Red Dead Redemption 2 (2018) dev. Rockstar Games
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Cosmic Funnies
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ellievsbear
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tannertan36

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@paperchicken
Red Dead Redemption 2 (2018) dev. Rockstar Games

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'the human body is perfect god doesnt make mistakes' what about wisdom teeth then. huh. gonna let those bastards grow in and fuck up your jaw for god. didnt think so
also the exploding appendix
there's an entire book about all the ways the human body is fucked up, but the highlights I remember are: -The blood vessels for our rods and cones in our eyes don't run behind them but rather in front of them. It's like putting the power cables *over* a camera's lens -the nasal sinus cavities fucked up during evolution. when our skulls shortened, we went from having a straight shot from one end to the other to having basically a basin which can collect mucus, which then has the actual exit for the chamber at the top of it. this normally isn't a problem bc cillia can work viscous mucus up it, but when we get sick and produce super watery mucus, it no longer works, which is why our noses get stuffed up. the book is called Human Errors: A Panorama of Our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes. I recommend it.
Most mammals canβt get scurvy. They make their own Vitamin C. But in primates, the gene to make it is broken. Normally, when an important gene breaks, the organism dies and has no surviving descendants, but when it broke a few million years ago, our ancestors were living in a lush climate with lots of fruit and survived the failure just fine.
Then humans invented fire and clothing, and moved to colder climates where fresh food was only available part of the year, and scurvy was born.
And our reproduction, oh heavens. There are SO MANY WAYS that human reproduction is fucked up that simply DO NOT APPLY to other animals, even the our nearest relatives, the great apes. When a gorilla is giving birth, she finds a nice hiding place in the trees, squats down for like half an hour, and pushes out a baby. Humans, not so much. In fact, the outcomes of unassisted childbirth in humans are so poor that most anthropologists agree that we must have invented midwifery in some form before we became fully human.
The amount of times Iβve asked a customer if they want a points number after they just gave me their points number.
I would like to add that I IDed a 38 year old man once
luckily I am safe from these situations because I am a neet
Quite a few time Iβll ask a customer how they are doing and when they reply and then ask how Iβm doing Iβll say βgreat thanks, how are you?ββ¦ as if I didnβt already start with thatβ¦
the ghost of one specific homosexual cowboy regularly possesses Tumblr gays
I'm about to wii sports resort to violence
I'm about to have a wii fit

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Sorry! We threw out your luggage because it was giving the airplane a tummy ache
The Land Before Time (1988)
Video Game : please choose your hair.
Available hairstyles :UGLY, UGLY, UGLY, UGLY, UGLY, UGLY, UGLY, UGLY, UGLY, ugly but it fits your character, UGLY.

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thinkin about that long-ass flight of stairs in kirkwall
this one
everyone in kirkwall has the most fuckin yolked ass n thighs around from walking up and down these bad boys every day
Anders: Nggggggh Hawke, Iβm trying to blow up the Chantry but Iβm dummy thicc from climbing Kirkwallβs big staircase to heaven and the clap of my ass cheeks keep alerting the templars.
You are Tal-Vashoth, a Qunari who has rejected the Qun and never even lived in Qunari lands. As part of the Valo-Kas mercenary company, you have earned a living by your own wits and the strength of your blade, ignoring the fearful looks you receive from those around you. Most recently the company was sent to the Chantry Conclave as hired swords, meant to keep the peace between the mages and templars β a task that has gone horribly wrong.
β³ REZA ADAAR

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