Kris and Berdly's First Date!
an excerpt from chapter 11 of the bird who works at gamestop
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The human smiled at their phone, wiggling their legs in anticipation. Susie looked over, happy to see Kris so excited for something. As… weird as this bird guy sounded, he might actually end up being a good thing for them.
“Hey stop kicking jerk,” she said, tossing the human’s legs off of her. Kris let the rest of their body fall with them, flopping on the ground like a dead fish.
Kris immediately shot up and ran to the door while ignoring Susie’s laughing. They took a breath before opening it, revealing the bluebird awkwardly standing on their doorstep once again.
“Kris! You look…” Berdly blinked rapidly, trying not to let his eyes linger too long on the human. “Amazing!”
Kris observed Berdly's outfit as well. The bird had gone with a button-up shirt and nicer khaki shorts, his usual nerd glasses the cherry on top.
So, not that much different than his usual GameStop uniform. They watched as the bird nervously brought out a flower from behind his back.
“Here’s, um… I thought you might…” he trailed off as the human slowly took it from him. They mumbled something that kind of sounded like a ‘thank you’.
After an excruciatingly awkward beat of silence, the bird cleared his throat and held out a wing to Kris, “The taxi is waiting, my dear. Come with me!”
The human rolled their eyes at his theatrics and grabbed Berdly’s wing, squeezing their fingers around soft feathers. The bluebird lead them to a car that was parked on the road, and opened a door for Kris.
The two climbed in and the taxi started the drive. The pair reconnected their hands in the backseat, Kris holding up Berdly’s wing to play with it. The bird simply accepted his fate as the human opened and closed his feather-fingers.
“How does this, um…” they spoke up gesturing to the ‘fingers’. Berdly hummed in confusion before answering Kris’ question.
“Oh, you’re asking how my hand works. Well, I use my unique monster-magic to switch between feathers and fingers.” He explained, demonstrating it to the human. Feathers clumped together to form fingers and separated back into a wing.
Kris watched with fascination, taking Berdly’s wing back to experimentally bend them various directions. Monsters were so cool.
“Hey- Ow, don’t do that!” he protested, but not making any move to get away from the human. Kris snickered and eventually released the wing as the car arrived at its destination.
Berdly grinned as he got out of the car to open Kris’ door, excited to see their reaction to the epic date spot he picked out (approved by several subreddits and Yelp reviews!).
When he walked over they had already gotten out and smirked at the desvastated expression he wore at the discovery.
‘No problem, gender roles don’t matter on this date anyways! Everything else can go exactly to plan…’ Berdly thought to reassure himself. Kris looked up the building next to them, reading the sign.
‘Collegetown Planetarium’ it read. They shrugged, hoping it wouldn’t be as boring as a regular museum. Kris wondered if it would be possible to sneak into one of the displays and cause some trouble.
“There’s a show here in about fifteen minutes, I thought we both might enjoy it. Does that sound… good?” Berdly asked for approval, trying to decipher Kris’ usual deadpan stare.
The human nodded and the pair walked in. Kris picked at their nails as they waited for Berdly to scan in their tickets at the front desk.
"Shall we peruse the exhibit before going in to the dome theater, dearest Kris?" He asked, walking up to them. The human shrugged in agreement.
Berdly's fake-smart talk today was starting to annoy Kris. Hopefully that birdbrain would snap out of whatever it was soon.
They slowly walked around the display of various planet models and posters of information. Berdly read out any interesting facts he saw while Kris took Berdly's wing and fidgeted with it again.
"So, uh, what's your favorite one so far?" he asked, referring to the solar system model in front of them.
Kris squinted and hummed in contemplation before poking the second to last blue ball held up by wire. They looked up and wiggled their eyebrows at the bird.
Berdly narrowed his eyes. "Uranus? Very funny, Kris."
The human let out a snort and poked Berdly next, pointer finger extended.
"Oh my favorite? Definitely Pluto," he proudly announced. Kris grinned and squeezed Berdly's wing.
"Pluto's lame. It's a dwarf," they leaned in to respond quietly. Berdly scoffed, face comically offended.
"What?! Pluto totally has the coolest backstory. And you're a dwarf too." He flicked Kris on the forehead with his free wing.
Kris' eyes flashed with evil. Okay, that's it. Gremlin mode activated.
They lunged up at Berdly and licked his cheek, nose bumping into his glasses. The bird stood still, shocked, for a second before his face twisted in disgust.
"Eughh, Kris what the hell?!" he nearly yelled as he furiously attempted to rub the spit off his face. The human simply stood there smiling deviously at their work.
"Ehem" a loud voice cleared their throat on purpose next to them.
A white and blue cat monster appeared, her disconnected hands set on her hips. Her judgmental gaze practically screamed 'Stop doing weird shit in public you freaks'.
The bird and human stepped apart and awkwardly walked away from her, Kris barely containing the urge to harass her in revenge.
Once far away enough, they shared a conspiratorial glance before bursting into laughter at the looks on each other's faces.
"Hahaha... Kris... I swear, I can't take you anywhere," Berdly said, adjusting his glasses to wipe a tear from his eye. Kris giggled as they hugged Berdly's arm, soft cheek pressed against his shoulder.
"Attention all guests, the show is about to start! Please take a seat in the dome theater."
Berdly perked up at that and patted Kris on the shoulder. The human reluctantly detached themself from the bluebird and walked with him to the seating area.
The dome area was dim with little lights along the path to guide the way. The air in the room was slightly colder, causing Kris to shiver a bit. The pair sat by the edge of the walkway, wanting an easy exit once the show was over.
Kris pulled their oversized flannel a bit tighter to their body as more people filed into the seats around them. Berdly noticed their hunched over posture and offered to wrap a wing around them.
The human rested against the bird as much as they could with the armrest separating them. The lights went off completely as the announcer for the show began to talk. The big screen above turned on and looked like a window into space. Galaxies, planets, and stars slowly moved across.
The speaker went over the planets and galaxies nearby, and about halfway through the constellation lecture Kris started to get bored. Sure, the display was cool at first, but now all they felt was the itch to move around.
Kris turned their head to Berdly, seeing his focused expression trained on the screen above. They sighed and waited a few more minutes. The astronomer yapped on, and the human got more antsy by the second.
Okay fuck this, Kris needed to get out now. The human got up and discreetly walked out of the dome theater, almost hearing their mother’s voice reprimanding them for their rudeness.
Berdly stood up as well, worriedly following Kris into the quiet hallway outside of the auditorium. The human caught sight of his uneasy expression, almost feeling guilty. But this wasn’t just Berdly’s date. It was Kris’ too.
“Are you okay, Kris?” The bird asked, searching their expression with his avian eyes.
The human nodded. “Yeah, was just bored. Wanna do something else now?”
The bluebird felt a pang of hurt at that. Shit. He let down his date, choosing an activity so boring they couldn’t bare it any longer.
“Um, yeah! L-Let me just… uh…” he pulled out his phone with shaking fingers, trying to hide his upset. Kris reached out and grabbed one of his wings, eyes boring into Berdly’s.
“Berdly. It’s okay,” their voice managed to coax him into returning the gaze. His breath hitched, apprehensive eyes looking down at Kris.
“I just want to hang out with you. Don’t care where.”
Their grip moved into handholding, fingers and feathers intertwined. Berdly took a deep breath and sighed, collecting his thoughts.
“Okay. Plan B, how about going to the arcade down the street?” He asked, slowly regaining his confidence. Kris nodded at the suggestion, already walking ahead and tugging Berdly along.
“Great. Perfect! Off we go to the arcade," the bird voiced his inner monologue as the pair left the space exhibit and walked down the street.
The sun was beginning to set, turning the clouds orange and pink. The two walked hand-in-hand, blending in with all of the other couples out and about.
By the time they got to the arcade, the mood had been successfully restored. Kris nearly sprinted into the building, Berdly holding them back so they wouldn't trample a poor kid.
Kris went ahead and started fiddling with one of the machines while Berdly bent down to insert cash into the token dispenser.
"Okay here's your coins," he said while dumping them into Kris' waiting hands. Their face lit up as they shoved them into the nearest game, some variation of wheel of fortune.
"You're a gambler, huh? Makes me wonder what I'm getting myself into..." Berdly teased as the wheel spun around. Kris looked back at him with an offended glance.
"At least I didn't let our child starve..." they quietly retorted.
Berdly tried to contain his smile but was unsuccessful. "Pfft, our child? The Tamagotchi?"
He leaned in to Kris, hands on his hips. "That was one time! And you'd gamble away all of the food money!"
As soon as Berdly uttered those words the machine blared the lottery winning noise, showing that Kris had won the best prize.
They shamelessly displayed their shit-eating grin as they collected an absurdly long string of tickets.
Kris leaned in, inches away from Berdly's face.
"You were saying?" they cockily said.
The bird fluffed up and turned away, teeth gritted. "That was lucky!"
The human laughed and ran off, letting the bird chase after them. They stopped by a Street Fighters machine, pointing at it and looking to Berdly.
He cracked his nonexistent knuckles, giving Kris a determined look. "Oh you're on, Kris."
They ended up playing the game for at least half an hour, trading blows and taunts (that were totally not just flirting with extra steps).
After that they jumped around to various other games, giving skee ball a go, then whack-a-mole, then a 2D platformer. Kris suddenly stopped in their tracks, eyes trained on a specific arcade game.
They let out an evil giggle, slowly walking over to it.
"Kris, what are you..." Berdly gasped, and uttered with dread, "No..."
Before the two of them sat the game that changed the course of their lives.
"THAT'S THE GAME YOU MADE ME COUNT CHANGE FOR."
Berdly screamed, acting like the incident was the most traumatic event in his entire life. Kris grinned and ran up to it, already shoving tokens in.
The bluebird watched as they played Giga-Queen's Punchout, arcade version. He reluctantly took turns with Kris, ending up actually enjoying the game in the end (still not worth ten minutes of counting pennies, though).
They spent the last of their tokens, as Kris' stomach had started to make grumbly noises half an hour ago. The pair made their way to the prize exchange.
Kris scanned the prizes on the wall and looked down at their tickets. They had won an absurd amount of them through the lottery game, but still only had enough for a medium-sized stuffed animal.
They looked up and one caught their eye. With a point of their finger, the attendant came over and traded all their tickets for a soft blue bird plushie.
The toy looked eerily similar to Berdly, same blue feathers, yellow beak and feet. Only it was wearing orange shorts and had... nipples?
Berdly was on the other side of the counter, unaware. He was trading in his tickets for what seemed like a piece of moss? (This arcade had some seriously weird prizes).
"Okay, I have my prize picked out. What did you ge-"
Kris walked over to him and plopped the bird plushie on his head. It wobbled for a second before falling to the ground.
Berdly bent down to pick it up, holding it up to inspect it.
"Kris... this is..." he nearly teared up, so moved by the existence of a tiny nippled Berdly. "It's perfection. The most beautiful item to ever exist. Thank you for blessing me with this, Kris."
He hugged it to his chest for a second before handing over the moss to Kris.
"I, uh... only won enough tickets for this," he said, remorseful. How could he have disappointed Kris like this again? Who in their right mind would want moss as a gift...
The human grinned and took the moss, lightly petting it before shoving it in their mouth. Berdly gawked at them.
"Um. Should you be eating that?" the bird said, hand outstretched, unsure if he should stop Kris.
They simply munched on it and swallowed, stepping forward and giving Berdly a warm hug. The bluebird returned it with one hand, the other holding the bird plushie that was now trapped between their chests.
"Thanks, Berdly," Kris whispered squeezing once before letting go. The bird could only stutter in response, flustered from the contact.
The two decided to eat at the arcade, choosing to settle for the below average pizza. Kris was too tired to find a better place, anyways.
They chewed on slices of pepperoni pizza sitting across from each other, bird plush in Berdly's lap. The conversation had calmed down, the bird and human simply enjoying each other's presence.
Berdly blinked at Kris from across the table. Eating greasy pizza at an arcade filled with screaming kids had to be the least romantic meal he had ever had. But with Kris sitting across from him and happy, he couldn't find a reason to care.
After the meal, the two left the arcade. The sky was dark now, the bustling life of the town around them. Berdly called a taxi on his phone.
As they waited for it to arrive, they played a game on Kris' phone. (Mobile games are evil, but Berdly will play just this once!)
The ride was quiet. Kris unbuckled their seatbeat to scoot over and lean against the bluebird. The little bird plushie sat innocently next to them on the seat.
Kris tucked their chin in the crook of Berdy's neck, loving the softness of it. The human let out contented sigh through their nose.
They stayed like that, just breathing together for the ride home. Kris closed their eyes at some point, feeling the food coma hit them. Berdly tenderly rubbed their shoulder as they napped.
