Floating around in ecstasy

Miss Mania, I know we might seem annoying to you but try sugarcoating so words don’t seem quite as harsh… Anyway, thanks. I’ll try to remember that advice. So, uh, when will Ria be back in? Not that you’re not… decent and all.

Hm. I’m slightly insulted but i’ll let it slide. Are you the one that was dead for eighty years? Ria should be back in a few days. I hope I’ll be by the beginning of next week. I don’t really want to hear about everyone’s weekend. 

Aren’t you basically immortal? Why is there a time limit on these sessions? It’s not like you have to rush to live your life to the fullest or anything. Ria is so much better at the counseling thing than you, no offense. And hey, it’s not like I want to be here. It was just “highly recommended”, after the quests.

See, the thing is, I’m usually off doing better things but Ria is my bro and had something to take care of. You’re not the only one having a session today. Gods, I swear, it’s like none of you bother to think at all. If you’re not going to appreciate the fact that I bothered to show up and kind of tried, get out before I turn your brain into mush. For our next session, bring offerings and a three page apology.

What, am I supposed to figure out how to not be stupid on my own? I wasn’t even aware that that was the problem. How am I supposed to figure out how to stop? 

You just stop doing what you normally do since that none of it seems to have worked out so far...And drink more tequila. For some reason, everyone think alcohol makes you do idiotic things, but it reveals what the soul wants once you’re feeling like shit and throwing up into the toilet. Once good ol’ tequila has reveled to you the secrets of life, you do what you have to do and be happy. If the thing you think is going to make you happy complicates life even more, then it was never going to truly make you happy and it’s better to drop it sooner in life. Move on to better things. Aren’t you part Athena? Figure this shit out on your own, geez. 

…….No offense, but Ria way better at this advice stuff.

No offense, but you’re an ugly half human so no one cares about your opinion.

But unless I’m “stupid” how am I supposed to learn?

If you’re not stupid you won’t have to learn from anything because you’ll already know. Wow, I don’t know how Ria deals with all of you.

So, that kid just left looking like they were maybe going to cry. Are you sure you’ve got this? Don’t need any… extra help? Maybe I could take a shift for you, or something.

Why would I need help? Are you trying to say I’m not good at this? Do you think a mortal like you will do a better job than me? For your information, they’re crying because they really let it all out, which is the point of all of this. Now, if you don’t leave my sight within the next five seconds, I will deteriorate your brain.

Are you crying? Are those tears? Ew. EW. That is disgusting please get out. Grab a margarita on the way out, you’ll feel better.

In fact she did. Tooth Fairy too. Of course not anymore now that I realize the concept of all of them is kind of bizarre. 

Why would your mother lie to you about such creepy conpects? Does she not love you?

Unfortunately not. I’m one of the many children of Hermes. You don’t really look old enough to be my Mother anyways. 

Oh, Hermes.