after hours small town mr sub party

i love you semicolon. no one look at my 80 word sentence

don't worry about me when I say this but I think in a way being hunted for sport would be a relief. my nervous system would be like, wow. finally, a proportional reaction

*packing my suitcase for a 3 day trip* hm, but what if I need my terracotta warriors..

“I’ve discovered some new passages of the Bible that say you go to hell if you’re JD Vance and superhell if you are capitalizing off the AI boom.” and the pope is right

I think there's already enough passages pls stop finding new ones

it’s ok just this once

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

also, many women/people experience controlling behaviour and domestic violence from their partner for the first time during pregnancy. don’t risk thinking “he’s just stressed, it’ll get better when the baby comes” because it won’t. neither you and your child will ever be safe with that man. get out as early and safely as you can

every day it just concerns me how little compassion people have. no compassion for those living in the global south. no compassion for immigrants. no compassion for disabled ppl. no compassion for addicts. no compassion for prisoners. no compassion for children. like holy shit ...

The scientology speedruns were already funny but I thought they were joking when they said they were mapping the building. I absolutely lost it when I saw the actual map.

And in these next 50 years you will eat so many delicious meals, laugh so many times with so many people you love, shout and scream and sing and cry and smile so hard your face hurts. And you will see such beautiful sunsets and feel fresh cold air on your face and feel warm and safe wrapped up in your favourite winter coat.

I wrap this blessing around you like a shroud, so that no ill can find you, and every warmth is held close

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

Me a tumblr user: Do you want to?

Is it against genie rules to wish for a date with the genie? I mean i know it's generally considered a known rule for like. no compelled love / love spells but could I ask the genie out and would that count towards my wishes or would it be like hitting on someone who's at work

you can't wish for a date with the genie but you can ask it for one