maybe some beckett angst to comfort maybe he’s being distant during hockey season or something and he’s just dry and short with you and your sick of it so you start doing it back
BS45 ─ space between hearts
pairing: Beckett Sennecke x reader
angst, nsfw, oral (fem receiving), swearing, mention of alcohol
a/n: let’s pretend that Beckett is still in juniors w Oshawa so it's more realistic. I got mad writing this because who do you feel like acting like that. Shutup. I'm also so sorry to the anon that sent this literally a month ago. God bless you here it is.
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The Tribute Communities Centre was cold. Enough that the sweater you were wearing did nothing to keep the chill away, leaving you to shiver as you waited for Beckett to come out of the locker room. You were sat at one of the benches near the players entrance, scrolling boredly on your phone when you heard them. You had to physically stop yourself from rolling your eyes as you spotted Beckett.
The last few weeks had been weird. Distant. In a way that left both of you confused with Beckett's absence, unable to bring it up in the short time you had together when he finally snuck into bed. And you tried to bring it up. You did. Because it wasn't fair─coming home everyday to an empty living room, going to bed without the familiar presence of your boyfriend pressed against your back─but more than that, you missed him. You tried to convince yourself that it wasn't his fault, that the interviews he had to stick around for were mandatory and the every other day night outs were good for him. But you knew, deep down, that something had changed. Because even through his busy hockey schedule, he always made time for you. Stolen moments before he was ushered back onto the bus and late nights before away games. But now there was nothing. Only a quick how was your day? as you were half asleep, happy just to feel the bed dip under his weight as you drifted off.
You forced yourself to make your way towards him and his teammates, watching as he broke off from them as they headed from the door. The smile on his face faltered just slightly, but he covered it up, offering you a small grin as his steps slowed.
"Hey." He said softly, eyes flickering over you as if he'd been waiting all day to see you.
"Hi." You answered just as softly, glancing behind him to where the guys were waiting at the door. He followed your gaze, shifting closer as he sensed how quiet you were.
"You okay?" He asked, fingers finding your arm and brushing what was meant to be a soothing trail along your skin. It was gentle. Familiar. But you pulled back subtly, crossing your arms over your chest.
He noticed instantly. He pulled his hand back, letting it drop to his side as his jaw tightened the slightest bit. "We good?" He asked tensely, voice dropping a fraction.
You nodded, tilting your head to look at him as you attempted to change the subject. "Are you going out?"
"Yeah," he rubbed the back of his neck, ignoring the voices of his teammates as they called at him. "We're just grabbing drinks. You wanna─" He cut himself off as he recognised you weren't looking him in the eye, your body turned away from his. Alarm bells started to ring in his head.
"Hey." He ducked his head down, trying to get your attention. He wanted to touch you, the urge to grab your arm again overwhelming, but he shoved his hands in his pockets at your closed off look. You looked like you'd already made up your mind about something. "Baby, look at me."
A small shimmer of hope flared in his chest as you dragged your eyes to his, his voice going impossibly soft.
"I don't have to go. We can talk. Right here."
You looked back at his teammates, seeing them standing impatiently and starting to shuffle out, and you shook your head. "It's fine. I'll see you later."
Panic shot through him. He was losing you. He could feel it. His hand shot out, taking your hand in his as he pulled you back.
"Wait." He dropped his hand to your waist, gently pulling you closer to him. "Tell me what's wrong." His eyes scanned over your face, every second of silence from you making him worry more.
You stared at him blankly, saying quietly, "Nothing. I just..." The thoughts in your head scattered as his teammates broke the silence, calling out to him again.
His jaw clenched as he kept his eyes on you, shaking is head as if he could will them away silently. "It's not nothing." His fingers tightened around your waist as bit your lip between your teeth, your eyes dropping to his chest. "I don't care if they wait. Tell me what's wrong."
You forced your eyes to his, saying quickly, "You're never home anymore."
His gaze softened as he looked down at your hands, taking them in his. "I know...I know. But training's been..." He stopped himself. He knew they were excuses. "It won't always be like this. Once I─" Aiden's voice cut through the cold air of the arena, making Beckett snap his head in his direction.
He glared behind him, frustration building up in his chest before he brought his gaze back to yours. He opened his mouth to speak, to reassure you, to not let you leave like this─
"It's fine." You repeated, pulling away from him. "Have fun."
