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Segment 1: Out of context quotes (Season 2: The Dark Ages)

1. Al - “Do you ever think we’re living in a particularly bad time in history?

Executioner - It’s time to kill a person!”

2. Mary - “Well Ted Carpenter is going to be a carpenter.

Ted - Yeah Mary Baker’s going into baking.

Mary - And Wesley is- W-What are you doing again Wesley Pervert?

Wesley - Stuff. Just stuff.”

3. Kragnor - “But we shall sow their fields with blood. We shall burn their homes, take their land, destroy-

Chauncley - Hi, Dad!

Kragnor - Fuck.

Chauncley- Great news! It took 16 months but Prince Chauncley’s Amazing Duck Show is finally ready to premiere.”

4. Teacher - “Okay class settle down. I know it’s the first day, but we’ve got a lot to get through.

Teacher - The Earth is flat, the devil is real, the sun is…crazy, and that is everything we know. Congratulations graduates.”

5. Chauncley - “I want to help you conquer the Valdrogians, to swing the sword, and hit the-the-the-the things.”

6. Kragnor - “For the first time I can gaze upon you without feeling wrenching shame.

Chauncley - I-I-I love you too.”

7. Lord Vexler - “All hail Prince Chauncley the…TBD.”

8. Chauncley - “But our weaponry is superior I imagine?

Person - I don’t know. They have these new things called guns.”

9. “(Written on a sign) Prince Chauncley the Pretty Cool.”

10. Person - “Which hunky emperor is well known for his juicy, trashy ass?”

11. Chauncley - “Bard play party mix.”

12. Eddie - “Alright just do me a favor and kiss me on the mouth.

Person - Why

Segment 1: Out of context quotes (Season 3: The Oregon Trail)

Lady - “Maybe we should just go back to John’s idea about killing ourselves. I think there was something there.”

Zeke - “Heavenly Father, it’s me, Ezekiel Brown. I don’t know why I said my name. You know it’s me. We talk all the time.”

Benny - “Enough about me. What’s your deal? I notice you talk crazy.

Zeke - Well I was born and raised in England. Well, not raised, actually. I’m an orphan, so-

Benny - Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.

Zeke - Yes, the headmistress would beat me with a shovel every morning and feed me scraps of shoe leather for dinner. To earn my keep I had to dance naked for pennies. Pennies can really hurt.

Benny - Wow that sounds rough.

Zeke - No, actually, it’s a pretty standard childhood in England.”

John - “ We got a celebrity in our midst.

Zeke - He’s not a celebrity. He’s a famous murderer.”

Zeke - “This mans a criminal! He’s done terrible things.

John - He’s don’t nothing bad to me.

Zeke - No not yet. He just got here. What if he robs you? What if he kills you?

John - Well, that’s different. That’d be a discussion.

Zeke - Unbelievable.”

Dingus - “(dramatically jumps off horse) Hey, Guys! Oop! Sorry about the gunshot. I know it’s like super loud.”

Zeke - “I am perfectly capable of leading us. I just need to figure out which way is west.

Pru - Huh. Yeah, this isn’t a map. This is an anatomical drawing of a horse.

Rachel: Don't do that!

Pheobe: Come on you won't even notice!

Joey walks in: Hey, pheebs you wanted to see me?

*buck enters Eddie’s apartment after getting a distressed call from Eddie. He sees Eddie sitting on floor with a large bottle of alcohol taking a drink*

Buck - What happened?

Eddie, on the verge of tears - Marisol and Chris saw me and Kim kiss. She insisted on taking Chris with her and he wanted to leave.

Buck - I’m sure he’ll be back he probably just needs some space.

*cue Eddie crying for like 5 minutes straight*

Eddie - You’re the best person I know Buck. Even after knowing I was with Kim you didn’t leave me.

Buck - I would never leave you, Eds.

*the room goes silent as they stare at eachother their faces getting closer together as if they are about to kiss. At the last minute though Buck kisses his cheek instead and pulls back laughing awkwardly*

Buck - You’re drunk and in case you forgot I have a boyfriend.

Eddie, and he leans in further - I don’t care.

*they end up kissing I don’t know what else to say. After a couple of minutes they hear a knock on the door they get up to answer it. Bobby is standing there*

Buck - Woah Bobby you’re awake.

Bobby - Yeah got out of the hospital a few hours ago.

*it was never explained why Bobby went to Eddie’s house. Bobby looks them up and down as if he know something just happened*

Bobby - The rest of the 118 is outside I thought we could have a barbecue, but if you two are busy-

Buck, laughing - Nope not busy come on in.

*once again why at Eddie’s house I have no idea. Anyway they head out to the backyard and Bobby starts cooking. There’s some like idle chat going on in the background when Buck speaks up*

Buck - You know a lot has went down this year but all in all I’m glad everyone is okay.

*they all do like a cheers when we hear another knock on the door*

Chimney- I’ll get it.

*he answers the door and immediately gets stabbed by a man in a wizard robe who soon after starts running around the backyard like a chicken with his head cut off. For whatever reason Denny grabs a baseball bat and starts chasing him around*

Buck - Twice?! This is the second time you have been stabbed?!

*hen is actively performing first aid while Karen yells at Denny to stop chasing the wizard man. In the end athena tackles him and he gets arrested.*

And then I woke up

JD:

JD: And?

Hen - Well have you asked him out yet?

Hen: How can you still say that?

Luke - The reason I wake up every morning.

Alex - Awww.

[earlier]

Brad - No, the other way.

Brad - Wrong way again.

Jo - Where are you?

Ian -

Ian - Poppy you tell him.

Poppy - Brad somehow convinced us to join a cult.