honestly I don’t want ralph to remember/thinking about jack post-island. not even mention that name in his conversations with anyone. firmly believe that it’s hard to make him hate you but if you do there’s no coming back. he despises, loathes jack enough to completely ignore his existence. he’s still going to replay the horrors caused by merridew over and over in his head however he will never accept any apologies. not even after ages.
jack wouldn’t feel guilty for a while either. but once he starts to realise what really happened it will eat him alive. but for this time this isn’t about him (he will need time to accept that fact too)
who I do need ralph to think about though is piggy. oh, how terrifying his death was because no one seemed to care. out of fear or out of amusement. there was no time for that. like they ever bothered giving him time: to talk, to confess his beliefs or claim anything.
I hope ralph remembers how he never fully took his words into account till almost everyone left for jack’s tribe. I want him regret every time he didn’t return piggy’s kindness or enthusiasm about literally anything. I see him waking up from the nightmares that don’t look exactly all dark and frightening but ones where he sees piggy alive again, wants to tell something important to him but just… can’t. ralph is mute and his desperate attempts to mutter a word are completely useless. he wakes up crying and trembling.
these almost last lines in the book “Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man's heart, and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called Piggy.” don’t make me sad, rather disturbed. it took ralph two dead bodies and a spear sharpened at the both ends to understand the extent of the tragedy.
I want him mourn piggy properly. through all of his life, really. he deserves it.