When the car arrived at Kris' apartment, the bird gently woke them up from their half-asleep state. Kris made a cute noise from the back of their throat, hands trying to wipe away the sleepy.
The pair somehow got out of the car, bird plushie in tow. Berdly walked the human to their door, hesitating.
'Is this the part where we kiss goodbye? Oh god, I'm not ready' he mentally screamed. If it were possible the bird would be sweating buckets.
Kris turned to Berdly at their doorstep. They stared at each other for long, agonizing seconds before he finally cracked.
“Um- Sorry- I’ll just, uh. Have- Have a good night?” he stammered.
The human nearly facepalmed. Angel above, he was such a dork. Someone save this poor bird.
“So, um, do we-“ Berdly got interrupted by the sudden sensation of hands gripping the shoulders of his shirt. Kris leaned in and stood on their tip-toes, face inches away from Berdly.
“We’re gonna kiss now,” they said definitively before closing the distance between them. Kris brushed a soft, hestiant, kiss across his cheek. Their lips were feather-light, teasing the skin under Berdly’s plumage.
The bird could only react, wings slowly raking up the human’s sides as they ventured further towards his beak. He wanted to steer Kris toward his mouth, but the bird was scared of stabbing their face.
Kris planted a couple more kisses across Berdly’s beak before pulling back to observe the bluebird’s frenzied expression. Their hands moved up to flatten his fluffed-up facial feathers.
“Do you, uh… want to keep going, or?” they started before Berdly abruptly bent down to grab Kris by their thighs and pinned them. Kris felt their back hit the front door of their apartment and squeezed their legs around Berdly.
The human let out a startled noise in the back of their throat as Berdly attacked them with pecks across their cheeks and nose. Kris’ breath hitched, not expecting the sudden change in the bluebird’s demeanor.
He moved down to the their mouth, initiating a burning open-mouthed kiss. They had a few mishaps with Kris’ teeth and Berdly’s beak, the human letting out giggles at the failed attempts.
After a couple tries the duo managed to find their rhythm, tongues sliding against each other as Kris’ fingers snaked up to Berdly’s neck.
Kris paused their canoodling to to giggle at Berdly, wiping the spit off their chin with their sleeve.
“Hehehe. You taste like pizza.”
Berdly blinked, unsure of how to respond to that. “Uhm, yes. We ate pizza thirty minutes ago.”
Kris simply snickered and initiated another kiss, gripping Berdly’s shirt to drag him closer. They continued their making out, the human’s hand slipping under the bird’s shirt.
The blue feathers felt warm and soft between Kris’ fingers. They slowly moved their hand to flip up the feathers, like petting a cat the wrong way. Berdly squirmed uncomfortably at the sensation, letting out a noise from the back of his throat.
Kris clawed into his chest feathers as they continued to kiss sloppily. The bluebird suddenly felt anxiety hitting him along with the heat pooling in his stomach. His movements paused, hands slightly shaking along Kris’ thighs.
The human opened their eyes to look up at him before abruptly falling backwards. The door that once supported Kris suddenly disappeared, and they tumbled down taking Berdly with them.
The bird caught a glance of Susie’s shocked expression before hitting ground and crumpling into a ball of limbs. The monster looked down in horror at the the squirming mass of feathers and skin.
“What the fuck,” Susie stated, slowly stepping away from them. Berdly slowly pulled himself off of the human, using the wall to stand up.
Kris stayed on the floor where they were sprawled on their back, the spit on their face an obvious indication of what they were doing with Berdly two minutes ago. The human turned their neck toward Susie and deadpanned at her.
Susie glanced in suspicion at the freaks before her. “Dude. I thought someone was trying to break in.”
Kris grinned and didn’t make an attempt to get up. Berdly just stood there, stammering out words, completely mortified. Susie sighed and then promptly turned around and escaped the situation.
‘Kris, you idiot,’ she went to her room and closed the door, leaving the two goobers alone.
The bluebird glanced at Kris on the ground and took a backwards step outside the door.
“Weeeell, it’s been, uh- great! Uhm, I’ll see ya later!” Berdly retreated from the apartment, closing the door on his way out.
Kris blinked their goodbye at him, still embarrassed from what just happened. They laid there, in front of the door, reeling from the events of the day.
Susie poked her head out of her room at the sound of the door closing.
“Uh, if you’re done being cringe, can you take out the trash?”
