beloved.

I just wanna sit by the sea and listen to the sound of waves

girls!!! we gotta fail more often!!! we’re so scared of failure and disappointing people and looking stupid that we don’t even TRY things! men?? men brush off failure like it’s nothing! if a man doesn’t get a job he wanted, it’s because they didn’t review his application fairly! it’s because the competition was tough this year! it’s because he just needs to try harder next time! men just DO things!!! and you know what DOING things builds?? confidence!!! even if you fail!! the more you fail, the more confident you are that you can fail and survive! women don’t even wanna try unless they are 100% certain that they’re qualified and competent and won’t disappoint anybody! but that is NONSENSE. men are out there getting positions they’re not even qualified for, while over-qualified but less-confident women are staying where it’s safe bc they’re afraid to rock the boat!!! DO. IT. apply for the thing! ask for the raise! enter the competition! get used to failing ALL the time! fail quickly and move on!!! if a cocky but mediocre man would do it, then for the love of god, GO DO THE DAMN THING. you are SO much more qualified than you think you are.

I LOVE YOU

this post physically cured me

More often than not the cost of failure in these sorts of things is entirely internal, there nothing to actually lose. Didn’t get that job/promotion? You’re exactly where you started. Didn’t sell that art piece? You’re exactly where you started. Person didn’t respond to your advances? You’re exactly where you started. The cost of failure is often only what you impose on yourself. So fail and forgive and move on. Failure is prerequisite to success. Failure is an opportunity to learn and improve. Failure is necessary and failure is okay. Perhaps most importantly, if you don’t try you’ve already failed. Not trying has a 0% success rate. So try and don’t be afraid to fail.

Friendly reminder to not punish yourself for creating. 

Can you elaborate on what you mean by this?

I have a tendency to beat myself up whenever something I make doesn’t meet my expectations (which is always). The result is that finishing something = bad feelings: I am effectively punishing myself for having created something. The natural reaction to this punishment is an aversion to creation, meaning that my perfectionism is harming me, not only by causing me to despise what I do make and by impeding the creative process, but by attacking even my desire to create.