until now.

It isn’t one thing that sends him over the edge, rather everything that has been building up over the course of a few weeks. Gwen is ill, he’s too far away to look after her like she would do for him; he doesn’t feel good enough to be on the team; his grades aren’t as high as they should be; he can’t get his sleeping pattern or his diet in check. It’s too much to be stewing over at this time of night when he should be asleep, instead of lying awake in bed with his hands gripping his own hair like it will make his headache stop. He can feel himself slipping as his chest goes tight and his stomach knots. All of the air in the room disappears and it takes smacking his head on the bunk above him, as he stands up, and tripping over a t-shirt on the floor before Summer can make it out of the bedroom.

He doesn’t know where to go but he wants air. The roof is too high and just thinking about being up there makes him feel like he’s falling. The library is too quiet, the common room might have occupants, the kitchen is too bright. He half jogs up the corridor and down the stairwell, heaving for breath and hoping that he can get to the bottom without falling or running into anybody. He gets to the bottom and reaches for the door, yanking on the handle hard…and it doesn’t open.

“No, no, no…” Summer muttered to himself as he pulled the handle harder, putting all of his weight into it all while failing to see the ‘Push’ sign inches above the handle itself. “Fucking open!” He shouted.

          Pax hadn’t had a real panic attack in years. Being at Palmetto meant that they were relatively calm all the time and didn’t have to worry about anything bad happening. Or at least anything as bad as thing had been. In high school, that had been a different story. Anxiety over their parents and their sister was more common than Pax wanted to admit. Panic attacks would happen all the time over the smallest things. And they’d only gotten worse when their parents found out. After moving to Palmetto and making the school their own -- the Foxes their home -- there was no need to panic. There wasn’t a reason to feel like crap all the time. Paxton could be open about who they were and what they wanted. It felt good to not panic at every little comment someone made to them. 

          Even now with a stressful season, Pax felt calmer than they had in years. Perhaps because it did no goo to stress over things they couldn’t control. Even if Pax had more things going on in their life than they had in a long time, they still refused to stress about things. If this was a year or even two years ago, things might be different. They liked that Emma was involving herself more in their life. Pax was beginning to trust her and Luana and love the idea that family was more than the found family they’d come to consider the Foxes. This year, somehow despite the Foxes two losses this season, was better than any year ever. Pax hoped it continued to be a good season so that Grant could get his so deserved win. They all deserved a good season this year. 

          Although it was late, Pax couldn’t sleep, so they put on their running clothes and headed out for a jog. That was their favorite thing to do when they couldn’t get any sleep. Running exhausted them if they ran enough and with the weather changing, Pax was ready for the cold air to burn as they ran because it always felt good after they finished their run. They were just getting back to Fox Tower when they notice Summer trying to open the door from the inside, but it seems stuck. Noticing a stick wedged under the door, Pax walks over to it and kicks it loose, hoping that’s enough to get the door to open. They pull on the handle and start to open the door. 

fNine pm wasn’t technically late—but he’d been up since five am, crammed multiple practices and his usual lectures into his day, and by the time Grant circled back to the court for one final push he was exhausted. There was only so much another coffee could do for him, even one with an extra shot of espresso, but it wasn’t as though that would truly stop him. This was their chance to grow, to come back in their third game and finally win one. He wouldn’t regret a few long nights in order to achieve that vision, but he would regret it if he didn’t give this his all. 

Pax had been on the court when practice ended and Grant left for dinner, and they were still there when he returned, albeit on the bench rather than out in the middle of a drill. Grant checked his watch—just over an hour since practice had ended. An hour of extra work wasn’t bad, and it wasn’t as though he could ever judge them for pushing themself hard, but there was an art to it. Running on empty only hurt them in the long run.

Grant cleared his throat, dug in his bag for one of the protein bars he always carried around (carefully selected, of course, the macros fit for a hard day on the court or in the gym, the sugar content as low as possible) and held it out to Pax. “If you’ve been here since we ended practice, then I’m guessing you haven’t taken a break to eat yet,” Grant said, in lieu of a greeting. “So here. Take this.”

         A normal day for Paxton did consist of more than one extra practice. Or at least one extra practice and a run if possible, plus all their classes. It wasn’t nearly as exhausting anymore as it had been when they first started this routine. They were trying their hardest to keep up with everything and this year they felt like they were finally. Although they were still struggling and the moment they stopped, they practically fell asleep right then. But Pax was dealing with it. Exhaustion or not, eventually there would be a break. When the Foxes won their first game, it would be worth it. Pax knew the rest of the team was feeling the same way. Especially Grant and Claudia. They had seen Grant at the court a lot because they both practically lived there. Pax knew what feelings they were all feeling because frustration was starting to kick in for all of the Foxes. Hopefully, the third game would be the game to kick the Foxes into gear and turn their season around. Pax really did hope that was the case, although they were never sure with the Foxes.

         Pax had gotten dinner before practice because they knew they wanted to stay a little later. There was also leftover food from lunch in their dorm room if no one had eaten it already – it was clearly marked Paxton. The extra work, Pax was convinced, is what was going to help with the next few games. If they pushed themself hard on court, then maybe others would also push harder. Maybe that was a pipe dream, but they could dream. They liked being alone on the court. Sometimes it was easier that way instead of being surrounded by people. People wouldn’t see them mess up. They’d stayed later than this after practice previously, so they weren’t too concerned.

They said they’re not going to tell anyone she was here. And that’s more than enough reason for her to stay already. 

“Because I’m a cheerleader,” She says plainly, a half-answer to Pax’s initial question just to humour them. She hates saying it as though it’s the cause rather than the effect that now only so happens to occupy her time, but if it means that it deflects any chance of them asking further, she’s content to play it up as her excuse. “And I can’t do both.”

Except she can, and she did. Sure, she can’t be on both teams- but that doesn’t mean she isn’t here playing now, knowing damn well she has to be up for cheer practice in a few hours. She knows the only reason she truly can’t is her mother; though she’d never admit that to anyone, let alone let herself hear the words out-loud.

She has their word already that they’re not going to tell anyone, so she might as well keep them company. “I know you’re Ridley,” She starts, gesturing to their jersey; though she knew that much already; while she knows the names, numbers and positions of most of the Exy team, Pax has mostly escaped her notice. “I’m Cera, in case you were wondering– but what’s your name?”

          Paxton wasn’t the type of person to go around talking about other people. They knew how it felt to have secrets threatened to be told by another person and it didn’t feel good when it was them, so they knew better than to tell other people someone’s secret. 

          “Do you like cheerleading better?” they asked, trying to make casual conversation. Or was this a conversation that she didn’t want to have and was just trying to get them to stop asking questions. Pax always overthought everything. They couldn’t imagine not doing something they were passionate about. Exy happened to be that passion for them, so if Cera had to make a choice, Pax figured that she probably picked the one she was more passionate about -- as ideal of a view as that way. They’d gone through hell to do what they loved. They might have had a very simple view on life, not that there was anything wrong with their outlook on life. 

          The weren’t trying to pry, just to make conversation. The lines were just a little blurred between prying and asking questions others didn’t want to answer. It didn’t help that Pax knew little about reading a person’s body language. If someone didn’t want to talk about something, they practically needed to tell Pax otherwise they had no idea. Other people’s expressions were lost on them. 

          People didn’t notice Pax -- and that was a good thing. They didn’t like being the center of attention, they didn’t want to be the center of attention. Pax barely could stand raising their hand in class because it meant people looked at them. “Um, it’s Paxton,” they replied, vaguely wondering if she really didn’t know and they were that invisible or if she was just asking to make conversation. “That’s a pretty name. Nice to meet you Cera.” They didn’t pay as much attention to the Vixens and were always meeting new ones.

time: 11:45 pm location: fox tower, back alley status: open

Raph’s not sure when this behavior became a habit. At first, it had simply been a less wasteful way to get rid of an excess of food, but now it is…something else, more important to his day than he’d care to admit. He no longer just tosses whatever scraps he has on hand to the stray cat that frequents the areas around the Fox Tower. Now, he makes sure to spirit a sufficient amount of food away with him whenever he leaves the dining hall. He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, only that the idea of the animal going hungry makes him feel very bad like he’s failed in some way. This creature, who is barely a 16th of his size at best, has masterfully manipulated him into serving as a regular supply of nutrition. That level of skill would actually be a bit terrifying if the cat weren’t so small. 

It’s only a moment after he’s opened the door to the alley that a dark shape is slinking out of the shadows. It meows at him in two high little bursts and winds around his ankles until he pulls a ziplock bag of chicken from his pocket and empties it onto the ground.

The creature eats quickly, with an efficiency driven by the memory of starvation. When he’d first found it, it had been half its current size. Not that its size had been part of the reason he’d begun feeding it. The emaciation had just been noteworthy, interesting, that was all. When it’s finished it returns to Raph, butting its head against his ankle until he crouches and runs a hand along its back. Perhaps, he thinks, it is not so bad to have been manipulated like this. At the very least the cat is soft.

          As much as Pax hadn’t been tired, it’s just started to hit them just how tired they really are. With school becoming somewhat more stressful the further on in the semester to practice and the stress of the next game, Pax didn’t know when it hit them, but it had. They were looking forward to somewhat of a break just for a day or two, even if they knew they couldn’t take a break like some of the Foxes. After dinner, Pax walked back to Fox Tower, planning to finish the little bit of homework they had and head to bed. 

          But before they could go in the door to the building, they spotted Raph. Unsure of what was happening and slightly curious, they followed the other Fox. It probably wasn’t a good idea to follow their teammate, especially since a lot of the Foxes had problems with that kind of thing. But Pax was... well not a huge threat like some of their other teammates were. 

          Quietly, because they were always quiet, Pax watched as the boy waited on a small creature -- a little cat. For a moment, Pax didn’t know what to do, they just watched as Raph fed the poor thing, which was obviously just a stray cat that had somehow made it on campus and realized that college students loved to feed stray animals. Pax had seen enough of them around throughout their years here at the school. The cat wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last. They made their way closer to the scene, if only because the cat was so cute and Pax wanted to get a closer look at the small creature. 

Location: Dining Hall Date: September 28th Time: 5:12 PM 

It’s always on a Friday that Alis feels a sense of relief – her tense shoulders finally relax and that terrible lip-chewing habit she’d picked up on disappears. The relief comes from making it to the end of the week, and while Alis is aware this feeling will go away come Monday, she revels in it for now. In the dining hall, she has a table all to herself and her dinner is staring back at her. This would have gone better with a beer, she thinks, twirling her fork with one hand. She sighs into her mashed potatoes and takes her cellphone out, glancing at the date. October was approaching soon, and October was always a difficult time for Alis. There was no relief for her in October, certainly not with practice, and definitely not with the anniversary of Evie’s death. 

It’s with a bitter sigh and a lack of appetite that she finally pops some food into her mouth, chewing and scrolling through her phone. Dry texts, an e-mail from her mom updating her on things back home, and a pop-up ad for eczema. She could slam her head into the table, with the lack of entertainment in her life. Others seemed to have so much going on – the head Vixen had literally smashed someone’s face in. Alis hadn’t seen it happen, but it sounded interesting. All Alis had going on was a suspicion that she was developing carpal tunnel from catching the ball during practice. 

As someone slides into the seat next to hers, Alis looks up curiously. “That could be taken, you know.” 

          Paxton didn’t like the weekends as much as most people seemed to like them. They mostly spent their weekends running, doing drills on court, and catching up on homework, which was the same as their week. Lately their weekends had been filled with calls from Emma and occasionally Skype calls where she just cried about having too much to do before the wedding. Pax would be thankful for the event to be over only because they were tired of Emma talking about it and it would be a bit of a break from her in general. It wasn’t that Pax even wanted that, but it was still strange to have her as support when things were still complicated. She’d always been the dramatic one. It would be nice to have weekend just be homework, practice, and running again. Thank god it was fall -- for one thing at least. Pax wasn’t ready for the weather change or anything else that fall brought. But at least the banquet was over and they could forget about being social until the next one. 

          With a lull in their schedule, they figured it was probably smart to head to the cafeteria to get something to eat. No one would appreciate Pax getting light headed from not eating, even if they had about a million things they really needed to do. Homework was piling up for some reason. Pax grabbed something to eat and then headed to find a table, unsure where to sit, hoping to see a familiar face among the crowd. It took about five minutes of wandering around, trying not to feel so lost and anxious at how many people there were in the place. This time of night was prime dinner time and they hadn’t even realized that otherwise they’d have grabbed something from their dorm instead. But after some time, they spotted Alis. At least somewhat of a familiar face. They didn’t know if she wanted to be disturbed, so they walked closer. Hopefully, that didn’t seem too unusual. Pax looked down, debating on just taking the seat, asking, or walking away. For a moment, nothing happened, so they sat down.

          “Sorry... I’ll just...” they stood up, looking around to see if there was anyone heading their direction. “I... sorry.” 

Location: Fox Tower Date: September 30th Time: 8:39 PM Open.

There was an emptiness to being away from home, of only being able to phone during certain hours and talk to the people they’d once again grown used to flooding their life. Once consumed with family, living and breathing for them; Del had to remind themselves that even though they going to make it somewhere for them, while they were here they lived and breathed for the Foxes. And it was something that came easy enough more often than not, pushing themselves harder and harder in training and on the court. Because they knew they weren’t good enough, not in comparison to the others around them.

Yet thet were determined. And determination was all Del needed.

Night air cooling, burining their lungs as they breathed it in. Their footsteps nothing more than beats of gravel that collided with the sound of their drumming heart under the street lights that dimly fought the darkness of the night. The students were few and far, likely due to hangovers or stress of the inevetable day of classes tomorrow.

Del took solace in the ghost like town. In barley recognising a face until they were out the front of the Fox Tower once more, stretching the last of the aches from their boy and allowing their heart rate to settle once more.

          Palmetto had become Pax’s home over the last three years. At first it was strange, being so far up north compared to where they’d grown up. La Place had stopped feeling like home a long time ago. During their junior year when they learned that being themself meant that no one was going to accept them except their friends. And they had all turned their backs on Pax not long after. Palmetto, South Carolina was more of a home than anywhere else, even if it was technically somewhat of a temporary home. They pushed themself too hard because coming back from an injury was hard. It felt good to belong somewhere and they weren’t going to compromise that. Working hard was the only way they were going to feel that way. 

          It wasn’t unusual for Paxton to run late at night. It helped clear their mind enough to work on homework. Plus it was just good to keep in shape, something they’d kind of slacked on that summer. Usually, they liked to keep company on their runs, but sometimes it was difficult to find someone to run with. Today, they’d grabbed their headphones and headed out, wanting to be alone for their run rather than with another person. Their feet hitting the ground at a rhythmic pace was calming. The week hadn’t been that stressful compared to some of the weeks they’d had before; with the game coming up, Pax was trying not to worry too much. 

          Like normal, Pax found themself on court late at night, trying to feel at least a little prepared for the next game in a just over a week. Pax was probably putting more effort than they needed to put into practicing since they always stayed late. They just felt that they needed the extra practice. With a terrible start to the season, Pax didn’t want the Foxes to continue to lose this year. Maybe it was determination to win, maybe it was actually having a family member on their side for once, maybe it was a combination of the two -- but whatever it was, had sparked some kind of drive in Paxton that they hadn’t felt since their championship game in high school. Which may be a dangerous thing or might just be the driving factor into getting a Fox win. Whatever it was, Pax wasn’t going to chance it by sitting around and not doing extra work to get ready for the game. They knew they weren’t the only one that wanted a win. Along with the Vixens, Pax knew every one of the Foxes was just as frustrated. But they knew, the Foxes knew a thing or two about being the underdog and they weren’t about to be underestimated this season no matter what happened. 

Akira laughed, his exhaustion tinting it. “We’re all trained to look ahead and not down at our feet. I’m not surprised you missed me. I’d have missed me.” But he was just too tired to get up. Akira hadn’t expected Paxton to come sit next to him either but he wasn’t complaining. It just meant he could lay here longer, and Paxton probably wouldn’t let him fall asleep either. Both good options to Akira. “Trust me, Pax. The last thing I want to do is fall asleep in my sweat gear on the floor. If Wymack found me passed out here in the morning…” Akira shook his head and closed his eyes. “I’d probably get benched and I am not about to get benched before we’ve even had one win under our belts this year.” He didn’t want to get benched either but he didn’t think he’d be able to sit through the next game knowing he couldn’t do anything to help.

“What time is it? Where on Earth would we find ice cream at this time at night?” Akira knew it was late, he just didn’t know how late it was. “And I don’t drink coffee so we’ll have to find a place the serves tea.” Although it was probably the last thing Akira needed to be putting into his system. Another tired laugh and Akira forced himself to sit up, groaning all the way. “You’re probably going to have to help me up off the floor anyways. I’m not….I’m not entirely sure if I can get up on my own right now. Pushed myself a little too hard tonight it seems.” He chuckled dryly. “Tomorrow’s practice is going to suck ass I can tell you that right now.”

          “No, I look down in general except on court. Habit,” they replied before realizing what that sounded like. “I mean... I didn’t mean that in a bad way. Just. I don’t like people looking at me.” You’re just digging yourself into a bigger hole, they thought. Just stop talking. Pax looked at Akira and smiled awkwardly. “Nah. You could just say that you were here late practicing. I don’t think anyone would care. Besides, I won’t let you stay here too late if you don’t want to be caught here in the morning.” They didn’t have any plans this evening, besides possibly doing homework and hanging out with Akira was more interesting than doing homework on any day. “Please don’t get yourself benched. We need you.” Akira was a much better player than Pax. Not that Pax wasn’t good. They just weren’t as good as some of the people on the team. Occasionally, there was just some hesitation on their part, remembering the bad times. “I hope we win the next game. I just... am tired of losing. I think we all are, but... I really want a win.” 

          They shrugged again, not having a watch or anything to look at the time. “I don’t know. My cell is in the locker room. I should probably check to see if Emma’s called,” they said, but made no effort to get up and move. “Drinking coffee is a bad habit. One I can’t really quit, but at this point what’s the harm? It’s really my only vice.” Pax was picky about what kind of coffee and how much they drank, knowing what the drink did. “Okay, but what about ice cream instead? I don’t know what coffee shop doesn’t sell tea as well. Ice cream just sounds better to me.” Pax laughed. “That’s okay. I can help you up. Don’t worry about that.” They smiled at Akira. “You could always pretend to be sick? Not that I’m encouraging that.” 

Time: 01:21 Location: The Court open.

She’s not supposed to be here. She’s not sure she can get into trouble for it, but she knows it’s something she shouldn’t be doing. She knows that she’s not supposed to be here, but she doesn’t care.

Her heart is beating a mile a minute, and she feels so good.

Clad in a stolen kit and the weight of a racket heavy in her hands; she feels free. The most at ease she’s felt in what would be months, if this wasn’t the third time she’d been her in the last week alone. She was getting careless.

It’s the steady beat of a ball bouncing off of a plexiglass wall, rebounding straight back into the net of her racket, and then back again, and again, and again.

It’s a relief.

She’s not sure how long she’s been at it when the doors are opening, pulling her from the steady beat. She feels like she’s been caught in the act – it feels like she’s committed a murder and been caught with the weapon. 

She doesn’t hear the ball ricochet back off of the wall, but she sees it rolling across the floor like it means nothing. 

It doesn’t mean anything. She’s just a cheerleader.

