Pssst….I love you. Remember that

But it’s like. All the time. If Robby sighs weirdly Dennis is all up in his face. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Did I do something to upset you? Can I make it better?”

Robby tries to get up to go do something so simple - piss, grab a drink, a book- and Dennis sits upright on the couch and asks “Where are you going? What are you doing?” And if he decides it’s too far he will accompany Robby to the bathroom to chatter about whatever random thing he was doing on the couch or thinking about.

Life360 lovers. Dennis texting Robby about charging his phone, going the speed limit, you’ve been at the store 12 minutes longer than normal is everything okay?

Dennis waking up from a nap in the bedroom and huffs and puffs all the way to the kitchen where Robby is starting on dinner, leaning all over his space, arms wrapped around Robby’s waist and face buried in his back “I was so cold :( and lonely :( and horny :( and you didn’t even leave a note :(”

And OH BOY does Robby have to leave notes. Everywhere. On everything. Just little “I love you” ones “have a good day” “be good for me” and Dennis melts when he finds them.

It’s codependent in a way that works for them. Dennis and his fear of being not enough for someone, being alone. Robby and his need to be needed for every little thing. Like when Dennis holds up his water bottle even though Robby was just in the kitchen but he still gets up to go refill it. Robby needs to run stupid errands and Dennis is right there in the front seat fucking with the music and begging him to pull over for a sweet treat and Robby makes reckless driving moves to get his boy that limited edition bullshit from wherever he wants.

Even in the ED. “Where’s Robby?“ “Not sure. Ask Dennis” and vice versa because those two KNOW the general area their lover was last in.

Clingy clingy Dennis pulling Robby in deeper as he fucks him, sobbing about “Need you closer, need to feel it, need to feel you everywhere please” and Robby needs to mark his boy up so there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind, including Dennis’s, who he belongs to.

- *** -

It took three agonizing rounds for them to get to the final. But Eddie knew all the questions, even the odd and tricky ones, and shot them out as if reading them straight out of a book. Amused, Billy watched Eddie roll his eyes and yawn as the other participants struggled to answer correctly.

“This is Jimmy Fast Hands on WSQK, and it’s time for the finale of Rock Trivia!” the DJ shouted on the radio. “The moment has come to find out who is the Rock Trivia Master of Hawkins! Are you ready?”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie muttered, shaking his head and holding his hand on the receiver.

Billy snickered at Eddie’s antics. “You seem very confident today.”

“Yeah, well, this is my field. Kinda can be.”

“Not like anyone else can know all that shit.”

Eddie shrugged. “What can I say? I’m special like that.”

“Okay, first question,” the DJ started, “What The Scorpions was named when it was first formed?”

Eddie grinned. “The Nameless.”

“That’s correct! Next one: Which member of Mötley Crüe came up with the name for the band?

Eddie looked at his fingers with a bored expression. “Mick Mars,” he sighed into the phone.

“Oh, impressive! Alright, here’s the last one. Are you ready?”

Sighing, as if this was a drag, Eddie replied, “Yes!”

“I hope this isn’t too difficult. I for sure didn’t know the answer to this one. Where and when was Def Leppard formed?”

For the first time during the whole trivia tournament, Eddie didn’t look confident.

Billy’s stomach dropped. He’d gotten hopeful, grown used to Eddie knowing all the answers, and now—

Eddie grinned, knowing what he’d just done. “Sheffield, England. 1977,” Eddie said, checking his nails.

There was a silence on the radio for a moment, then a loud hurrah and applause went off in the tinny speaker on the table.

“That’s the correct answer! You’ve just won tickets to see Mötley Crüe, Scorpions, and Def Leppard live in Indianapolis next month!”

After that, neither Eddie nor Billy heard anything the DJ said. They were too busy yelling and bumping fists in the air for that.

“We fucking won!” Eddie yelled, playing a riff on an air guitar, pretending the phone receiver was its neck.

Billy grinned wide at Eddie’s enthusiasm. “Just stay on the line, dumbass, so that they’ll get your address to mail the tickets to.”

“Oh, right,” Eddie said, a blush dusting his cheeks, and raised the receiver back to his ear.

Billy leaned his shoulder against the wall next to Eddie. He reached out and grabbed the chain hanging from Eddie’s belt, tugging it lightly.

It made Eddie look up and smile a cute smile.

The heat that crept up from his neck made Billy suddenly self-conscious. Jesus. Cute. What the actual fuck was going on with him?

- *** -

Light filtered through the Dio flag covering the window and leaving the room in husky dusk, created by the smoke billowing above the bed.

Eddie was lying down, his legs crossed and one hand under his pillow, the other holding up the joint for Billy.

Billy was sitting next to him, his legs crossed in the lotus position, biting his nails.

Eddie glanced up at him when he didn’t take the joint. He brushed Billy’s arm with the back of his hand, gesturing for him to take a hit. “You went all quiet, Blue. What’s up?”

Billy took a drag of the joint, letting the smoke sit in his lungs before answering. He’d said nothing about it to anyone. But Eddie…he was someone Billy could always talk to about anything. And he could talk to Eddie about anything, and Eddie would listen intently and ask relevant questions—like one does when they’re paying attention.

The record player stopped, and they were left in silence.

Eddie kept watching Billy, not letting his gaze fall from his eyes, even though they still hadn’t put clothes back on and Billy’s tits were Eddie’s favorite toy immediately after his guitar. His hand brushed Billy’s arm, comforting him.

Billy had never spoken about his dad to anyone. So, mentioning it to Eddie had been a no-go from the beginning. Except now the mood was right, Billy felt safe and everything—and it just slipped out. “You were right about last week. About who did it,” he whispered.

Eddie frowned. “The bruises? Wow.” Eddie was quiet for a moment, contemplating. Then he snorted.

Billy frowned. “What’s funny?”

“Look at us. Two suckers, with a piece of shit as dad and both stuck in Hawkins.”

Billy’s posture went rigid, the joint forgotten. “What do you mean?” Billy asked, his tone not warm.

“It’s true, isn’t it?”

Billy’s mind darkened. “What the fuck do you mean, Munson? Are you saying that I’m a pathetic loser who’ll never get out of here?”

Eddie looked up at Billy, baffled. “Wait, what? No, I didn’t mean it like that—”

Billy huffed, annoyed, and crawled out of the bed.

“Hey, what are you—where are you going?”

Billy had already gotten his leather jacket on and was pulling on his jeans, his shirt shoved in the jacket pocket.

“Blue? What did I say?”

“Y’know,” Billy snarled as he pulled on his boots, “I thought you were different.”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Eddie yelped and jumped up from the bed the moment Billy yanked the door open and followed him, buck naked as Billy stomped towards the front door.

“You have no idea what I’m capable of,” Billy spat over his shoulder.

“I know, Billy, please come back,” Eddie pleaded.

Billy stepped down the few steps and pushed the front door open

“No, nononono Billy, please, you’re—I just…” Eddie finally reached Billy and grabbed his arm.

- * -

Billy turned around, crowding Eddie’s space—and Eddie knew he’d screwed up.

Big time.

A tight, painful knot formed in Eddie’s throat. He’d screwed up. He was smart enough not to look at Billy in the eyes but just down under his eyes, at his cheeks, counting all the freckles that were peppered all over his face. Desperately hoping this wouldn’t be the last time he’d be this close to them.

Billy’s ocean eyes had turned into hard, frozen glazier. “Stay the fuck away from me, Munson,” Billy seethed right in Eddie’s face. “I’m not a fucking loser like you.”

Eddie was pursing his lips together and flinched when Billy slammed the Camaro door closed harder than necessary. The car roared to life, gravel hitting the wall of the trailer as it sped away.

- *** -

Eddie had tried to get Billy alone, even if just for a moment, just to apologize. But Billy had just walked past him, as if he was air. Eddie knew he couldn’t call, Billy had forbidden him from doing that. And since the bruises were done by Billy’s dad—yeah, Eddie didn’t want to give Billy’s old man any ideas.

Eddie got the silent treatment from Billy, and time moved on. First a week, then a second, not a word, not a peep.

Eddie had tried leaving notes on Billy’s windshield wipers, messages passed through Dustin to Max to Billy—all as useless.

Eddie had already almost given up on the idea of them ever going to the concert together. But he hadn’t thrown the tickets away either, still hoping for a miracle. Even though he for sure had used the last of his luck to get the tickets.

Which was why he almost missed Max’s words as she passed him in the cafeteria. “Pick him up at Benny’s at five.”

“Huh?”

“Benny’s at five,” Dustin repeated. “What’s at Benny’s at five? I thought we had a campaign to play tonight.”

Eddie’s eyes grew wide as he realized what had just happened. “Holy shit, shit shit shit,” he cursed as he scrambled up. “Hey! Max! Wait up!”

“But what about tonight?” Dustin asked, concerned more about the game than anything else. “And how do you know Max?”

“Raincheck,” Eddie said quickly, grabbed his things and ran after Max.

“So, hey, Max,” Eddie started as he tried to follow her down the hallway, dodging other students while trying to keep up with her. “Anything else in the message?”

“No,” she stated flatly as they arrived at her locker and she opened it.

Eddie leaned closer, trying to keep anyone else from hearing. “Uh, so, he said nothing else?”

She slammed the locker door shut and looked at him, exasperated. “I would’ve said so if there were.”

Eddie didn’t know if she knew of his and Billy’s relationship, so he tried not to pry too much—but couldn’t fight it. “Has he been talking about me?”

Max frowned, then her eyes narrowed—and Eddie realized he’d gone too far, again. “Why?”

For the millionth time, Eddie cursed his mouth that just had to go the extra mile by itself. “Uh, no reason. I’ll be at Benny’s at five,” he said quickly and turned back towards the wing where his next lesson was about to be.

- * -

Eddie was at Benny’s at 4:40 pm. Just in case, because he usually was late. And today he did not want to be late.

Half a cigarette carton plus the fashionable five minutes later, Billy finally parked his Camaro in the diner’s parking lot.

There was a pit in Eddie’s stomach he’d tried to will away the whole afternoon. At least he had this chance to try to fix things.

Eddie waved awkwardly, but Billy didn’t even glance at him, just stalked straight to the passenger side of the van and hopped in.

Eddie hung his head, looking at the smoke in his hand that was more ash than anything else at that point, and felt the cruel pang of disappointment in his chest. He’d been stupid to hope that something would’ve changed.

Billy’s feet were up on the dashboard, his arms crossed and whole body angled away towards the door as much as possible while having the seat belt on.

For a long time, they drove in silence. Eddie gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned white, tried to come up with something to talk but Billy just wouldn’t bite. Instead, Billy chain-smoked, lighting another cigarette almost immediately after stubbing the previous one.

The smoke was thick as a wall, not allowing space for any conversation between them.

Finally, after having enough of it all, Eddie turned on the radio—and the car filled with Foreigner’s ‘I Want to Know What Love Is’.

“I'm gonna take a little time

A little time to look around me

I've got nowhere left to hide

It looks like love has finally found me”

Eddie chanced a glance at Billy from the corner of his eye.

Instead of staring through the side window, Billy was looking straight ahead, biting his nail, the smoke in his other hand forgotten.

“I wanna know what love is

I want you to show me

I wanna feel what love is

I know you can show me”

The words formed a knot in Eddie’s chest. He missed Billy. The one thing he’d missed about being with Billy most was not the sex, while of course that came as a close second. He’d missed most of just talking with Billy. Talking about music, about books—Jesus, Billy had read so many—and just about everything. Billy was an asshole, but Eddie had to admit that he wasn’t any better himself. Yet, with Billy he wanted to be an ass far less than with many others.

The thought of him maybe being in love flashed through his mind.

Jesus. Love. What had become of Eddie Munson?

When the song ended and another began, Eddie thought that this could be the right moment to apologize. “Hey, um, I’ve been thinking—” he started, but Billy interrupted him by leaning forward and turning up the volume loud enough that Eddie couldn’t even think straight.

Message received, loud and clear.

The rest of the drive to the concert was silent and icy cold.

- *** -

Apart from Eddie muttering to himself and cursing the traffic out loud from time to time, the drive had been quiet after Billy shut down Eddie’s try to talk.

Even though Billy wanted to stay angry at Eddie, he had to glue his eyes to the side window from time to time in order to keep himself from bursting into laughter at Eddie’s creative curses he laid out for the drivers who cut in on them on the highway.

But he still hadn’t forgiven Eddie, even though Eddie had said it already in so many ways in his tries to apologize, both with notes and in person. (“Hey so—” “What do you want me to s—” “Sorry,” all said quickly in passing, quiet enough for only Billy to hear).

But now, here, it was hard for him to ignore Eddie anymore. The walk from the van forced them to join the mass of people heading to the stadium. Billy could sense the electric tension lingering all around, it was infectious.

A girl with long blond hair and black lipstick asked Eddie for a light, and they engaged in conversation about Dio.

Billy’s hands clenched into tight fists. He could talk about Dio too, why didn’t Eddie talk to him? Why was this bitch trying to chat Eddie up?

