Straight from the Wax museum

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

its not funny

sorry

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

i wish shapes were like bugs and you could just get like a circle infestation in your house or something. fuck ive got bed triangles fuuuck. this could solve everything

Ok but why are the suckers and losers trying to kill me today

Breaking news all sports indefinitely cancelled because we have lost tbe ball

Man this store has a weird playlist, it's all Weird Al songs but with the lyrics switched out for ones that aren't funny.

fascinated by jeff the killer tbh. everyone in that creepypasta has generic white usamerican names (jeff, keith, barbara, billy, etc.) except for jeff the killer's doe eyed little brother liu. why is he liu. is liu chinese? it's okay if he's chinese. is jeff also chinese? has jeff the killer been chinese this whole time? am I a bad person?

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

You can lie when you name things

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle