okay so im hijacking this to list my favourite nascar sponsors, because i derive endless enjoyment from silly race names
#1 GO BOWLING AT THE GLEN
Gobowling.com is owned by a few companies in the bowling industry. Their only goal is to get you to convert to the bowler life. As far as i can tell, they are not even trying to sell you anything in particular. they just really REALLY want you to go bowling.
#2 VIRGINIA 592 COLLEGE SAVINGS 250
I love this one for two reasons. 1) if you're not familiar with the intricacies of college financial planning in the united states, you may be forgiven for believing that this race is going to be 529 miles (i mean everyone likes richmond, but not *that* much). but no, it is sponsored by the VA 529 state agency. basically 529s are college savings accounts that are tax-advantaged - you don't want me to get into it. 2) THE GRAPHIC IS DISGUSTING AND I LOVE I
#3 BLUE EMU MAXIMUM PAIN RELIEF 400
what to even say. yes, it is made from real emus. yes, you do have to kill the emu. does it work as a pain killer? who can say! (no, probably no better than a placebo)
another way to put it, literally sponsored by snake oil
#4: 2015 SPONGEBOB SQAUREPANTS 400
Nickelodeon has sponsored a lot of nascar stuff, but this one is my favourite, and only because they gave jimjam this fucking trophy
also at the teenage mutant ninja turtles 400 at chicagoland, they doused the winner, martin truex jr, in green slime
BEEF. IT'S WHAT FOR DINNER. 300
this gets a spot on the list only because i think it is incredibly bold to use not one, but two counts of punctuation in a race name
on the topic of daytona and races sponsored by public services,
Florida's department of transportation says: please don't hit that toddler with your big ass truck!
I think this company makes duck calls? at least according to wikipedia they also " manufacture deer-hunting merchandise under the Buck Commander brand, fishing gear with their Fin Commander brand, and turkey-hunting merchandise under the Strut Commander brand." Also they produce like 10 tv shows.
THE BUCKLE UP IN YOUR TRUCK 225 PRESENTED BY CLICK IT OR TICKET
Yes, that is the highest quality image available on the internet of the logo. Again, make sure you're buckled when you hit that pedestrian!
USE YOUR MELON. DRIVE SOBER 200
again with the punctuation. also, LOOK AT THIS THING. LOOK.
there are also many state/city tourism sponsored races, such as
which i do enjoy the rhyme very much
AAAAAND LASTLY, THE GREATEST RACE NAME TO EVER BE BESTOWED UPON THESE NASED CARS:
THE BUSHY MCBUSH RACE 300
the less context the better, for this one.
areudirty
theartofmadeline
vaporwave
gummygunk
origamiaround
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman
dededos
