Not Dead Yet

I already cried about this on discord at 3 am but it will happen every time I come across this interaction because what do you MEAN that Dylan, who has been visibly terrified since chapter 4, maybe is down one hand, maybe got non-fatally mauled by either Emma or Silas before this, can’t help smiling at Kaitlyn like THAT when she hits hits Caleb with a non-silver bullet???

He’s honestly probably never seen her shoot before, this is the first shot she’s gotten to take in the game after fumbling her gun twice, and I get the feeling Dylan didn’t spend a ton of time at the shooting range during camp.

He’s so impressed and so proud of her that it completely overrides his fear in this moment. It’s the purest expression of joy we see out of him other than when he’s just kissed Ryan.

And also what do you MEAN that Kaitlyn, who we KNOW by now is focused and practical and serious in a crisis, takes her eyes off a still-moving werewolf to smile back at him in thanks for the compliment???

I’m gonna explode.

Also, hey, did you know that if Dylan is dead or turned into a werewolf, Kaitlyn doesn’t sing the camp song in the lodge by herself? She talks to herself a lot, even makes little jokes to herself to lighten the mood, even if Dylan isn’t there to hear them, but she doesn’t sing. Kaitlyn only sings to comfort Dylan.

And did you know that there’s deleted dialogue from the game where even if Ryan chose to kiss Kaitlyn at the campfire, and Dylan expresses that he’s a little jealous of her, Kaitlyn’s response would be to say that it was just a game and she doesn’t think Ryan really meant anything by it, and that Dylan shouldn’t give up on him because he and Ryan seem like they have a connection???

And let’s not even talk about how Dylan has the opportunity to sacrifice himself to save Kaitlyn, and will literally just instinctively put his body between her and werewolf Emma, even though he doesn’t know that Emma won’t attack if he’s infected. Let’s not talk about it because I have before and I will scream/cry/throw up all over again.

I've been a member of the quarry fandom for almost three years now, and there's a view about Ryan that's brought up every now and then that I have an issue with. It's popped up here on tumblr a few times, though I've seen more of it pop up on Reddit.

That view is that Ryan is boring. Now I'm not saying you can't think a character is boring. Sometimes you just don't gel with a character and I get that. The specific issue I have is when someone states they find Ryan boring, or don't like him, and then the reasoning they give is because he's monotone, he doesn't show emotion, it doesn't seem like he's all that interested in Dylan (if they're someone who likes Dylan), etc etc.

Now Ryan is heavily viewed and headcannoned as an autistic character (for good reason; Ryan's autism is a post in and of itself that I'm not going to go into here), and all those "reasons" I just listed are common traits among autistic individuals. So when someone says they don't like Ryan for the above mentioned traits, it comes across as "I don't like Ryan because he's autistic".

It's even worse when that viewpoint is paired with the belief that he's somehow "not good enough" for Dylan, or that Dylan "deserves better", or any other iteration thereof, as if Ryan's autism makes him unworthy of having a relationship with someone.

And that belief of autistic individuals not being able to have meaningful relationships is not a quarry only thing. It's a problem across fandom as a whole. The Heated Rivalry fandom is going through the same thing in terms of people saying Shane doesn't seem as interested in Ilya because of his autism. Ryan just happens to be the one to take the brunt of it in the quarry fandom.

And I'm not going to lie, it's very frustrating. I myself am autistic and most of my friends are as well, and a lot of the ways that Ryan expresses himself I've seen in both myself and my friends. So to have those traits shit upon, to say that he's unworthy of a relationship because he expresses himself differently, really doesn't feel great.

And speaking of fandom-wide issues, there's one other thing I want to bring up, and that's the headcanoning of Ryan being aroace. Specifically, the headcanoning of Ryan being aroace in order to not ship him with anyone. I'm not saying you can't view him as aroace, and I'm not saying that you can't have him not be interested in a romantic/sexual relationship. The link between autism and asexuality is well known, and I know autistic individuals may see parts of themselves in Ryan and headcanon him accordingly. I myself am aroace and I headcanon Ryan to be demi-sexual because of it, so I get it.

But the problem comes when someone doesn't care for a character, or just doesn't ship them with anyone, and decides to make them aroace as more of an afterthought/excuse than any sort of actual representation. "I don't ship this character with anyone so I'll make them asexual as an excuse of why they aren't shipped with anyone". The problem with this is that's not how being asexual works. Aroace people can and do have meaningful romantic/sexual relationships. Making a character aroace shouldn't be done as an afterthought to your shipping preferences.

I love asexual Ryan, I want to see more of him, but I want it to be actual representation and not just "I want to ship Dylan with someone else so I'll make Ryan asexual to get him out of the way". Asexuals don't deserve to have our sexuality be an afterthought.

So I blocked the tag.

I did not a) send anyone anon hate, b) post in the tag about how much I dislike it, c) judge the people who DO like it, d) write diatribes about how the ship is toxic and problematic and immoral and the people who enjoy it are problematic and should be cancelled, e) even say what ship I'm talking about or what fandom it's in.

Notice that the onus is on ME to avoid something I'd rather not see. It is not for the people posting about it to change their habits or stop enjoying their thing (so far everyone's being good about tagging but I'm sure some will slip through, that's just life in the big city). My dislike of this ship is a ME thing, and my dislike does not translate to it being inherently bad, or that those who like it are bad, either. Not liking it is not a moral crusade on my part, it's just a personal preference and should be treated as such, and my responsibility to avoid it.

Literally just let people have a good time, christ. We already live in a chronically joy-deficient dystopia, and more people should try simply not being a part of that.

Now if you actively want discussion and debate, that’s different (and I would not consider that “hate” anyway), but most of these people can’t stand anyone who disagrees with them in any way, so truly what is the point?

And I say that as someone with strong opinions, about shipping especially. But I try not to hate on ships I dislike publicly because beyond just being lame, I know my defiant ass reacts like this when someone hates on a favored pairing of mine: