many thoughts head full

— its okay to have inconsistent amnesia barriers.

- its okay to not recall times when you were fronting.

- its okay to have full amnesia blocks sometimes, and emotional amnesia other times with no identifiable pattern.

- its okay to not have amnesia between switches sometimes.

— its okay to not have gatekeepers.

- its okay to not know if you do or do not have any gatekeepers.

- it is okay to wish you had a gatekeeper.

— its okay to have no control over switches.

- its okay to switch frequently.

- its okay to have a low splitting tolerance.

— its okay to be polyfragmented.

— its okay to have no communication.

— its okay to feel upset that youre a system.

- its okay to feel frustrated that these things are out of your control.

- its okay to not be making any “improvements” in communication or functionality.

- its okay to be angry.

so here's a list of symptoms we experience because of this disorder (feel free to add your own!)

dissociation (out of body, disconnected feeling)

dissociation/derealization (the world feels off, feel like you're looking at yourself in 3rd person)

auditory dissociation (the world sounds like you're underwater)

body stiffness (usually due to being triggered, i find my hands clamp into fists)

dissociative seizures (look identical to others as epileptic seizures but instead are caused by distress)

splitting headaches (due to splitting new parts feels like a pressure building up)

migraines (stress related)

sudden memory loss (ive forgotten our body's name, phone password etc)

emotional amnesia (i can remember this event but i have no emotional connection to it)

emotional bleeding (there's someone near me in front and they're really upset so i feel the emotions but don't know the cause)

irritability, overstimulation, distraction that disrupts thinking (all from splitting)

executive dysfunction (too many parts are wanting conflicting tasks to be done)

alice in wonderland syndrome type dissociation (i look at the floor and it starts to move and collapse into itself)

nightmares/night terror (unprocessed trauma that's hidden can still make an appearance - we spent a good 6 years filled with terror every night when we slept)

flashbacks/general ptsd syndrome (randomly crying from triggers usually results in a dissociative seizure)

self doubt (unable to remember our trauma so thus we must be faking /s)

consequences of others actions (taking responsibility for actions committed by the system but not the particular part and making up for it despite emotional amnesia/general amnesia)

PLEASE NOTE!!! I'm not good at English (my first language is autism) so I described these the best way i could!!! apologies if I got any words wrong

Shoutout to systems who have their stuff hyper aestheticifed.

You aren't faking for having a system journal be prettified to the max.

You aren't faking for having your systems simply plural incredibly in depth, with unique aesthetics.

You aren't faking for having pluralkit be decked out with custom emotes and more.

That's sick as FUCK!! kudos for having the energy to do that, you're no less a system than those who don't do that.

PRO ENDOS & ENDOGENIC "SYSTEMS" DNI - THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU!