Just a Fire Flower

Me, after coming out of a decade of depression

i wanna take your clothes off… ;) and then replace them with something else because that outfit is ugly as hell

wait, “if karl marx was real”…. is he… made up?

cryptid

just to avoid accidentally using offensive language i’m going to start using 90s surfer dude slang because inadvertently offending someone is totally bogus dude

people might not want to be called dude

you are radically right and that is so not tubular my friend i apologise

I find your poor grammar and spelling to be offensive to my eyes.

watch me catch this gnarly wave of i don’t care

i honestly have no idea why anyone would ever want to be a famous celebrity or an “““influencer””” for a career in today's world because i, speaking as the dumbest person i know, would not be able to handle seeing all my half-brained decisions put out on display to the entire world. like i would not be able to read a tmz article about me being in the grocery store for three hours and leaving with nothing but cranberry juice and paper towels. or the time i ran straight through a roundabout because i thought it was a speed bump….and stan people on twitter would be dissecting my every move like “this must be an outward manifestation of inner turmoil from a complex mind” like no!!! i’m dumb!!! none of this goes any deeper than me just being my normal dumb self!! anyway what a nightmare 

It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” into your car’s side mirror three times and watch her jog and try to keep up.

Being a dick even to demons

You either die with a bachelors degree or you stay in college long enough to watch yourself become the villain.

me

I don’t know about human surgeons, but that’s a suture pattern I use to close skin all the time and you can see why.

I forgot vets existed for a moment and that comment made me wonder what Cryptid had gotten a doctorate and was performing surgery.

im going to the forest does anybody want anything? 

pined cone

bring back hozier

dont cry because its over smile because it happened

this is so sad Alexa play Gangam Style