I'm a freak by a lot of people's standards you think I'm gonna interrogate yours so I can reassure myself that I'm the morally acceptable kind of queer degenerate according to whoever the fuck? No I see that shit I'm out
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Castiel opens his eyes—normally he wouldn't need them to see, but the sigils on his collar and on the cell walls have dulled some of his senses.
The person standing outside the bars is Dean, his tormentor's son. Castiel already knew by the sound of his voice—by the warmth that is as absent from John’s voice as it is from his soul.
“I wish you ate,” Dean says, gripping the bars and staring dolefully inside Castiel's prison. “Wish there was something I could bring you.”
Castiel doesn't answer. Doesn't know what he'd reply, even if the collar hadn't taken away his voice. While Dean is a far better man than his father, he is also complicit in Castiel’s imprisonment.
Maybe Castiel would make his ears bleed.
“God.” Dean's head bows. “I don't know what Dad's thinking, keeping you locked up like this. It's not right. I—” His chest expands, and he looks around as if checking to see if John might overhear. “I'd set you free if I could,” he murmurs, eyes shuttered, and he reaches a hand inside the bars as if he doesn't even mean to do it—as if his soul is simply reaching out for Castiel's grace.
It's careless. Dean is close enough that Castiel could tear his arm off if he wanted; he may be shackled to the wall by his collar, but his hands are free.
The same thought seems to occur to Dean. His breath hitches, but he doesn't pull away when Castiel slowly raises his own hand to touch another living being for the first time in the five years since he was imprisoned here.
Foolish. Dean is a fool to trust Castiel like this.
Castiel is a fool not to maim him.
“Wish I knew what you were thinking,” Dean says softly. “The way you look at me, I swear sometimes it feels like you want to either smite me or fuck me.” He glances down at the place where Castiel's vessel's penis rests, soft between his thighs, and smiles ruefully. “Probably smite me, huh?”
Castiel should want to smite him. Dean is hardly free of guilt; he could unlock Castiel's cell and his collar anytime he wanted, and he continually chooses not to. And yet… Dean is just a son duty-bound to his father, like Castiel used to be—before his father proved he didn't care enough about Castiel to release him from captivity.
“Would you?” Dean asks, eyes searching Castiel's. “Smite me? If I set you free?”
Castiel does no more than drop his gaze to their joined hands, but Dean still nods as if he can gather Castiel's answer just from that. Perhaps something in his expression gave him away, some softness he didn't intend to show.
“And… what about Dad? Would you smite him?”
This time, Castiel offers only a hard stare, and Dean sighs and scrubs his face with his free hand.
“Look, I get it, I do. God knows he'd deserve it for what he's doing to you. But I—”
Castiel hears the end to the unfinished sentence—I can't be the cause of my father's death.
It is not a disappointment. Dean has not set Castiel free thus far, and he was under no illusion that he would do so now. Hope will do him no good in this place where even God has forsaken him.
He regards Dean, sees the regret on his face, and squeezes his hand out of some inexplicable impulse. It pleases him when it makes Dean gaze into his eyes.
“Cas,” Dean says, voice raw with some emotion Castiel cannot decipher. “Can I—is it okay if I come in?”
Dean is a well of surprises. Every time Castiel thinks he's beginning to understand the man, he proves him wrong—like the first time he received a prayer from Dean, showing him images of the world outside this prison and telling him about his day and the state of the world. Keeping him company, even when he couldn't visit.
Castiel releases Dean's hand and stands back, giving permission to enter. He's not stupid enough to think this represents an opportunity to escape—Dean will hardly be carrying the collar key with him—but it is something new and different, and he welcomes it. Welcomes Dean's presence.
“Hey there,” Dean says again once he's inside, his back pressed to the bars—a little afraid, perhaps, his pupils consuming most of the green in his eyes. “This is stupid,” he says, licking his lips, and it’s hard to tell if he's talking to Castiel or to himself. “I'm being stupid. You're a frickin’ A-bomb with a collar and you don't even talk, I don't even know if—I mean, it's probably sacrilegious of me to think that we have some kind of… connection, right?”
It probably is.
Castiel doesn't care much about sacrilege anymore.
He reaches out again, stopping short of touching Dean thanks to his chain, and Dean's eyelashes flutter and cast shadows over his cheekbones. “I really hope you're not going to kill me,” he mutters—and takes a step forward.
Trust.
Castiel has never known trust before. He has known faith, devotion, obedience, but not trust.
Castiel's hand—the one he now touches to Dean's chest, where his heart is beating wildly underneath layers of fabric—could easily crush him.
And yet.
Dean trusts.
Castiel marvels at it, and at the warmth and the pulse of life underneath his splayed fingers.
He explores further, moves his hand up until it encounters skin at the base of Dean's neck, and he presses his thumb into the spot where he once again can feel the rhythm of Dean's blood pumping through his veins.
“Cas,” Dean gasps, leaning into it rather than away from it—trusting again—and letting his eyes flutter closed.
Perhaps Dean is not foolish for trusting him after all; Castiel cannot find within himself a desire to harm Dean, only to feel him, know him.
Dean's lips, when his fingers move there next, part on a shaky exhale. His breath, warm and humid, brings unfamiliar sensations to Castiel's fingertips, and sensing no resistance from Dean he lets them dip inside.
Softness is a foreign thing for Castiel after spending years in this dungeon. His collar is steel, the floor and the walls of his cell cold, unforgiving stone.
Dean's tongue is velvet.
It flexes and gives under Castiel's fingers, shaping itself to them and sucking them deeper, and Castiel feels something—something in between sensation and emotion. Dean is beautiful like this, eyes closed as if in prayer, and his eyes blink open slowly when Castiel withdraws his fingers.
“Cas,” Dean says, looking as entranced as Castiel feels—and then the heavy clang of the dungeon door makes him jump back, eyes wide with panic.
“Get out of there, Dean.” John's voice is a steel blade, and Castiel can see the moment it cuts into Dean. Still, he remains where he is, helplessly staring at Castiel until—
“Dean! You deaf, boy?” John barks, and finally Dean slinks out of the cell and closes the door behind him, head bowed.
“Out. I'll deal with you later.” John doesn't even offer his son a look as he stalks toward the cell, which means only Castiel sees the forlorn look on his face before he turns away.
The dungeon door announces Dean's departure, and John steps up to the bars.
Castiel wants to kill him. Wants to say, Your son's saliva is still drying on my fingers.
Thanks to the cold metal around his neck, he can do neither.
“I don't know what the hell kinda mojo you used on Dean,” John says icily, “but he won't be coming down here anymore. This is the last time you've seen him.”
And then he turns on his heel and marches out and leaves Castiel in his cell—chained and alone and colder than he has felt in a long time.
Just a casual reminder that posting on the internet about how you would want to do physical harm to members of the US government is something that they can (and will) detain you over, so just be careful what you say in public spaces like, uh, on Tumblr.
this is your semi-regular reminder that tumblr has cooperated with the fbi to hand over user information in a very public way at least once. and that's not the only way the feds can collect information on you either
the us government can issue a special type of subpoena which comes with a gag order. a company who receives one legally must hand over the requested information (“only” metadata, which is typically more than enough to identify a specific user), and they are prohibited from even admitting that they received the subpoena.
a little over a decade ago, there was a big trend in the tech industry to add warrant canaries. the idea is that they may be able to stop you from saying when you’ve received a secret warrant, but they can’t stop you from saying when you haven’t received one. so a bunch of tech companies put language on their website about how they’d never received one of these subpoenas, with the implication being that when that statement disappeared, you would know that they’d gotten one.
before being bought by automattic, tumblr published semiannual privacy reports at https://www.tumblr.com/transparency. the july–december 2015 report is the last to include a canary. the january–june 2016 report says that they received between less than 250 “national security requests”, a category which includes these secret warrants but is not necessarily limited to them.
automattic now just straight up tells you how many warrants with a non-disclosure order tumblr receives, so maybe the government doesn’t include the “you can’t even admit you’ve received one” order any more. or maybe these are just the ones they’re allowed to talk about. (the “non-disclosure” part can also refer to a prohibition on telling affected users that tumblr gave their data to the government)
this is also not the only way the feds can collect information on you.
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Somebody at work keeps adjusting one of the perimeter cameras to have this beautiful artistic angle on the museum in a historical building across the way. The sun sets just behind it and the whole sky turns golden-blue, clouds streaked across the sky above. The lush tree line beneath the museum is perfectly lined up along the rule of thirds and the building itself towers above, almost mythical in its evening glory. Like damn, take a still from this camera and send it to the museum to frame and hang on their wall. I do need the camera to be pointing at the parking lot. Tho
The setting sun bounces off the skyscrapers downtown and hits the museum's windows and every one of them turns the same golden hue as the sky behind, reflected in the trees just starting to turn golden-orange beneath. The bottoms of the clouds take on the slightest tinge of purple and birds circle above, speckling the evening sky as they call autumn's last farewell. Someone's car got broken into in the parking lot last week, Tammy, point the damn camera at the cars
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Person: "Hello sir." he pets the frog with one finger.
Person: "Have a good day. Actually wait a minute. You missed a bug, but I got you home boy. Hold on." he picks a bug up and throws it next to the frog.
Frog: turns around and eats the bug.
Person: "OHHHHH-" sings high pitched and angelic like he witnessed a miracle.
Love it when people in political discussions treat "this will cause millions of deaths" as a definitionally absurd, hyperbolic argument and not a thing that actually happens and has happened many times in the past and is in fact currently happening in many parts of the world. Like yeah, that's politics. That's statecraft. That's what the stakes are. Didn't you know?
tragic. they found an angel stcuk tangled in the telephone wires outsside your house. sorruy. yeah we dont know how to get it out cus anyone who approached the divine light of their holy aura got obliterated. yeah we forgot their names. it'll probably get free sooner or later. dont go outside
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There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"
The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.
We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...
Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food service worker talking about their actual week.