P3R10D BL00D

CALLING ALL LIFTERS

aight everyone, listen up. i’m here to lead y’all in on the scam of a lifetime. this applies to victoria’s secret love pink ONLY - so i recently started doing this thing where i went on the live chat of their website telling them that my order never came. now, they DO track the orders BUT i told them that i contacted USPS (their standard shipping method if you live in the USA) and that it’s a lost cause, there’s no hope of the package. i’ve gotten over $500 back in refunds from the orders by doing this. 

keep in mind that: 

if the order is over 90 days old they won’t refund you to the original payment but they’ll give you store credit

you have to tell them the order number of what you’re claiming as “lost”

they may ask for verification such as your billing address etc.

if you don’t know the order numbers, but have an online account use my steps above (when signed in) to find your order history

So Christmas has just passed. You probably went crazy, panic-lifting tons of presents, then chilled out over the few holiday days. Now big Boxing Day/New Years sales are up, stores are going to be BUSY. Lifting could be easy. Here’s some stuff to keep in mind.

1. Order of importance; so I’m not going to preach to only lift what you need, because that’s blurry territory. But take the time to list what you need and get those items before more luxury items- pressure will be off and you don’t have to focus on it anymore, you can lift freely. In short, try to get food and basic stuff before pricey skincare and excess clothes and makeup.

2. Disguise; make subtle changes to yourself. This can be hard to pull off so observe your usual style, what you’d pull out of your closet and put on your face and do to your hair on any normal shopping day. Change everything you can. Clip the bangs up, dot freckles on, wear the contact lenses over the glasses or vice versa. Wear the pale jeans and nude boots over the black cargos and combat boots and goth coat. I hate to say it being a goth girl at heart, but individuality and alternativity (is that a word?) doesn’t have a place in lifting. It will get you caught very fast. Get as close to looking like just another kind and agreeable yet kind of spoilt and rich average gal/dude. Be wary of looking too rich somewhere more expensive, though - they may see dollar signs and harass you for a sale.

3. Your rights; NOBODY except loss prevention and police can stop you, and nobody but police can search your bag without permission. Stay calm, cool and polite. Collected. You understand why they stop people, shoplifting does happen and you’ve seen it a few times - but you don’t really get it. You have a job and work hard and spend your hard earned money here. Be co operative but know your right to privacy. Don’t let them dance around the topic, ask politely if there’s a problem. If you have a bad feeling then get out of there, say no thank you to the request for a bag check, if it comes to it then say you don’t like being accused of something. Hell, even pull the ‘you’re a forty something year old guy, I’m a young lady, I feel threatened, I heard about that pr!m@rk nonce security guard scandal you know!!!’ card if you must. But never, ever fall for their shit. Don’t get taken to a back room and wait for police to show up. Get out of there.

4. Organisation; carefully think before you head out to lift what you’re going to do with your haul items. Do you have a car to drop goods in between stores? A big bag? I recently started tightly folding up plastic reusable bags in my purse and it’s been AMAZING. It’s eco friendly, it just makes you look like a nice conscious shopper, and it’s extra room. Loads of it. Practice at home folding up or squeezing in the type of things you’ll be lifting, make sure you can pull off a type of conceal before you do it. As long as everything looks alright, your bags aren’t lumpy and misshapen and merchandise isn’t spilling out everywhere, you’re golden.

5. Awareness; it does no good to be inconsolably paranoid while lifting but do assume every camera is being watched closely, you are being observed, plainclothes LP are here somewhere, any shoppers that see you conceal or have suspicion will rat you out, workers are aware of lifting activity and are communicating and most of all assume everyone in the damn shop is aware you are there. You cannot sneak a whole human in and out of a store! You’re there and that’s okay, take up the necessary space. You’re just a shopper and it’s okay to take interest in everything, talk on the phone, have normal conversations and laugh with a friend you’re with. You are a normal person, you don’t turn into an alien when you lift though it may feel like it.