He tried to remind himself that he was still angry at Eddie, of what he’d said that night, but somehow now, surrounded by all these people, it wasn’t as easy to pull that blanket of hurt around him as it had been back home.

Eddie was an idiot, but he was Billy’s idiot, goddammit.

Billy placed his arm around Eddie’s shoulders. “So, what’s it like to get to see a band with tickets you won yourself?” he asked, butting into the conversation.

Eddie slowly looked at Billy, his eyes comically wide, which was a sight in itself. “Um…” he started, then cleared his throat. “I, uh, great?”

“You won the tickets?” the girl asked, awe in her voice.

“Yeah, for me,” Billy said smugly. “He didn’t even want to come here. Had to force him.”

The girl smiled. “You sure ain’t sorry now, I bet,” she cooed at Eddie. “My seat is somewhere high up in the back. But maybe afterwards we could—”

Billy cut her short, feigning disappointed. “Well, too bad, our spot is in the barrier in front of the stage. Bye.” He pulled Eddie with him to the line that led them to the field section, leaving the girl standing behind.

When they stopped at the line to wait to get through security, Eddie spoke. “So, does this mean we’re speaking again?” he asked hopefully.

“Wasn’t talking to you,” Billy muttered. When Eddie looked away, the corners of his mouth turning down, Billy’s chest tightened. He lit himself a smoke. Why the fuck was this so hard?

Eddie laughed and spread his hands in the air theatrically. “Of course.” He let out a bitter laugh. “What was I thinking.” He glared at Billy and snatched the smoke from Billy’s hand.

Knowing better than to smoke it all, he gave it back after taking a drag.

The moment they got out of the security check, they both started running. They weren’t the only ones, and Billy’s competitiveness took over. He’d never been the fastest runner, but what he lacked in speed, he made up in muscle, pushing through whoever got in his way.

Behind him, Eddie was laughing. The real one, loud and relaxed. Happy.

And it was contagious. Exhilaration filled Billy as they approached the barrier.

Once they reached it, Billy gripped it hard, stopping the motion with a thud. He couldn’t stop himself from laughing.

Out of an old habit, he looked at Eddie next to him.

Eddie must’ve felt Billy’s gaze on him, and he looked back at Billy carefully with a small smile, hope painted across his face. The smile spread wider, and something in Billy’s chest loosened. Not entirely, but a notch.

Billy turned his gaze away. He still couldn’t quite let go of the hurt. It used to be so easy for them to do anything. He missed it. He knew he was the reason for the distance, and for a beat he thought how he could just let go, but…he clenched his jaw. No.

When the crowd started to pack behind them, they were forced to stand closer. Eddie was pressing against the back of Billy’s arm, warm and taut. Billy didn’t pull himself away.

First Def Leppard finished their set, then Mötley Crüe.

During both sets, they’d just bobbed their heads to the music, absorbing the energy from the crowd and the electricity of the music.

But they were here for the last act.

Finally, the stage went dark again. Yellow lights cast through the thick cloud of smoke, slowly turning green. The first guitar scream of Bad Boys Running Wild hit the air, making the crowd shout wildly—and then the band was on the stage.

Billy shouted all the way from the bottom of his lungs. He’d waited to see Scorpions for so long and now the band was right in front of him—and Eddie jumping and whooping behind him.

It was the best.

Billy felt safe. He let the music surround him, let himself forget everything and just be present, the music taking over.

He shouted and whooped throughout the concert, sang all the lyrics he knew, and didn’t even notice himself pressing against Eddie.

And when Rock You Like A Hurricane came on as the last song of the set, Billy instinctively turned to Eddie with a wide grin—and Eddie was beaming at him.

Billy reached out his hand, taking Eddie’s in his, and squeezed.

It was the best day ever.

- *** -

After the concert, there was a queue of waiting cars snaking to the tiny gate at the very end of the massive parking lot, releasing cars one by one onto the road that already had heavy traffic.

“Man, we should’ve just waited. We’re gonna get outta here tomorrow at this rate,” Eddie muttered. His hand was still tingling from Billy’s hand in his, hidden down between them in the crowd during Rock You Like A Hurricane, and he just wanted to get them somewhere alone. Somewhere where no one could see when he poured his heart out.

He glanced at Billy, who was smoking and looking out the side window. The sporadic light from the lamps of the lot and other cars painted the outline of his profile into the smoke billowing around him. The sight twisted Eddie’s insides. How could’ve he been so stupid.

