Marvin the Paranoid Android

SUMMARY: Constantine’s out. He’s done with the occult and he’s done with magic. But when the most ancient threat to humanity steps out from the pages of legend, John finds that maybe the occult isn’t quite as done with him. And maybe, just maybe, John doesn’t have as much of a problem with that as he thinks.

CHARACTERS/PAIRING: John Constantine/OC (nonbinary)

WORD COUNT: 973

WARNINGS: Depictions of smoking

A/N: In which a basement gremlin rewrites biblical lore and ends up technically committing blasphemy in an enemies to lovers (possible) longfic.

Fire flared up from the ancient, dented lighter, creating curling smoke from where tobacco glowed.

“Listen, mate, I already told you: I’m done with that business.” Constantine took another drag of his cigarette. “You’re not goin’ to be able to just flash me somethin’ shiny and think it’ll pull me back in again all easy-like.”

Chaz rolled his eyes at the words. “I’m not saying you have to come out of retirement, John. I’m just saying you have a knack for finding trouble, and we need to find it. Fast. Signs are pointing toward us not having much time left before this demon or whatever shows up and all hell breaks loose.”

“I’m not runnin’ around lettin’ some demon get a whiff of me. That’s practically beggin’ to let the occult barge right back into me life. Now, you can grab a beer and stay for the match and not bring up anymore talk o’ demon hunting,” Constantine nudged the cooler by his feet toward his oldest friend, “or you can kindly fuck right off.”

How many other CEOs are out here being as honest and transparent with their target audience/market as Sam Reich is? How many of them acknowledge when they fumble and continuously strive to be better than they were? How many of them actually seem like they respect their talent, both in the cast and crew? Sam Reich is the standard we should be holding other CEOs to.

But forget about all that (I could talk for a long time about the respect I have for Sam Reich)—ignore just how respectable he is as a businessman and a person. Ignore all the wholesome reasons for obsessing over Sam Dalton Reich.

The man is a stone-cold fox.

He's a little chaos gremlin and an absolute evil mastermind all rolled into one classy suit and well-groomed beard. Whenever Sam is on the set, you can guarantee he is going to make you crack a smile. And for someone with such natural authority, he's never afraid to be the butt of a joke and show himself being embarrassed. Go ahead, watch any clip of him trying to improvise in No Laugh Newsroom and just try to resist that blush.

You're sleeping on a goldmine of a man, here, damnit! And I will NOT let this go ignored any longer!

On it, boss!

How many other CEOs are out here being as honest and transparent with their target audience/market as Sam Reich is? How many of them acknowledge when they fumble and continuously strive to be better than they were? How many of them actually seem like they respect their talent, both in the cast and crew? Sam Reich is the standard we should be holding other CEOs to.

But forget about all that (I could talk for a long time about the respect I have for Sam Reich)—ignore just how respectable he is as a businessman and a person. Ignore all the wholesome reasons for obsessing over Sam Dalton Reich.

The man is a stone-cold fox.

He's a little chaos gremlin and an absolute evil mastermind all rolled into one classy suit and well-groomed beard. Whenever Sam is on the set, you can guarantee he is going to make you crack a smile. And for someone with such natural authority, he's never afraid to be the butt of a joke and show himself being embarrassed. Go ahead, watch any clip of him trying to improvise in No Laugh Newsroom and just try to resist that blush.

You're sleeping on a goldmine of a man, here, damnit! And I will NOT let this go ignored any longer!

The bug was later fixed by defining the active spacecraft itself as the origin of the game's coordinate system. In effect, the spacecraft no longer moves; instead, the spacecraft remains stationary and the entire universe moves around it. Owing to how relativity works, to the player this is indistinguishable from the spacecraft moving about within a fixed coordinate system, and it ensures that the body of the craft and its components will always be modelled with maximal precision.

While elegant, this solution introduced a new problem: it was now possible, by doing certain stupid tricks with relativistic velocities, to introduce floating point rounding errors to everything except the active spacecraft. In extreme cases, this could result in the destruction of the entire observable universe.