Our Love Is God, Now Let's Get A Slushie

A speedy boy with a happy tail, weirdly realistically textured 4/5

Literally the cutest lil muffin I’ve ever seen with my own two eyes, his name is Stanley and he’s very curious 5/5 

I am uncomfortable but that sure is a horse. 1.5/5

This looks more like a pony which is a travesty. However he wins a point for looking like a sneaky boy with many secrets. 2/5

Another speedy boy! He is not as detailed which comforts me somewhat. 4.5/5 for being a blurry boy 

This boy is coming right at me which is a quality everyone should want in a horse. 5/5 

I’m not sure if Twitter has ever seen a horse before but their legs don’t usually look like the creation of schnitzel. 0/5 Please get this boy to a doctor.

This horse looks like a donkey and should no have been qualified, however he gets a point cus I like his footsie-wootsies 1/5 

His body language says carousel horse, and his expression says that he’s avenging his murdered brother through spite alone. Angriest boy I’ve ever seen. 5/5 

Alia Shawkat photographed by Matthew Sprout for Interview Magazine