His breath stopped at the finality in your voice. The resignation. He hated it. Hated knowing he was the one who put it there. But he couldn't bring himself to fix it.
"Okay." He breathed, his voice falling on deaf ears as you turned away from him. He quickly stepped in front of you, not caring if you pushed him away as he pressed his lips to your forehead. "Text me when you get home," he mumbled against your skin, pulling back to look at you. "Okay?"
You nodded, letting yourself lean into him for a split second. You almost crumbled at the familiar warmth. The moment of weakness almost undid him.
But you pulled away, not meeting his eyes as you left him behind you in the arena.
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Hours later, after too many drinks and too many questions from his teammates, Beckett stumbled into his apartment. He was on autopilot as he collapsed into bed, every thought in his head images of you. He knew you were asleep, but you didn't text him. He pulled out his phone with clumsy fingers and tapped on your contact, fumbling to type out a message.
He stared at it as he debated sending more, his bed too cold without you. Too empty. He blamed his foggy mind as he dragged his thumbs across the screen.
Across the city, you stared at your phone, tucked under your covers, and debated blocking him, typing out a fk u but deleting it.
His heart started beating faster as he saw the three dots jumping on his screen, waiting hopefully before they disappeared. That sobered him up. He blinked slowly at his phone, waiting for the dots to reappear, and when they didn't, he tapped into your contact.
"Fuck it." He mumbled, hitting call.
Your heart jumped in your chest as you saw his face light up your screen, staring at it blankly before you answered.
"Hello?" You mumbled tiredly, half drunk with exhaustion yourself.
On the other side of the line, he shut his eyes, the picture of you lying in bed, hair tousled with sleep, turning him warm.
"I wake you up?" He slurred, a ghost of guilt haunting his voice.
He let out a slow breath, hearing the distance in your voice. "I miss you." He mumbled, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. The drunk honesty behind them was piling on top of the too many weeks of pretending it didn't kill him to be away. You didn't care.
His grip on his phone tightened, the silence on the other end making him squeeze his eyes shut. He wanted to keep talking. Keep apologising. "Baby, I..." He groaned, running a hand through his hair. "I miss you so fucking much..."
You couldn't find it in you to feel bad. You missed him too, but that was his fault. Your voice was flat as you muttered into your phone, "You're drunk."
He didn't deny it. He'd be a liar if he said the buzz in his head wasn't encouraging him to spit all the words he wanted to say right at you. But he sighed, quiet for a moment before he was mumbling again.
"Doesn't change what I'm saying."
You rolled your eyes. "Whatever, Beckett."
The sound of your voice, so flat and cold, had him sitting up in bed. "Don't do that..."
"Don't call me when you're wasted then."
Fuck, you sounded tired. Hurt. So done with him he couldn't control the frustration sneaking into his voice.
"Why not? I'm not allowed to say I miss you?" He sounded angry. At himself, for screwing this up. At hockey, for taking your time together. He was about to speak when you beat him to it.
"Then do something about it."
And then the line went flat, and Beckett was staring at your contact, and his heart was thumping out of his chest at the tone of your voice. Do something about it. He was on his feet in an instant, not caring what he was wearing or that he was drunk or that you were mad at him. He grabbed his car keys, stumbling out of his door with the only concept in his head getting you back.
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It was 30 minutes later when you heard knocking at your door. Your stomach filled with dread as you slowly made your way to the front, breathing quickening. Did he drive here drunk? Is it even Beckett? Who the hell─
You whipped the door open, staring at Beckett incredulously as he leaned against the door frame.
He didn't let you finish, the sight of you in an old T-shirt and shorts replacing the frustration and pent-up words he'd been holding back with a rush of affection, his arms locking around you so tightly you made a quiet noise of surprise.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled into your neck, breathing in the familiar scent of your shampoo and the way you fit so perfectly against him. "I'm so fucking sorry."
He instantly sobered. Enough that he didn't care if he was slightly tipsy, or if you were mad. All that mattered was holding you and feeling you in his arms and knowing you weren't gone for good. His hands slid up your back, fingers threading into your hair as he pulled you closer, tilting his head back just enough to look at you─really look at you─with his stupidly intense blue eyes that usually had you melting. "Tell me what to do," he whispered. "Tell me what to do and I'll do it."
You blinked at him slowly, silent with confusion and the subtle warmth blooming in your chest at the fact that he'd actually shown up. "Um..."
He had to stop himself from squeezing you. He could see you struggling to think, still clearly half asleep, and it made his stomach twist with guilt. Here he was, showing up at your door in the middle of the night, ruining your sleep and demanding your time because he couldn't speak up before. His hand moved to your face, calloused thumb gently brushing over your cheek as he took in your bleary eyes.
You just stared at him, letting your thoughts sort out. You managed a weak, "Stop being stupid."
His thumb stopped moving, the corner of his lips twitching into a half-smile. "Easier said than done." He murmured, still holding you tight.
"I'm serious." You tried to keep a serious expression. You really did. But his hair was sticking in different directions and his cheeks were flushed and you hadn't been this close to him in weeks. You cursed to yourself as your own lips started to curl, betraying you.
His smile grew a fraction as he watched you, lips fighting to stay straight, his heart swelling. He'd missed this. Missed seeing you soft and sleepy and his. Missed the banter that never failed to make him pliant and completely at your mercy. "Yeah," he said quietly. "I know." He leaned closer, almost giving into the urge to kiss the almost-smile off your face. But he didn't.
His hand moved again, trailing softly down your arm, the light touch leaving goosebumps on your skin. He could feel you shiver under his touch, and it took every ounce of self-restraint in him to not crowd you against your door and kiss you senseless. His gaze flickered to your lips, watching you chew on the bottom one subconsciously. "Hey," he said quietly. "Look at me."
When your eyes met his he thumbed your waist gently, tracing a familiar pattern into your skin through the material of your shirt. You sucked in a deep breath at the unconscious habit─he was always touching you, holding you, feeling you nearby. As if he was afraid you'd slip through his fingertips if he didn't.
"No more drinking and saying out with the guys until two in the morning. No more ignoring you so I don't have to admit I miss you more than anything." He said softly. "No more of that."
He studied you silently, the sight of you looking up at him making his voice crack with emotion.
"I don't want to lose you. I can't."
He was close enough that you could feel his breath on your face. Close enough to count the faint freckles peppering his nose. Close enough that your heart fluttered in your chest as he pulled you even closer.
"Just─" He began, his grip on you tightening. "Just...give me a chance. Let me be better."
You stared at him quietly, watching his pupils take over the blue you loved so much as you thought about the last few weeks. How lonely they had been. How frustrating. But then you thought of the how it used to be. How it could be. And you nodded after a moment.
Those three words were all it took for him to let out the breath was holding, relief flooding through him in a wave so strong his knees almost gave out. He'd expected more protest─more of a fight─ but here you were, agreeing to give him another chance. It floored him.
He let out a shaky breath, his forehead dropping to rest against yours as he cupped your cheeks like you were the most precious thing in the world. "I'll be so good." He whispered, thumbs tracing impossibly soft circles against your cheeks. "I'll do anything for you."
"Asshole." You mumbled, letting your lips brush his.
He let out a shaky laugh, the light brush of your lips sending a shock through his system as he leaned closer, breath mingling with yours. "Yours." he murmured. "Your asshole."
"That sounds so wrong." You whispered, pressing closer to him.
He let out a low laugh, feeling you press against him. He felt like he was on fire, every touch of your skin on his feeling tingly. He wanted to pick you up and carry you to your bed and show you how much he missed you, how much he needed you. The thought was overwhelming. "It's accurate though." He mumbled back, letting his thumb brush your bottom lip.
You smiled against his lips, letting your arms snake around his neck as he leaned over you. He felt it, that subtle curve of your lips against his like sunshine breaking through clouds, so warm and bright and meant for him he felt helpless. He pulled you even closer until there wasn't an inch of space between you. "Missed that..." He mumbled against your lips. "Missed this."
Another kiss─slow and deep and full of the apology he wanted to engrave in your skin.
He was losing himself in you. The way your body felt against his, the way you tasted, the way you fit in his arms. He kissed a trail down your neck, his hands slipping under your shirt.
His lips were crashing into yours with a hunger that had been building for weeks. All the missed nights, the cold beds and empty texts─it poured into this kiss.
