It's Always Spring Here

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

buzz aldrin and neil armstrong liked to do a thing where they’d tell unfunny jokes at parties about being on the moon and when people were confused they’d go “guess you had to have been there”

today i took the worst photo of a loon one can possibly take while remaining identifiably a loon

if you are on mobile good news! you can just move your phone around and it is like you are driving maisy car around the real world!

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

I love gay people theres a guy in my neighborhood who named his one singular dog “simon and garfunkel”

for $89 you can buy sheets from Urban Outfitters that look like someone shit on them

her what

does anyone know whag the rest of it says