PaperChicken

'the human body is perfect god doesnt make mistakes' what about wisdom teeth then. huh. gonna let those bastards grow in and fuck up your jaw for god. didnt think so

also the exploding appendix

there's an entire book about all the ways the human body is fucked up, but the highlights I remember are: -The blood vessels for our rods and cones in our eyes don't run behind them but rather in front of them. It's like putting the power cables *over* a camera's lens -the nasal sinus cavities fucked up during evolution. when our skulls shortened, we went from having a straight shot from one end to the other to having basically a basin which can collect mucus, which then has the actual exit for the chamber at the top of it. this normally isn't a problem bc cillia can work viscous mucus up it, but when we get sick and produce super watery mucus, it no longer works, which is why our noses get stuffed up. the book is called Human Errors: A Panorama of Our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes. I recommend it.

The amount of times I’ve asked a customer if they want a points number after they just gave me their points number.

I would like to add that I IDed a 38 year old man once

luckily I am safe from these situations because I am a neet

Quite a few time I’ll ask a customer how they are doing and when they reply and then ask how I’m doing I’ll say “great thanks, how are you?”… as if I didn’t already start with that…

I'm about to wii sports resort to violence

I'm about to have a wii fit

Sorry! We threw out your luggage because it was giving the airplane a tummy ache

thinkin about that long-ass flight of stairs in kirkwall

Anders: Nggggggh Hawke, I’m trying to blow up the Chantry but I’m dummy thicc from climbing Kirkwall’s big staircase to heaven and the clap of my ass cheeks keep alerting the templars.