orfamoJ

He is also a pessimist

James Dyson Meets In Secret With Alien Ambassador To Receive Technology For New Hand Dryer

TUCUMCARI, NM—Greeting the extraterrestrial diplomat at their usual rendezvous point atop an isolated mesa in the High Plains of eastern New Mexico, Dyson Ltd CEO James Dyson reportedly met in secret with an alien ambassador from the Zartrepylon star system to receive the latest technology for a new hand dryer Thursday night.

“The new slapstick comedy manga will center on Nagumo, a penniless college student who moves to a town filled with bizarre people. The magazine also teases about a “reckless girl who sets the city in motion.” 

Look forward to “CITY” with its first magazine release on 9/29!

Gaming Safety FTW: The Pokémon In Pokémon Go Will Now Scream When A Player Is Within A Mile Of A Registered Sex Offender

Video Game Boss Thinking He Should Get Big Glowing Weak Spot On Back Checked Out 

STAGE 6—Saying the slightly raised, throbbing red patch of skin has been bothering him for quite some time, local video game boss Overlord told reporters Wednesday he was thinking he should get the big glowing weak spot on his back checked out. “I was hoping the spot would eventually just go away, but recently it started flashing white when anything touches it,” said Overlord, adding that whenever the radiant area is aggravated, he becomes paralyzed for several seconds, during which time he cannot retract his segmented limbs or move the projectile-spitting skull-faces at the end of his appendages.

The Grammys stage wasn’t the only place today’s hottest artists expressed themselves. There was plenty of provocative spectacle on the red carpet as well—though, to be honest, it’s a little hard to care about it all after Kendrick Lamar’s performance.

1.) Lady Gaga

Even before her musical tribute to David Bowie, Lady Gaga was already honoring the late Ziggy Stardust with this glam creation from Marc Jacobs. Its electric-blue shade, pointed shoulders, and bold slit easily evoked Bowie’s outré, alien sensuality, and it would definitely be something we’d be talking about more if we weren’t too busy ruminating on Kendrick Lamar’s performance still.

2.) Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift took an unexpected risk with this belly-baring bandeau and it paid off as easily one of the night’s most daring moments—you know, next to Kendrick Lamar taking the stage shackled in chains for a rendition of “The Blacker The Berry,” a declaration of black pride poignantly juxtaposed against a statement about America’s disproportionate number of black prisoners. Meanwhile, Swift juxtaposed her crop top with a high-waisted skirt, and that was also worth discussing today, we guess.

Sorry, but did you even see Kendrick Lamar? Here, just watch it. Then we’ll get back to the clothes.

The second half of my submissions for the Nichijou zine!

The Paintings of Josh Cocking.