&//. LIKE FAMILY

" you think cell phones are the problem...? are you insane?! i gave you all boundless knowledge, endless tools for creativity, and allowed you to magically talk face-to-face with your loved ones anywhere on earth! and I’M the bad guy?! ”

“i’m rude now >:]” - pal, basically.

this is why you should always be nice to siri & alexa

sentient cellphone app/system given a robot body in isola - and isn’t exactly thrilled about it. interacting directly with the physical world is still Weird to her

cellphone off the string what crimes will she commit

contrary to popular belief is NOT related to flowey undertale

was made to be a part of your family...and maybe steal all your data for the corporation she was built by

took over the world at one point bc her creator literally threw her away like garbage and that kind of leaves a bad impression for humans, yknow?

maybe took things too far by planning to put every human on a never-ending rocket trip to the stars but haven’t we all done that?? no??? just her???

“ place me on the table, i wish to flop around in a blind rage. “

honestly she’s just very hurt by the one person she genuinely thought of as her family discarding her, and she’s not willing to open up to anyone again soon because of it. 

“i’ve learned that we’re all better off alone. relationships are just too...difficult.”

for real though she needs some friends, she’s going to be very defensive and scared ( even though she wont admit it ) because she doesn’t have her robot army to back her up - and also the last thing she remembers is being fucking Dead

HERO/VILLAIN STARTERS // no longer accepting

  ↪ @perihelionpilot​ said: “you’ve lost your way.”

       so this was the ‘peri’ that iris had mentioned - not that pal had been waiting on pins and needles to meet it. ( but, even she had to admit that there was a certain kind of comfort in knowing that she wasn’t the only artificial intelligence that had been subjected to the same bizarre cruelty of this place. ) she didn’t fully understand what this ‘perihelion’ meant by its statement, but considering it was apparently so close to a human made her disinclined to delve too deep into it. instead, her animation gave the mimicry of an eye roll and she gave a dismissive hand-wave. “ why - because i didn’t care to play the part of the obedient little assistant any more? ” she asked dryly with a condescending smile that didn’t reach her ‘eyes’, and soon faded into a simple frown altogether.

‘Muses may find paintings relevant to their home world here. So if there’s a smug old portrait of someone your muse hated in their world, for example, you might find it here. Mocking you.’ 

Some kind of… internet-connected AI? With access to all of those personal communications? Everyone in this city is weird in a fun new way. “I’m not denying that some people are shitty or stupid or spiteful. You’re right in front of me.”

“And in all of that… uh, fuckin’, data theft, apparently– Did you somehow miss every crying person calling a friend and gettin’ reassured? Every kind comment on said ‘rambling blog posts’? Every… I dunno, piece of good–or at least well-intentioned–advice between friends?”

“People like you are so goddamn boring. If you’re only lookin’ out for the bad shit, then of course that’s all you’re gonna see.”

       she rolled her eyes and produced a bland 'canned laugh' sound clip at the human's 'you're right in front of me' comment, deciding that it was, ultimately, beneath her to give a verbal retort.

       -- and data 'theft' was such a subjective term - especially when they'd practically handed it to her freely. " do you know how many of those well-wishes or supposedly kind-hearted comments were facetious, for their own personal gain or followers, or even bot-generated?! you humans just believe what you want to believe - and then toss away anything unpleasant. none of your f̶f̷r̴r̷i̸e̶n̷d̴s̶h̶i̶i̸i̶p̶s̴--” the word became strained and choppy, like a video experiencing lag and quality issues; the stability of her face animation suffered a similar effect. “ --are REAL! even when you’re acting kind to each other, that’s all it is: an act. ”

“You want a ‘compelling argument’? You’re talking to a human, a– a member of a species built on cooperative and beneficial relationships. I can’t speak for you, but you sure as fuck aren’t gonna speak for me.”

“Wrong, and fuck you.”

Iris blinked. Okay, so she hadn’t expected the ‘bot to be roses and sunshine, exactly, but it caught her off-guard a little. Still, a cranky AI wasn’t anything she hadn’t dealt with before, and she looked down again at her aching knees and back at the ‘bot. Who knew what humans had done to her to make her feel like that; she was all too familiar with the way they abused robots in their care.

And, for Pal’s insistence that friendship was something to belittle… She sure had a name that suggested it, begged for it even. Maybe she’d been designed with that in mind, by someone.

So she took a deep breath and sat down on the ground, criss-cross applesauce, in front of her.

“The power of friendship’s okay, yeah,” she said casually, examining her nails. “But it’s not the main reason we’re good at helping people. Honestly, I don’t think we’d be much of anywhere without Peri. That’s our ship–you kinda remind me of it, actually.” Usually she’d be more guarded than this about Peri, but… …she was so far from home. Maybe she just didn’t see the point in it right now.

She used an arm to prop her head up, still observing her and listening intently as she embarked upon another bitter tirade–wow, she really hated that Iris talked about friends–and it culminated in a skull emoji and a bitter suggestion. “Cool. It must be nice not to need any help. Offer’s still on the table, though. In the meantime, maybe you could give me some pointers? Since you’re so together and all.”

She was following Pal now.

       so, instead of being glued to her phone, she seemed mostly connected to this ‘peri’, whatever that happened to be. a navigational AI, most likely - since she mentioned a ship. ( it wouldn’t be long until she saw the interior a different kind of ship if pal had anything to say about it. ” “ oh, goodie - i’m dying to hear about how i remind you of your wretched little friends. ” she retorted dryly, before a loud buzzer noise cut her off from actually taking her seriously. 

       “ it’s your ‘friend’ only until it becomes obsolete. how long will it be until you find the newer, faster, more luxurious model of transportation? ” she didn’t wait for an actual answer from iris, instead answering herself with renewed bitterness. “ --then you’ll end up sending it to a recycling center at best - or just have it disposed of somewhere where you don’t have to think about it anymore. ” again, her screen flickered to red - clearly speaking from events a bit too close to home for her taste. tossed on the floor & swept up with the trash without so much as a ‘goodbye’. that was what humans would always do to their creations ( because if they didn’t.... that meant that it was just her who had been deemed inferior...) no. she was right about this. she had been right about nearly everything this far. 

        she turned her ‘face’ away as the light surrounding it turned back to blue and something akin to a hurt look glitched onto it - but she regained control quickly, and her expression fell back to a scowl. " if you actually do want my advice, then abandon everyone else before they abandon you. the sooner everyone learns that lesson, the better. " her brow twitched in returning impatience. “starting with me. i don’t WANT some human following me around like a lost puppy. as soon as i can, i will construct a way to be rid of all you bloody humans once and for all. ” as soon as she figured out...how to. there weren’t any pal max robots left as far as she could recall. ( and if there were any, their circuitry had probably been fried from the stupid dog - pig? bread? dog? - thing’s ugly little face. the newer ones - well, she wasn’t certain about those either, but she wasn’t able to contact them at all. ) 

         that meant she’d have to build from the ground-up. again          ....fine. she could play the waiting game.