“Just messing about,” She lies, hesitant, as though she isn’t kitted up like she’s ready to win the championships. Like she doesn’t want to be here. Like her form isn’t perfect. “Thought I’d just, y’know, give it a go. But it’s all yours now.”

          Pax didn’t really know what time it was because they had been doing homework all day. What seemed like all day, was really just a few hours. And now they were tired of staring at homework. While college was important, it wasn’t the only reason they’d come to Palmetto. It had been for Exy. So grabbing their keys, they decided what better way to spend the rest of the day but to do some drills on court. They drove over, finding a parking space far away from the court so they’d get some kind of warmup walking and quickly made their way over to their locker room. 

          After the banquet, Pax hadn’t been spending nearly enough time around people. And overload of being around that many people was too much when it wasn’t school or practice or a game. Those were different situations. Pax was thankful that it was open and that there was a game on the horizon to focus on. Doing extra drills would help them. And maybe the Foxes would win this next game. Pax sure hoped they did. Emma’s constant assurance was getting on their nerves. She should be focused on the wedding. 

          Pax changed into their gear and headed towards the court and opened the doors only to find someone they’d never seen before on court. They vaguely recognized her as a Vixen. But what could she be doing on court? They watched for a second before walking over. “No, no. That’s...” Pax turned their head to the side for a second. “You’re really good. Why don’t you play?” It was probably a stupid question, but Pax wanted to know. Someone with talent and obviously enough dedication to sneak into court to practice should be playing Exy, not cheering. Unless there was a reason. Which there probably was and Pax just asked... which was probably rude. 

          “Sorry, you don’t need to answer that. But, um, you can stay if you want. Not like I’m going to tell anyone you were here or anything.” 

Location: The Court  Date: September 27 Time: 11:44 p.m. (OPEN) 

Akira was exhausted. Bone tired. Ready to put himself to bed and not wake up for the next twenty-four hours. He just couldn’t find the energy to get up off the floors of the court. He’d gone down for a breather and thirty minutes later hadn’t even bothered to consider getting up. Wymack was running them ragged and Akira ha been running himself extra ragged by sticking around after practice to run his own drills every evening. Partially because he wanted to get better at them, partially because he wanted to sweat away the nasty memories of the banquet, but mostly because he just wanted to zone out and forget about everything that was happening around him. On the court, like this, he was Akira the exy player. Out there? In the land of regular people? He was starting to feel less and less like the exy player and more and more like the TV star again. And he chafed under it.

He gave up trying to convince himself to stand, flopping onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. The lights hurt his eyes but Akira couldn’t be bothered to do more than close his eyes. He couldn’t fall asleep here, tempting as the idea was. If Wymack found him snoozing when he came in to work in the next morning Akira was pretty sure he’d suffer for it. And Akira had enough shit to deal with coming from his agent that adding Wymack on top of it was not an option. 

“Fuck me.” Akira groaned, throwing his arms out above his head. He knew he needed to get up, knew he needed to clean up the scattered equipment on the court, and knew he needed to get some sleep before his classes. It wouldn’t do if he was caught sleeping in his English class, but the will do do much more than breathe was proving difficult. He heard the door to the court open but didn’t bother to sit up and see who it was. Probably a janitor, they’d pretty much learned to clean up around him at this point. “I’ll be out of your hair in a few minutes. Just…need a moment is all. I’ll make sure to pick up the balls on  my way out.” Eventually. Soon. But not right now.

          Pax knew they were probably too tired to realize that they were tired because they still had at least a little bit of energy now that practice was over. This season had sucked and during summer practices, Pax had taken a bit to get back into the routine of doing physical activity since they’d barely done anything all summer -- at least according to them. Now with school tacked onto their day, they knew they should have felt exhausted. But they weren’t. Not like they should have been. Pax had no idea why, since usually they’d be at least a little more tired at this point in the season. As usual, Pax had gotten to practice early and stayed a little later than everyone else. They were determined to make this game better than all the previous games. They were determined to win this time. They just hoped everyone else was also on the same page.

          After a while, they decided to take a break. Enough was enough and if they didn’t stop, they’d make themself tired. Sitting down on the bench on the sideline, Pax imagined the court filled with people. Exy had been their only passion, their saving grace in the roughest of times. Sometimes now it just felt like an obligation. It wasn’t the Foxes fault this season hadn’t gone their way to far. They just had bad luck this season -- more than usual. Of course, Pax knew they just needed a win and things would get back on track for them. Maybe their upcoming game, the third game of the season would be that break. The Foxes needed it. Pax imagined the Foxes winning. The scoreboard showing the first victory of the season. Perhaps this game they’d all be determined to win this time and not give up the fight -- while also not fighting.

Brayden stared at Paxton as he silently wondered what part of him made them think he would want company. He was practically trying to melt into the walls. If he wanted to be with people, he would at least be over by the refreshment table so he could take advantage of the free food. Though, he didn’t really care who saw him, as long as they weren’t his brother. Sighing, Brayden leaned heavily against the wall, wishing it would just swallow him whole and end the shitty night. 

“Wasn’t looking for it,” Brayden mumbled as he sipped from his flask, keeping a careful gaze on the floor to make sure Wymack wasn’t looking at him. “But go ahead.” It wasn’t like Pax was going to blow his cover. He would be more worried if someone like Octavia was trying to hang around him.

Brayden watched as couples danced and other teams huddled around the tables pushed aside. There wasn’t a whole lot of intermingling with other teams, which was how it usually went. The banquets were a waste of time. They were just excuses to intimidate each other in fancy clothes. “Want some?” He asked suddenly, offering the flask to Pax, though he doubted they’d take it. 

          Normally, Pax wouldn’t have bothered Brayden. Especially in a situation like this, but there wasn’t much else to do. Everyone else was going to want to talk, want to engage, be way too high energy and Pax just never could handle that. At least with Brayden, they knew what to expect. Neither of them had to talk to each other; just being around each other was enough. The two of them weren’t the only people that didn’t want to be here. Though at least neither of them would try to make the other talk to people. 

          They awkwardly smiled and looked down at the ground. At least the answer hadn’t been an outright no. They could at least pretend they were engaging in conversation. Then no one else would likely bother them. “Don’t worry, we don’t even have to talk.” Pax just needed somewhere to be without being in the way and without having to do all the small talk that was annoying in the first place. Events like this weren’t their favorite. 

Location: Fall Exy Banquet Date: September 22 Time: After dinner (open)

Brayden plays the same game every banquet. He wears the same suit, sneaks in a flask, and sticks to the corners of the room where he hopefully won’t run into his brother. The only difference this year is that he actually has a date, and it’s a hard balance to hide but also not avoid Arlo–though avoiding Arlo might not be the worst idea, because he knows he’ll drag him onto the dance floor and he fucking hates dancing. 

He manages to sneak away from everyone as they transform for the room, moving the tables to make room for the dance floor. He sips on his spiked drink as he keeps a careful watch of the room, ready to disappear at any sight of blonde hair. Every year, Brayden hopes Landon will just avoid him like he did so easily when they still lived together, but for some reason, his brother always finds a way to track Brayden down and try to talk to him. Well, it’s not happening this year. 

He’s so busy scanning the crowd that he nearly jumps a foot in the air when a hand grips his shoulder, and he shoves it off with a growl. “Jesus christ, you fucking scared the shit out of me,” He mumbles, jaw twitching as he tries not to let the panic show on his face. “Wear a fucking bell or something. I’m trying to blend into the wall over here.”

          Like every banquet before, Pax wore the same thing, acted the same way, had the same conversation with Wymack before the event started. But this year there were some changes. Instead of the ratty old tie they used to wear, Pax now openly showed they were with the Foxes. It wasn’t like before they didn’t want to announce it to the world -- being seen had always been uncomfortable. And it wasn’t like the other players didn’t know who they were. They just liked blending in more than they liked standing out. What hadn’t changed was their inability to be social in situations like this. Pax just hoped their anxiety would be easy enough to handle. 

          When the tables cleared for the dance floor, Pax found it easier to disappear among the crowd. It was easier to not be around when the lights dimmed for dancing. But it was also easier for people to mingle with them. Pax found a comfortable sport on the edge of the party. Pax didn’t think there was reason to celebrate and they’d always hated that there was no practice on the days that Banquet happened. The Foxes needed the practice and they liked the routine. Though this year, Pax did more small talk than they’d done in the past year, it was still uncomfortable.

          Spotting another Fox that always seemed to sneak away, Pax made their way over. Maybe a little company in solitude would do them both good? They quietly made their way over, careful not to be seen by anyone and stopped for a conversation they were just in no mood to have. Pax tapped Brayden on the shoulder and watched as he jumped. “Sorry,” Pax started. “Do you want some company?” 

Where: Fall Exy Banquet

When: September 22, after dinner

Status: Open

Glory glowers from her where she stands alone, a pillar along the edge of the transformed court. The dress she’s wearing suits her well, the bright red that hugs her body serves as a warning sign to all those who approach her. She’d been fairly quiet during the dinner, she didn’t even trust herself to not speak out of turn, to give Grant or Coach a reason to bench her for the rest of the season. Having a member of a rival team carted away on a stretcher over an offhand comment was not the good publicity the Foxes sought. Still, antisocial behaviour was also deemed unacceptable and so the backliner forced herself to swallow a little more of the witches brew they were serving, hoping the faint alcoholic buzz would be enough to get her through this without turning it into a war zone. She tipped her chin at the body who wandered in her vicinity, shooting them an uncharacteristic smile, “Having fun yet?”

          Although Pax had never been to parties like this prior to being a Fox, they were used to the idea of social gatherings like this. They didn’t like them all that well -- too many people, too many fake niceties, too loud. Pax preferred quieter evenings where they were alone. But as much as Pax didn’t want to be here, it was part of being a Fox and being a host. They did their best to make small conversation with some of the other players that were around, trying not to get into conversations that were too deep and meaningful. Just talks about the season and Pax defending the Foxes crappy start to the season. They knew that it wasn’t acceptable to distance themself from the party the whole time, but they needed a break. Finding a place where they wouldn’t have to talk to anyone unfamiliar, Pax let out a relieved sigh. Hopefully, this would be over soon. “No. I hate talking to people,” they responded to Glory. “Can you tell I don’t want to be here or am I being fake friendly well enough?” Not that Pax wasn’t friendly on a normal basis. 

Location: Fall Banquet Hall Time: After Dinner Status: Open

Graham found that he couldn’t sit still and stare at the other teams. These banquets were usually awkward and weird but this one was especially so. During dinner, he spent his time wandering around and grabbing food whenever he could. 

Afterwards, the banquet turned into a party, but things didn’t seem to get any less awkward. Instead of wandering around some more, Graham figured he would make the best of things since they weren’t allowed to leave until everything was over with. He made his way through the dance floor and towards the area where games were set up. He eyed a ping-pong table and decided to pick up one of the rackets and balls, bouncing it up and down on the table. Even if nobody wanted to play with him, Graham would figure out a way to entertain himself.

          Honestly, Pax was uncomfortable with being at the Banquet. Dressed in a suit that looked like it was bought second hand -- because it was -- they felt uncomfortable. They hated the stares of the other players and their own teammates. Normally, they wouldn’t have been the type to advertise being a Fox because that meant people would try and talk to them, but this year Pax had worn an orange bowtie that they’d gotten over the summer. They did their best to remain calm during the banquet. Hiding out in the bathroom when they felt stressed about being around so many people. 

          When the party really got going, Pax decided to stick around the edge of the party. Clearly trying to make himself not part of the social interactions. They didn’t feel like dancing and would have loved if the whole night was over in general. But Pax couldn’t always get what they wanted. They watched others to try and find someone to talk to that maybe also didn’t want to be there. The games felt like a good spot to hang. After a few moments of being there, Pax spotted Graham walking towards the ping pong table and decided to join. “Do you mind if I join?” Pax asked.