sky daddy’s mistake

“So mermaids and sirens are two different species?” “Just so. My people, what you call mermaids or merfolk, share a common ancestor to you humans, making us distant cousins. What you call sirens, however, are fish that evolved to look and sound like humans to attract their favorite prey.”

okay unrelated but what was the funniest red flag in ur worst relationship

FUCK YOU RU'AUN! if you’re dumb enough to piss off Zane Ro'Meave, you’re a big enough idiot to move into our village. zero air conditioning! attempted murders once a week! baby’s that turn into fucking shadow knights! If you think you’re gonna enjoy yourself at our market you can kiss my ass! It’s our belief that you’re such a stupid motherfucker, that you’ll help us fuck over a nether dictatorship with almost no weapons GUARANTIED! If you think Scaleswind is better than us, shove it up your ugly ass! you heard us right, SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS! Bring your sword, bring your grudges, bring your Lord, WE’LL FUCK HER. That’s right, we’ll fuck your Lord! Because at Phoenix Drop, you’re fucked six ways from sunday. Take a horse to Phoenix Drop home of CHALLENGE DYING - that’s right - CHALLENGE DYING. How does it work? If you can die before we kill you, you won’t have to become a shadow knight! Don’t wait! Don’t delay! DON’T FUCK WITH US, or we’ll rip your nuts off. Only at Phoenix Drop: the only village that tells you to FUCK OFF! ESPECIALLY YOU ZANE! If you dont move right now, you’ll fucking die, and it better not be for zane, or Irene fucking help you. GO TO HELL! Phoenix Drop. From the most filthy and exclusive the meanest sons-of-bitches in the region of Ru'aun - GUARANTIED!

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.