owada cubed

Rule #5 Don't eat the butter in the cafeteria

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Have you heard what they say? What you should do if you start to find an unpleasant aftertaste to the meals you eat in the main cafeteria? They say it's a sharp tang that crawls up your throat and coats your tongue. Check the ingredients, the common link will be butter. But it's no intolerance, or spoiled food. It's how he finds you.

They say like Calabar beans, it only effects the guilty. A way for him to pick out those with skeletons in their closets. but what it is for certain is an omen. A dark, greasy stain begins to spread slowly, reluctantly, seeping through your bedroom wall. Foul and glistening he emerges. Rivulets of some unspeakable substance rolls off his body, oozing down the wallpaper. Formless limbs slither beneath his melting frame, creeping toward you with a single minded purpose. He's a guilty conscience made manifest.

So promise him. Admit the wrongs you've wrought, swear you'll do better and promise with everything you have you'll try to set things right. They say that's your only hope.

The morning after feels like a fever dream. It's easy to to rationalise, some botulism based hallucination perhaps. But did you know? no matter how foul,

you can't get food poisoning from rancid butter.