“CHEESE ON BREAD”

The contradictions in Eddie Diaz have sucked me in, I'll admit. He gives great insightful life and love advice that he takes none of. He's former Texan army with a silver star— an all American hero — but only enlisted to run from his responsibilities. He's a Paramedic who joined Fight Club. A self-sacrificing single father who somehow leads a double life as a high roller. He has to be dragged into any new romance kicking and bitching but once there will pleasantly play house (right up until he does something dramatic to blow it all up). He obviously has commitment issues but has no problem emotionally and legally committing to his best friend. He doesn't believe in religious indoctrination or the supernatural but is very Catholic. He's Latinx and speaks fluent Spanish yet claims to watch Telenovelas for no reason other than to 'practice Spanish'. He's a regular, mentally stable guy. He's the least normal of them all, nor is he anywhere close to mentally stable.

oh. bobby doesn’t just see a son in buck. he sees himself. loyal to a fault who just wanted to be seen by people who were never even looking. just wanted to be good for something. for someone. to be wanted. okay.

Just a quick not friendly reminder: someone who has apologized for past mistakes, made amends for past actions, and clearly no longer holds past beliefs, is a far better person than one who digs up old dirt and uses a person's past that no longer exists against them.

christopher is old enough for regular sleepovers and late nights hanging out with his friends but he’s still happy to hang out with buck and that just. chris is past the age of making buck hand drawn cards calling them bffs but that’s still his buck. buck is the only other adult in christopher’s life who chooses him. he’s not eddie’s son to buck. he’s christopher. buck jumped into a tsunami trying to go after him. chris ran to buck when he was upset about eddie dating ana. they held each other when eddie got shot. they go to the zoo together. they bake together. they have nights just the two of them. there’s no way chris didn’t have someone’s house he could go to, but eddie said he was gonna take him to buck’s and christopher didn’t suggest an alternative because he loves him. it’s so special. he’s out of the arts n crafts phase, maybe, but pizza and movies and buck getting tagged on christopher’s insta story next to string of emojis buck doesn’t know how to decipher but that ends in two hearts, well. that’s pretty good, too.

the fun thing about eddie diaz is that i can make any of his storylines gay and i don't even have to try that hard. marrying his first girlfriend because he got her pregnant and the church says it's the right thing to do? gay. being in the army? gay. repression? gay. obviously. moving to LA? gay. he's from texas. what cishet texan is going to california? exactly. none. gay. never emotionally committing to women? gay. strained relationship with his parents who had expectations for him he's never going to meet? gay. growing up going to catholic school? so deeply gay in so many ways. wanting to feel normal again? this one was actually just trauma. perhaps a little gay though. having cardiac issues because someone assumed his longterm girlfriend was his wife? just start saying slurs at that point. gay. co parenting with another man? gay. not actually being with him? somehow gayer......pining and yearning are famously known for being homosexual emotions. don't even get me started on feeling like he has to perform on dates. homosexual behavior eddie diaz. fork found in kitchen some might say. fruit found in fruit bowl? whatever