But he was also angry at Billy, who just wouldn’t listen before.

Man, talking about the power of music. It literally made Billy touch him again.

A small smile curled on his lips as the line moved forward one more car length.

“So, who was better? Schenker or Jabs?” he asked.

Billy rolled his eyes. “I really don’t care,” he said as he took a drag of his smoke. “It’s called a band because it needs all the members. They make the music, not just one guitarist.”

Eddie sniffed, feigning disappointment, even though butterflies were swarming in his stomach. “You clearly lack an understanding of the significance of the lead guitar to the music.”

Billy snorted. “Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. And don’t even start with Steve Clark or Mick Mars. I don’t want to hear you blab about their technique for the rest of the drive.”

Eddie couldn’t help grinning. He also couldn’t come up with anything else to say. He knew what he wanted to say, but he didn’t want to break this fragile truce. This fragile feeling of normalcy he’d so waited for, hoping it would return one day.

But the closer to the Hawkins city line they came, the silence between turned heavier and heavier.

At times Eddie felt Billy’s eyes on his temple, but when he glanced back, not wanting to take his eyes off the road too long, Billy turned his gaze to the windshield or leaned his head to the passenger side window.

Finally, the lights of the van hit the Welcome to Hawkins sign—and Eddie knew now was the last moment to do something, anything, if he wanted to fix things. The moment he’d park on the lot next to Billy’s car, Billy would drive away and never be seen again.

At that moment, Steve Perry’s crooning came louder on the radio:

“Right down the line,

It’s been you and me

And lovin' a music man

ain't always what it's supposed to be”

Eddie didn’t hesitate. He pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned it off, gripping the wheel, the music filling the quiet cabin.

Eddie heard Billy shuffling in his seat.

The song went on.

“Oh, girl, you stand by me,

I'm forever yours

Faithfully”

Eddie swallowed and looked at Billy. He couldn’t see in the dark, but he hoped the glacier blue of his eyes had melted into the warmer shade of the Pacific Ocean. The one Eddie loved so much.

“Circus life under the big-top world

We all need the clowns to make us smile”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say it that way,” Eddie started, rambling, the speed of his words picking up with each one. “I was a fucking idiot. I know you want to get out of Hawkins and away from your old man and, and, and I—I’m jealous that you have plans and goals and soon you have the means too—” He waved his hands vaguely in the air as his lower lip started wobbling. “And then you’ll leave and, and I’ll still be here. Like a loser. But that’s fine. I’m used to that. It’s not like my dream of becoming a rockstar will ever come true anyway, not in a hicktown like Hawkins.” He had to pause to swallow the tears. “The worst will be that I’ll be here without you. But I would never tell you to stay because of me, I couldn’t imagine keeping you away from your dreams—”

Billy cut Eddie’s words in half with a sudden, bruising kiss.

Eddie’s shoulders sagged, the tension that had gathered there for weeks finally being released as he melted into the kiss. Only Billy’s hands on his cheeks, their lips locked together. The clocks stopped ticking, only this moment existing, stretching.

“Two strangers learn to fall in love again

I get the joy of rediscovering you"

When Billy pulled back from the kiss, he left Eddie to chase after him—only to be jerked back to his seat by the seatbelt. “Oh, fuck!” he yelped.

Billy let out a bright laugh. The rare genuine kind, Eddie’s favourite.

Eddie couldn’t help laughing himself as he fought with the belt, trying to free himself, but it refused to budge.

Billy reached out to open the lock, still chuckling. “Idiot,” he muttered affectionately.

Eddie grinned and swiftly moved to the passenger side, Billy pulling him onto his lap.

The cabin was quiet apart from Cain still singing somewhere in the background, the dash lights painting the empty driver’s seat with a pale light.

Billy was holding Eddie in his lap, his hands on Eddie’s hips. They were an inch apart, noses almost brushing, when Eddie spoke.

He brushed Billy’s cheek with the back of his fingers. “I’m sorry,” he breathed.

Something wet fell on his fingers. Tears.

“Hey, Blue, don’t cry.”

Billy let out a shaky breath. “Missed you,” he whispered.

“Yeah, me too,” Eddie said, and leaned in to kiss Billy softly.

Billy’s response soon turned more intense, his hands grabbing Eddie’s ass. “Will take you with me to fucking LA so you can become a rockstar.”

Eddie chuckled. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. to get you shut your mouth about who’s the better guitarist. Because you’ll kick all of their asses.”

“I'm forever yours