He backed you slowly towards your bedroom without breaking contact, hands fumbling behind him to push the door open. He didn't care if he was being smooth─all he cared about was getting you somewhere soft where he could hold you properly. The door swung open with a soft creak, your bedside lamp lighting your room dimly. He guided you inside, hands everywhere─your back, your hair, sliding down to squeeze your hips─ as if trying to memorise every curve you had to offer. He breathed into your lips, "Can I stay?" And you nodded, knees hitting your bed as you whispered, yes.
The second you nodded, he was moving─gently laying you down on the bed, lips insistent but gentle as they met yours again and again. He carefully lowered himself with you, one knee on either side of your hips as he pushed down onto an elbow beside you. He kissed you slower now─softer, deeper, pouring everything into it. The apology for being gone. The longing from every lonely night. The relief of finally having you again. His thumb brushed your cheek as he deepened the kiss, his body hovering over yours with that familiar weight that had you arching into him for more. When you tilted your head, kissing him back with quiet need, it undid him completely. He exhaled like he'd been holding his breath for years, kissing you properly when he felt your hands slide into his hair. He smiled against you─so tender and full of love that it hurt. He couldn't believe you were here. That you'd let him stay. That after everything you were letting him kiss you like this.
He shifted slightly, lowering himself just enough to press his body gently against yours─not with crushing weight but with the warmth he'd been craving for weeks. One hand stayed cradling your face, the other tracing down your arm until his fingers laced with yours on the pillow beside your head. You squeezed his hand gently─subtle, but firm enough that he groaned quietly at the closeness. When your legs hooked around his waist, pulling him flush against you, he made a low sound in the back of his throat, every nerve in his body lighting up at once. He finally let himself sink into you─his chest pressing into yours, hips settling naturally between your thighs─and kissed you with everything he had; slow and deep and aching with love. His free hand slid under your shirt, warm palm skimming up your spine while he rocked slowly against you─not demanding, just feeling.
The kiss deepened on its own, his mouth moving against yours with that quiet intensity that left both of you breathless but unable to pull away. He could feel your heartbeat through the thin fabric of your clothes, fast and steady and synced with his own like a drumbeat. He broke away just enough to trail soft kisses down your jaw and along the curve of your neck, each press of his lips a silent promise: I'm here. I'm not leaving.
When he reached the hollow of your throat, he paused, pressing a lingering kiss here before turning his head to brush his lips to the shell of your ear. He exhaled softly, warm breath ghosting your skin. "I love you." He whispered, so quiet it was almost lost in the silence between breaths. The words were raw. Unfiltered. Something he hadn't said in too long and felt so good rolling off his tongue he wanted to repeat it until it was the only thing he knew.
"I love you." You breathed back, squeezing his hand again as you leaned your head towards his.
His heart almost stopped in his chest. Those three words─so soft and sleepy and sincere─hit him like a train. It was the first time you'd said it since things went sideways. Since he'd made things go sideways. For a second he couldn't speak. Then his eyes pricked with emotion─actually fucking stung─and he ducked his head to hide it against your shoulder before kissing your neck again and again like he needed proof this was real.
He kissed you everywhere─your neck, your collarbone, the soft spot beneath your ear─each kiss softer than the last and filled with a desperation that told you how much he loved you without saying it. His thumb stroked over yours where your hands were still laced together on the pillow, finally lifting his head to look at you. His eyes looked glassy, shiny with unshed tears, and the way he was looking at you was so devastatingly tender you felt your eyes heat up as well. There was no cockiness in his gaze─none of the hockey player bravado he put on in public. Just pure, vulnerable love.
Without a word, he leaned down and kissed you again, slower than before, like a promise he could seal between your lips. The hand on your cheek slipped down to your shoulder, almost limp as he poured every ounce of emotion he had into you. His lips moved gently against yours─a quiet rhythm with no urgency, no hunger to rush things. Just kissing because he finally could again. Because you were his.
His palm glided over your stomach, so warm it made you shiver. He smiled against your lips, sliding his hand upwards, brushing your ribs deliberately until he was thumbing the edge of your bra. When you leaned into the touch, it was all the permission he needed. He kissed you deeper now, bolder as the warmth of your skin fed his confidence. He peeled off one layer at a time, slowly lifting he hem of your shirt gently and letting it fall to the floor. His eyes dropped to you─now just in your bra and shorts, and for a heartbeat, he just stared. You were so beautiful it actually hurt. He swallowed hard, throat working as he fought the urge to dive right back in. Instead, he leaned down slowly, littering soft kisses along your collarbone until he was kissing the lace of your bra. His lips hovered over the centre of your chest, just above your heart. He could feel it beating beneath him, fast and steady, and he smiled as he pressed a kiss right over the spot.
His hands slid up again, thumbs brushing the sides of your bra as he reached his hands behind you. He unhooked it with careful fingers, the clasp coming undone with a quiet click, and he gently took it away. When it fell, he just gazed. No words. Just pure awe at the way your chest rose and fell, the softness of your skin under the dim light. Then he lowered himself again and kissed your shoulder, slowly working his way inward. His lips trailed over the curve of your breast, so reverent you never wanted him to stop. When he reached the peak, he breathed softly over it, finally pressing his mouth there in a gentle kiss that made heat bloom beneath your skin. He took his time─kissing, licking with the flat of his tongue─testing how you responded. Every hitch in your breath had his own heart beating faster. When he sucked gently, the way you tensed under him almost made him groan.
His hands roamed your body, thumbs tracing lazy circles on your hips as he swallowed your quiet sounds like he was starving. He shifted slightly, lips never leaving your skin as he kissed lower, down the centre of your chest and stomach until he was hooking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, fingers pausing as he glanced up at you through dark lashes. When your hips lifted in response, a pulse of heat shot straight through him, breath hitching as he peeled your shorts and whatever was underneath down and off you. He leaned down again, kissing from ankle to knee to thigh until he was mouthing at the inside if your leg. He could feel how warm you were getting. How tense with anticipation. He placed one last soft kiss to the junction where your hip met your leg before he moved a breath away from where you wanted him─where he wanted to be. He breathed you in, your scent and warmth sending a rush through him that had him easing your legs wider. He lowered his mouth slowly, so agonisingly slowly, until finally, finally, he pressed a soft kiss to your skin.
He didn't rush. Didn't dive in with desperate hunger. He just kissed again, a little firmer this time, and let out a quiet hum that vibrated through you. His hands slid under your thighs, lifting you slightly as he leaned back just to look at you.
And then he was leaning in again, and his body relaxed, like this is where he was meant to be, and kissed you with slow devotion. His tongue flicked gently, and the tiny gasp it elicited out of you had him pressing further between your thighs. He deepened everything he was doing─gentle but more intentional, holding your hips steady as he moved his mouth and tongue in the slow rhythmic motion that had you rolling your hips into him. One of his hands slipped up to brush against your stomach, rubbing soothing circles as the other held your hips down.
The room was quiet except for your soft breaths, Beckett so focused on drawing this out that he couldn't even speak. He kissed you with growing confidence, guided by every quiet sound that left your lips.
You couldn't stop yourself from leaning into him, the fingers you had threaded in his hair pulling him closer and closer until you were shivering beneath him. When he felt you getting closer, your muscles tensing, he slowed, drawing it out as much as he could. When your breath caught in your throat, a weak moan falling from your lips, he softened his touch, the exact moment you tipped over dragging a low groan from deep within him. He slowed his movements─gentle kisses to soothe rather than stimulate, letting you ride it out until you were limp and soft and so beautiful in his arms he could stay between your legs forever.
He pressed one last gentle kiss before lifting his head slowly, watching your face with warm loving eyes. Your chest rose and fell in slow, deep breaths, face bright with that post-pleasure glow that had Beckett gripping your skin like he couldn't get enough. Without a word he crawled up beside you and gently pulled you into his arms, one wrapping around your shoulders while he tucked the other under your head. He pressed a soft kiss to your hair, filled with so much affection you blinked your eyes open at him.
You gave him a soft smile at his words, lips brushing his jaw in reciprocation as you settled beside him.
He almost shuddered at the words, kissing your forehead lightly as he watched your eyes droop shut. Outside, the city hummed distantly. You were still awake, barely, but with every thump of his heart, his warmth as solid as an anchor, your breathing slowed.
There was no space between hearts anymore. He wouldn't let there be.
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a/n: unfollow those girls too buddy. Pmo.
