Just end me please

World Heritage Post

I managed to listen to exactly 3 seconds of this before I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe.

my favorite line from any TV show ever is "i have unquantifiable corpses on my conscience...cup-cup dada?"

Reblog this to prove your blog was made before the February 2022 tumblr resurgence

You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

OH MY GOD I NEEDED THIS

This is amazing! I squawked like I usually do and spooked my husband!

I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

Way funnier to me than adult heroes finding out Peter is a teenager and becoming Concerned is the idea of adult heroes Retroactively finding out Peter Was a teenager because he admits to being like. 22 and they’re like “Hang on you’ve been doing this for like. Seven years.” and he’s like “Haha crazy right? Anyway it’s too late for you to yell at me about that because the statue of limitations on that lecture ran out when I turned 18”

YEAH this trope is instantly more tolerable if it’s fully adult Peter being like, *listen up whippersnappers because I’ve been around the block voice* “I’m thirty, and—” and Tony Stark, who vaguely assumed Spider-Man is maybe two years older than him because he just has that energy and hasn’t reassessed this for four presidential terms, is like, *drunkenly doing math* “You’re how many”

Okay but…them trying to talk about Old People Stuff with him, not realizing that he wasn’t alive to remember xyz thing happening, never used xyz technology bc he didn’t exist yet, not expecting him to agree with the fact that some ppl were saying songs they grew up to were oldies, etc

The thing about Peter Parker is that he was raised by senior citizens the way other heroes are raised by wolves. He has the body of an Olympic gymnast and the soul of a malcontented geriatric. This likely contributed to the perpetuation of the accidental ruse.

It’s when he channels Aunt May so hard he makes it sound like he was personally and immediately affected by McCarthyism that the time traveler fringe theory starts really picking up bets.

Peter has a lot of feelings about the woman that discovered DNA and he strikes me as the kind of person that thinks that distancing yourself from notable figures of history by using their last names is stupid, so he’s going to say something like, “Rosalind worked so fucking hard to have that work snatched from her,” immediately followed by, “I woulda thumped him good,” and inspiring Tony and Banner to frantically look through the 1930s and 40s yearbooks at King’s College and theorize which one was Spider-Man. Captain America tries reminiscing about the good ole days with him. Peter, for his part, has been absently agreeing and making vague “I’m listening” noises about the Rolling Stones and Elton John for the majority of his life, so adding baseball, Duke Ellington, and Ella Fitzgerald to the list wasn’t that much of a stretch.

There are only like three genuinely funny additions on this, but this is one of them.

“I…can’t.” “I see. That’s why it’s so important to restore voting rights to felons.”

That’s made funnier by the fact that I feel like Steve’s natural assumption would be that Spiderman’s a non-citizen, so him jumping straight to felon is like, Peter just has such strong criminal vibes.

The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack.

he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career

protect him

reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left

people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone.

This man deserves everything let him he happy

Plus, now he’s in Doom Patrol, which makes me happy af.

And let’s not forget he was probably slightly to severely dehydrated to look that buff in he first photo. And I’m so pleased he got work again he seems like a good sort, and from the stealth pilot in Titans, Doom Patrol looks like it should be good.

It shouldn’t even matter what he’s been through. Body shaming of ANYONE is wrong.

This post keeps getting better and I’m here for it

I love this whole thread

The last time I saw this it was only at the first ‘cut him some slack’ part and it just progressively gets better each time.

We support this Brendan Fraser in this home

Is My Anxiety Making My Stomach Sick or is My Sick Stomach Making Me Anxious: A Short Biography

just saw bindi irwin got engaged and apparently her fiance is american. she’s 21 and they’ve been dating for 6 years. I wonder if his family lives in aus/works in conservation because imagine just being a random 15-year-old tourist at the zoo and having a meet cute with steve irwin’s daughter lol 

apparently that’s exactly how they met. bindi just happened to be giving tours the day his family visited. love is unreal. how is this not a teen romcom yet

My favorite part of the story of how Steve and Terri met is that it was literally love at first sight. He saw her in a crowd and froze. Which was a bad thing, because he was sort of wrestling a crocodile at the time.

im she

I’m Mika.

SHE RAN AWAY IM DEAD

I am all 3 of them

me when i uncover yet another weird thing yall freaks are doing