â Â I don't want you looking back at all the ghosts left behind... â
Name: Owen Rockholt
Age: 35
Gender identification: Cis male, he/him
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Relationship status: Single
Residential area: Harrison West
Occupation: Singer/songwriter, owner of Record Revival
Two positive traits: Solicitous, imaginative
Two negative traits: Escapist, maverick
Length of time in Heartsdale: 23 years
Faceclaim: Chris Evans
tw: drugs, overdose, death
At  nine years of age, Owen Rockholt found himself at an unfathomable  crossroads in life. He had always been aware that his mother was sad,  though the depths of it evaded his young perceptions. Despite being  inseparable, spending so much time together, Owen would have never been  prepared to walk into what he saw coming home from school that day. Upon  entering the house, he called out for his mother but the place was  eerily quiet, too quiet, and thatâs when he found her slumped on the  floor at the foot of her bed in his parentâs room. There was a rubber  tourniquet on the floor by her leg, drug paraphernalia on each side of  her, and when he reached out to shake her in hopes that she was only  passed out, her body was cold. Owenâs childhood was gone in an instant.  He cried and screamed, the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end,  instinctively knowing the worst while reacting mindlessly in efforts to  revive her. His motherâs chest refused to rise and fall again like it  was supposed to, air would no longer travel in and out of her lungs, and  of course there would come no answer from that almighty up in the sky  somewhere. A trauma psychologist would later explain to Owenâs father,  Matthew, a sex crimes detective, that the boyâs blocking out of his  childhood was due to Owenâs find and that he curled up next to her  corpse, his mind and her body had shut downâdidnât think to call, Owen  just couldnât leave her side. While he will not speak of it, the only  memory Owen has of that time was his dad pulling him away from his  mother and heâs still angry about it, no matter how unreasonable.
When  your system gets shocked and your heart and mind work to find a way to  cope, to move on, life changes completely. For months Owen wouldnât  speak, he would barely eat, and his relationship with Matthew only grew  worse after his motherâs untimely death. The blame from the young boy  was placed on his fatherâs shoulders. He and Matthew had never been  close, his fatherâs profession as a detective had always kept their  relationship distant and strained. Owen would also learn later on as he  got older that his father had plenty of affairs, cheated too many times  and his mother knew about it. The betrayal had attributed to the  sensitive womanâs sadness and depression. However Owen was before was  gone and he could hardly stay home, if his dad was there he found  somewhere else to be, whether it was at his uncle Thomasâs or a friendâs  place. The boyâs father made more of an effort to be home, to be the  single parent and care for his son that sometimes seemed beyond repair  and the more Owen saw Matthew, the more his resentment grew. His mother  had been lonely and sad because of him, she tried to find fixes and ease  the heartbreak she felt at the core of her being because of him. Owenâs  mind was made up on that and he never allowed anyone to tell him  otherwiseâheâd yell or walk away, likely to never talk to or see the  person again. Thomas never pushed the subject and Owen was never sure  why but he couldnât ever bring it up to talk about, deciding on his own  that he was sad over the loss too. Maybe even blamed his brother Matthew  as well.
Somehow Owen managed to make it through  school, though he hardly attended and created many problems for Matthew  with truancy. It had been troubling for him, losing his mother but also  being relocated from Ireland to Georgia. His grades were never  spectacular but he wasnât failing and he was actually scoring very well  on tests, despite the fact that the upheaval came in the middle of his  school year. Matthew only stated once he couldnât stay where all the  memories were. Owen focused on music, teaching himself to play guitar  after heâd received a hand-me-down with a missing string. Writing songs  or music wasnât a goal either, even if he was greatly talented at it.  Playing was cathartic and it was always personal even though heâd allow  other people to listen. His lack of friends didnât bother him, he had  attention from people and some wanted to be close and tried but Owen was  afraid of connection. Loss, losing someone, had become his greatest  fear and found life to be easier without. He found ways to fill the void  that loneliness leaves with music and whatever too short lived thrill  could take his thoughts away. He didnât bother to attend his high school  graduation even though Thomas had told him he would go. Owen was sure  his dad was busy and even though he couldnât stand the man, it was  another thing to be mad at him for.
After high  school life became a never ending routine of finding whatever he could  to pass the time. Heâd find people to play music with, stay with, and  would work odd jobs. Matthew mostly only knew what his son was up to by  way of Thomas, whom Owen shacked up with at various different times and  kept in the loop of what he was doing with his life. The young adult had  no real ambition for anything and playing guitar or writing poetry were  the only activities that eased his pain and kept the memories at bay,  they were like wild dogs scratching at the door trying to get out. He  remembered everything but would never tell anyone that, Owen felt he  would lose her mom, Faye, forever if he did. Even girls that he spent  any real time with reminded him of his mother in one way or another, he  always found some connection but then it made him completely push away.  With Matthew often getting into his face when theyâd have their run-ins,  often to throw Owen into something constructive or try and get him to  attend the university he had been accepted into, heâd yell at the young  man to grow up. Always saying that life goes on and itâs time he lets go  of the past. Sheâs never coming back. Itâs those visits with dad that  send Owen spiraling out of controlâheâd trash the place he was staying  or go get drunk and then speed down the main drag of downtown running  all the lights. Thomas and his guitar always bring him back and pull him  out of the depths of the hell he goes into.
It was  only a semester later that Owen began attending classes, after a dark  night where he swore he heard his motherâs voice telling him he needed  to save himself. So many years his life had been marked by grief and his  inability to let go, and the change was to focus on himself and settle  down. The more he practiced and played on his skill, the more he opened  himself up to writing and socializing on campus. He was able to make  real friends and find some happiness. The parts of him he kept shut down  and buried opened up and blossomed. Owen began performing at open mic  nights at back alley bars and pubs, singing and playing guitar to let it  all out. And just maybe because music was in his soul. It was a life  heâd become content withâworking odd jobs, being a street performing,  and occasionally playing a gig here and there. Only, life seemed to have  other plans for Owen.
One of the good things that  has come of his life has been his gift in the ways of playing his  guitar. A talent manager found Owen playing on the street one day and  she has been booking him for gigs ever since, even helped him land a  record deal. To date heâs released an EP or two. Dakota, his manager,  can sense that Owen has some deep troubles buried, yet thereâs something  in him that comes alive when playing music or writing on his guitar.  With music and playing with or for people, heâs allowed to do something  he loves and something that connects for him spirituallyâOwen will  always cite it as his savior. With the bit of money he began making from  his music and live gigs, the Irish immigrant bought a record store in  Heartsdale early on in his career, wanting nothing less than to be  surrounded by music.
