trapped in yaoi hell

Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

the big bang scares me because wdym.there was nothing but some random tiny shit and then suddenly there was more shit. how did the first shit get there

if tumblr was an online game i’d run my character up to your character and spam the jump button and do backflips and frontflips over your character’s head to show you i’m excited to see you on the dash

Hi, i am useless and Don’t do anything if you try to sign me up for an extracurricular I’ll kill myself

happy birthday america. just one bite of hamburger would begin to degrade my body. much respect

when housecats are small its awesome and when theyre big its also awesome. the bigger or smaller a cat is, the better. but there's also something so alluring about a perfectly average cat. you can't go wrong

” love and sex make us human! “ actually it’s selecting all images with a traffic light, but whatever, mate

What is up with lefty types pushing to learn practical skills (sewing/gardening/etc whatever) as like "you'll need to know this after The Revolution:tm:" and not, like, "this is a useful skill to help yourself & others in your communities Right Now". You all sound like doomsday preppers and it's weirding me out. We don't have to prep for communist rapture maybe thee revolution starts with helping your neighbors

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN LIKE....... it's weird. It's a subtle distinction but it's weird. People wanna be protagonists in post apocalypse movies so bad & when you're like "well that's not going to fucking happen innit" they call you a counterrevolutionary. Like yeah no I'm on board with dismantling the establishment etc etc I'm just saying you're being fucking weird about it. This is an action movie hero fantasy in a gen z aesthetic trenchcoat. You can just repair your clothes and feed people Right Now

I miss my leeches for all the normal pet reasons but I also miss being able to use them as a one-hit death blow to end stupid conversations. Whenever I defend the ecological importance of parasites someone will inevitably crawl up and go “well I bet you wouldn’t feel that way if you had them” and oooooo boy let me tell you. It was so fun to hit back with “I DO” and then whip out my phone and show them 30 pictures of my fucking Worms

What were your leeches named?? Please i need to know please please tell me about your leeches oh my god

Wormitha, Burrito, Chungus, Chocolate Chip and Squish Baby. I collectively called them The Squish Squad